[splitimage]

I've been unemployed for the past year due to mental health issues and getting sober. I'm not back to actively looking for work. I've been responding to job ads and have gotten some callbacks so I know my resume's ok & I know the process is going to take time. The problem is my outplacement councillor is insisting that I need to network and cold call to really ramp up my job search. I know she's right but I'm paralyzed with fright at the very thought. I'm already on anti- anxiety meds which keeps me functioning but any advice on how to deal with the social anxiety that networking brings up and the fear that the thought of cold calling induces. Cause I'm feeling stuck and terrified.

--splitimage

[Debby]

Dear Splitimage,
I know how you feel. The thought of going back to work makes my heart race. I remember what a nervous wreck
I was when I left my last job due to depression. I used to shake
bad and couldn't write on cakes ( I was a cake decorator)
that was embarrassing.
I wish you luck in your search, I can only imagine what
you must be feeling.
I'm here anytime, take care

[Perna]

Can you join a "club" in your line of work that has meetings specifically to network? My son is an insurance broker and has a breakfast group he enjoys that meets every week and it has people from all different sorts of jobs getting together to network and work together on networkng ideas in a pleasant environment before work.

Or, I've been thinking of joining a local Toast Master's club so I don't get as anxious speaking extemporaneously.

[ECHOES]

Can you say what it is exactly about the cold calling that brings up the fear?

Sometimes if we trace it and name it we can figure out how to turn it from an obstacle into something else, something helpful instead.

Has the outplacement counselor suggested writing up a script to use when you call? That can be reassuring to have in front of you. That's one example and it depends on what part of the cold calling you can identify as the part that makes the anxiety kick in or ramp up.

Good luck, I hope you find a wonderful job soon!

[CedarS]

Sometimes it has really helped me to plan a reward for after I do the challenging action. I especially tend to not be fond of making cold phone calls, so if I've figured out a reward I get once I do so, then I find I am able to plunge in a little easier.

My rewards have been along the lines of - "...once I make this phone call I get to walk up the street and treat myself to a nice mocha and piece of pumpkin bread at the coffee shop..." - something along those lines.

[scott88keys]

Do you have a friend you can call and 'practice' a cold call? I belong to a couple professional associations that makes networking easier for me--and for the most part, everyone's real nice. I remember how much anxiety I had going back to the job I took a leave from during my 'breakdown' and hospitalization--I'm with you, babe. It's not easy. I just kept telling myself, "I can do this."

What's the worst that can happen? You don't get the job, so then it wasn't meant to be; what it was meant to be was a practice experience.

[Ocean13]

I totally understand that anxiety. Been down that road too much in the last few years. I did a lot of research on job hunting sites. The questions that may be asked, how to answer, how to stay calm, cool, collected, etc. It helped a lot. If necessary, write/type up the questions and have a family mbr or friend ask the questions like they are your interviewer. It'll make it much easier in the long run. BEST OF LUCK!!

Ocean

[SpazKatt]

I understand that it's scary, it is for anyone, let alone someone who suffers from anxiety! Before I call someone I write down what I want to say. I like to rehearse a bit and imagine how the conversation will go so I am prepared. I also like to have a magazine to glance at and read (as I write this I realize how that must sound, like I'm not even paying attention, but it really does help calm me. I must be some sort of multitasker master!)

[chalmette70043]

(((((((Split))))))))) Just want to let you know im trying to think of soemthing to say to help, but nothing is coming to mind.

So, I'm going to wish you the best and give you a big hug.
And I'm gonna kick that anxiety in the butt for ya!

Love ya ((((((((Split))))))))

[BalishBun]

Job hunting is tough to begin with even if you dont have anxiety or any other issues to begin with. The economy stinks. But I can see why it would be a challenge, if I lost my job right now and had to "job hunt" I would be asking for double doses of Zoloft and Xanax. Its intimidating out there and 10x's worse when you have anxiety, depression, etc. Just be a trooper! Its hard, I know.