Anxiety Daily Check-In point #8

Despite the package headache my anxiety has been perfectly fine today. I've had a lot of caffeine in iced tea and I have not had an issue. I took 2 of my 3 valium just so I could keep maintaining things. I tossed out my vistril since my weight was getting concering. But I kept the bottle just in case because I do have one refill on it. But that one zofran yesterday seemed to have made things ok. So I don't know if something physical was going on. I also got off my benadryl and my old melatonin and I got onto some new OTC stuff for sleep. But today I've been fine.

I still had the package anxiety. Plus some health anxiety. I had to take a zofran and then some advil which I'm not allowed to take. But the liguid gels work so well I figured nuking my kidneys in order to feel better in the right now was worth it. I did not drink a pitcher of matcha though but I did have other tea and coffee. I think that package is just really unecessarily bugging me. Its not even anything important. Expensive yeah. Life threating no.

I have package anxiety. I have a few large and heavy packages I have to get from the package room downstairs, but I'm too exhausted to go through all that. I can wait another day or two before I deal with that.

I have general anxiety over all this pandemic stuff.

I have had strange nightmares and intrusive thoughts about past traumas. I'm not sure what past traumas have to do with this pandemic, but it sure seems to be coming up a lot since 2020.

I'm not sure how to cope anymore with all this anxiety. I do what I can, but my health is vastly deteriorating. If covid doesn't get me, this isolation will. It's like the abuser wanting to get me, but I'm safely locked away in my room - only to starve if I don't come out, but if I do, the abuser will get me. Covid is like the abuser to me. It wants to get me, torture me, and then kill me.

I have such morbid thoughts.

And yet I can't really remember, but I do see bits and pieces. My alters remind me what they know and why this pandemic scares them, too.

I think I have things worked out personally but covids got me freaking a bit with the first death from omicron being reported in England. I had just this morning posted something on facebook about how I wasnt going to let covid bother me anymore. I guess that was a lie.

Also the tornado thing too. Its not out of this world that a tornado could hit or even badly damage my town. That was a childhood fear of mine when I was 10.

Safe hugs and thoughts to everyone who is struggling with anxiety and the like.

I'm trying so hard to not be so fearful of covid, but then I lose it the more I read new news or even hear about people possibly having covid.

Truth is, I just don't want to lose anyone else in my life, and I want everyone to be covid-free, and I want to eradicate all these dangerous viruses, bugs, whatever.

It hurts me to hear when others are hurting or afraid, esp. about covid.

I'm having high anxiety today. I feel I need a break from it all.

I'm anxious. I have alternate personalities (DID) to help me with that, and even that is a mental illness. On top of all that, I have OCD, an anxiety-based disorder. Then I also have PTSD symptoms on top of all of that. I use coping skills to manage or even prevent panic attacks, but the nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts remain. I think "anxiety" is an understatement for me.

I also never get why people are so vague with their diagnoses on certain forums or in certain mental-health-based publications. When they say, "I have depression and anxiety," that could mean a million diagnoses, or not even one. Many people who don't meet the requirements of a mental disorder/mental illness will experience both depression and anxiety. To be clinically depressed or clinically anxious is a whole different playing field. Are you unipolar (major depressive) or bipolar (manic-depressive)? Or do you have depression with PTSD, etc.? Is your anxiety from trauma (PTSD), or from something more neurological, like OCD? Do you suffer from panic attacks with your "anxiety," or something else? I wished that people were more to the point, more clear, and less hidden. It's the secrecy and denials and all of that that reinforce the mental health stigmas, including specific diagnoses.

I hope you feel better @Yzen

I'm sorry you are struggling with anxiety.

Thank you for friending me. If any of my posts are triggering, you don't have to read them. I tend to say a lot of different things, but I also understand when even some of the things I say are triggering or too much to read.

Anyway, I hope you feel better.

I'm anxious that I'm all alone. I've talked to everyone today. They're done talking. So now it's just time for bed. It makes me anxious.

I'm feeling apprehensive about this day ahead of me.

My anxiety is under control after being a complete mess yesterday. I avoided caffeine to the point I have a bit of a headache right now from the lack of it. I had a couple iced black teas so I didnt totally cut it out. But I bought a lot of zero sugar caffeine free sodas yesterday and then I've had my usual decaf iced teas. I didnt worry about the news even after hearing about the huge amount of new covid cases in my state today.

I stuck to my 3 valium and I avoided the vistril. Which is good.

I'm very upset. I may take an extra Klonopin.

I haven't been able to relax or calm myself this past week...probably because I am not doing the right things that help me.

I'm dealing with my normal nightime hot and cold flashes. Like 5 minutes ago I got so hot I panic pulled off my blanket and my hoodie and now I'm freezing. But putting the blanket back on will just cause the same issue. I have a lighter throw blanket but its still too warm. Even with 2 blankets the fan is too cold. I kind of just have to deal with it until I am exhausted and I fall asleep.

I'd like to go into the kitchen and get water and a sleep aid but then I'll have to see people and I'll get comments on my hair and I dont have the mental energy to hold a conversation and I'll just come off as being rude.

I'm not really anxious. I've been taking a lot of Klonopin.

even though it's not happening for a good few weeks, (actually not until janury of next year), I'm still thinking a lot about it.

someoneI know (I won't call her a friend, I think she lost that status years ago) is coming over from spain to visit all her friends in my area and to see how things are getting on.

I hope I don't see her, i ****ing hate her

at least if I do see her, I hope it's for the shortest time possible

she lives in spain now, so won't be stopping long, still, even seeing her for a minute makes me want to be sick.

I'm anxious about what shocking news my half-sister told me about a couple family members. I'm tired though, and I need to sleep.

I'm not sure what to do because I don't know whats going on. I've taken what I can take for my anxiety. I have avoided caffeine all day. I took a zofran and ate some lemon salt Fritos to see if that would ease up my nausea. So far I'm still the nauseated anxious exhausted mess I was all day and I wish I knew what was causing it.

Are you at the age of perimenopause or dealing with any endocrine issues? There are physiological disorders that can affect mood, too. It's not always caused by our mental illnesses or medications. You can try asking your primary for some tests or at least screening via their questions to see if you need tests.

I'm anxious for my mom, since she lives with antivaxxers. My mom is boosted, but the boosters wane after 4 months, so I really worry about her come this next new surge that will traditionally happen between the end of December and April, when people are traveling a lot, taking extended vacations, and/or traveling multiple times for winter holidays and Spring Break. My family is still inviting antivaxx people over for Christmas dinner. I just cringe at the thought that one of them might wind up sick and in the ICU or worse.

There's no reasoning with them.