[InkyTinks]

Does anyone else constantly think nobody likes them?

I am going through the peri-menopause which has heightened my paranoia but also have autism too so genuinely have no idea whether I'm breaking 'unwritten social rules' constantly (cos nobody tells me) and people just think I'm weird or what?

I try and remember all the rules I know of and act as normally as I can, even if I don't mention autism and only mention physical issues I may get sympathy and people being friendly when I first join a group but then after a while its back to my posts being ignored or no-one else answers after I tried to join in or something.



I find it really frustrating, never knowing what it was I was doing wrong because I seem to repeat the same mistakes and no-one ever tells me what it is that makes me come across as so abnormal and different about me.


So I give up trying to relate to people until I get so depressed I end up trying to find someone else like me and repeat the whole cycle again (try to find a group where no-one knows me so I get a relatively normal conversation for a few months until people decide I'm weird again and the cycle repeats)

I start thinking it must be more than just autism as I seem to have absolutely no ability to relate to the people,no matter how hard I try. I don't have any friends though I think the pandemic hasn't helped as I do have an autoimmune condition so have been unable to go anywhere busy for just over 2 years.


I have only one sibling as our parents died years ago, his current gf seems more patient than past gf's but she has worked with people with autism in the past, so is maybe a little more knowledgeable and tolerant than 'joe public' so we do seem to 'get on' when we meet for a couple of hours in the garden for drink.

But I did live in a unit before for people with autism where all the staff were your friends (until I left and they weren't getting paid to be 'my friend' anymore! - haven't seen any of them since). ..which doesn't do much for your self-esteem either!

[Yaowen]

I'm so sorry you are in the situation you describe. Wish I knew what to say that would help!

[unaluna]

I just bought but havent yet read a new book by hannah gadsby. I really relate to a lot of what you are saying. I feel like i was saying my whole life, "why didnt anybody tell me?" My answer is partly that they did, but i couldnt hear them.