my daughter and her b/f would stop shouting and griping at each other am i being selfish asking for a bit of respect here? i am so stressed, depressed and fed uptoday, now she is slamming doors and shouting and ranting cos the neighbours security light is shining into our house .... i told her they only just put it up and they probably didn'trealise it's shining in and all she needs to do is have a friendly word whenthey come in and ask them to re adjust it ..... anxiety levels going UP Jinnyx

[BalishBun]

Griping is irritating even if its not at you. I get irritated by it too.

[pachyderm]

For me, I think griping and shouting would remind me too much of my childhood -- and that would be anxiety-producing. Always expecting things to spiral out of control.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( jinnyann )))))))))))))
I am sorry that your anxiety level is high, other people carrying on bothers me too.

[nightbird]

i'm reminded of when a child of mine would act in a disrespectful manner to me.

i would do the old silent treatment. it didn't last long at all because she caved in everytime, then i could get her attention.

if that doesn't work, you could always mimic her. my grandmother did that to me and i couldn't stand it. boy, did i quit some things real fast.

love, Luv
night

xoxoxoxo

[thelostone]

i sssssooooooooooooooooo understand what you are going through. my oldest is 25 and she gets along great with her boyfriend, but yells at her kids and her little sisters. she wants to be "in charge" of everyone, but her sisters will have none of it, and tell her so. i just wish everyone could remember they love each other and work it out quietly. and they wonder why i hide in my closet

lost

i hate having to say this, it breaks my heart ... but right now she is showing similar behaviour to my mum and it triggers me.

My own daughter.... is showing narcissistic tendancies. I can't talk to her because she is never wrong .... i am so sad that this behaviour triggers me. She is very direspectful to me, her dad, her brother and her b'f in front of others. I clam up most of the time .....she treats us all like idiots and little children ...... she butts in to our conversations but hates it if anyone starts talking a second after her when we've not heard her or something ... this is really bothering me now ...

thanks so much for the replies .... has anyone been triggered b their offspring before? I am going to mention this to my t thisafternoon, i hate thinking like this. I don't see my mother any more or even stay in touch. for my own mental health and well being as she just triggered me all the time.

Jinny

[thelostone]

((((((((((jinnyann))))))))))

discuss it with your therapist is a good idea. and you are not alone, my oldest triggers me. and i can't tell her because she would be very upset that it happens and then expect me to comfort her which would make it that much harder for me. perhaps you could have her father or one of her siblings talk to her about what she is doing to you? i have to have "daddy" calm mine down once in a while. i understand about the mother thing too. i have very limited contact with mine too.

children are difficult to deal with sometimes, even whrn they are "grown up". wish i could offer you more help on this. maybe your T will have some suggestions.

lost

(((((((((((thelostone))))))))))))

yes, i am very upset about this ..... i worry for her too with this attitude. I will speak to my t ... going in five mins to see her

love, Kerry xx