[darkfeary]

Is this all there is to my life now? Just constant obsessive thoughts and feelings about aging and dying. Thanatophobia. It never leaves me alone. I hate my damn mind and body for making me a prisoner. Neverending torture. I do not want to live this way. Absolutely unbearable and hopeless and miserable. So sad and frustrating that I have to live the rest of my life like this. 😭

[Yaowen]

What an utterly heartbreaking situation. Wish I knew what to say that would help.

I have anxiety over and illness and death too although I have been spared the depth of pain that you describe.

Lately I have been trying to channel my energy into a kind of mission of attempting to help others: people, animals and even plants. I have found that it helps me a lot although not being a psychologist or anything I can't offer this as advice to you or anyone else.

To be honest I got this idea from reading about the ideas of psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. There's probably articles about him on the internet. He was a Holocaust survivor.

If I was a psychologist or wise man I would try to help you but I am just a fellow struggler. So very, very sorry I don't know how to be helpful to you but I hope things improve for you!