[Biba_yu]

I admit I am hypochondriac. I have enormous health anxiety, I live in constant fear. I am not even that scared of dying. I don't want to, but I am aware all that all that lives has to die, that's nature.
Most terrifying to me are neurological diseases. When I heard about als my anxiety went sky high, I think I wil never recover from that, I wish I have never watched that damn movie about this disease.
I get twitches from time to time, for years now. They appear on various places and last from a day to weeks to even months. I can't even accept them like something that happened already so "it happens". They are always different! They appear on different parts on my body, they are different in the strenght, frequency, size, triggers... I can't stop obsessing and I know it's ruining my life!
I had obsession first time circa 7 years ago when I got twitching on my right thumb. At first, I was just worried but went to the neuroogist in hope of reassurance. She said that it "doesn't look good" and I should do the EMG but it could actually be "start of ALS". That triggered an avalanche of the worst fears in my mind, I was on the werge of doing something very bad to myself.
Luckily, 7 weeks later the twitching stopped after physiotherapy because I was diagnosed with some tendon issues. But it didn't end there.
I got them on my lower quads, 3 weeks, mild ones, occassional, then on left tricep, very constant, 3 weeks again. Then lef thimb, then lip, even shoulder (this one lasted 3 months and I had another EMG!).
Each time it was hell for me, I felt alone, depressed, in constant fear, obsessed with death in terrible pain and disease that robs you of every single movement, even breathing and then it kills you. What's worse, no one knows what causes it and it's 100% deadly. And I have no one to take care of me if I am sick or can't move. No one!
After all that sufferring I noticed lately a new twitching. On my left knee, on inner side it's occassionall but looks widespread unlike before which were all localized. On outer side of knee it's constant and very visible. Of course, this one looks nothing like those before and it looks worse and more insiduous because it's not localized as before, it's more spreading and it's pretty constant. I am in deep deep darkness again.
I can't live like this anymore1 I am tired of putting myself through this hell! I am on meds which don't help except to help me to sleep. Doctors usually put me through tests and I am very scared of results every time! I can't can't live like this anymore.
I tried therapy, I tried meds, I tried to live healthy, I have a job, hobbies, I do a lot of things, nothing helps! People don't like me. I am aware I will die alone, but I don't want to die that way. I just can't I don't know what to do.

[SquarePegGuy]

I agree. I think neurological diseases are very scary.

My father had ALS, @Biba_yu. I don't recall that he had any twitching whatsoever. The one and only symptom was progressive muscle weakness, which started at his extremities and worked inwards.