[sinking]

Im trying to find a place of my own. im old enough for that. the only think keeping me from doing it sooner was money: not getting enough from those super small part time jobs… anyway. now i can, so im starting it.

but it has totally messed up with my head. because im the "i want it and i want it now" kind of person and it doesnt help…. stresses more. to the point i talk endlessly and very fast about the same things over and over. or i stutter and cant find words to say anything i wanted to say, and im feeling exhausted.

not excited for the research just endlessly exhausted. i still have 2 places to look at and then i'll decide which one will be mine. total is 3 options (tomorrow's included).

its such an important decision for me. im glad i have parents and T helping me out. im just so impatient.

i saw T today and she says its normal for someone with OCD, BPD, ANA, treated for low blood pressure and working her *** off at work, feeling overwhelmed by this research. but i cant give anything of this up. i'll do it, it all. meds will help. i'll do it. i'll do it. i must. i need a place on my own to make my choices.

just need some support please… someone to calm me down if possible please?

[falsememory7]

How you're feeling is completely normal. The good thing is that there are people who are helping, and you are on the right track. Even though you feel anxiety about it, your head is in the right place too, and you're doing exactly what you need to do to get what you want. Your own place will be here before you know it.