[Defective]

So ive been contemplating my haircut i got a week or two ago. Im very socially phobic so going out to get a haircut is a big deal. The ex used to cut my hair a lot even just so i could get out of it But thats not an option so i had to go to a place cause i didnt trust cutting my own hair and it was getting way too long. I figured 2pm on a tuesday was as dead as it was going to get.

So im at the place and its going good. No one else is waiting and only two other people getting a haircut. Great! So i get called and seated and all that. They always like to talk. I suppose most customers appreciate conversation. So "Where do you work" comes first. My answer is "Uhh im not working at the moment". At the moment or any other moment for the last 4 years. Least i knew not to add the last part in. "Do you hang out with friends all day then?" to which i only responded "No". It got quiet after that haha go figure and eventually we talked about the news and movies or something less humiliating. My question is next time i need a haircut im not going to want to go so i need a plan to calm myself. Would it be ok if i lied ya think? Just made up some job. Just so i wouldnt feel like i had loser written on my forehead. Or what would have been a better way of dealing with that? I could feel myself blushing and it made me wanna just get up and run right in the middle of it. It sounds dumb ive been thinking about this for week or two but its just how i am when i feel i emberassed myself.

[ECHOES]

I think your reply was perfect, and truthful. I'd stick with that. The "why" and the "so what do you do all day" is no one's business and I would ignore the rude question.

[AAAAA]

When asked a question like that I respond "I'm lucky right now, I don't have to work." They don't have to know that I had a mental break down and had to quit working. As to what you do all day, it is a rude question, and I'd reply, "Oh, I keep busy."

I'm sure she didn't make you feel bad, she just wanted to have conversation. I've been in the chair and the woman cutting hasn't said a word to me, kept talking with co-workers about parties and such.

[(JD)]

I think you did fine too. When people ask me questions I don't wish to answer, I reply with a similar question (in this case, How long have you been working here (or doing this type of work?) You're right, it's just small talk and just about any topic will do. I wouldn't out and out lie, as if you are working at a particular job, then they might actually be interested and ask MORE questions about your work!

You could always use technical words for housekeeping or tv watching... some kind of research or engineering would do.

[Defective]

Thanks for all the replies. I feel better already about the experience. Why i didnt post about it at the time rather than replaying it over and over at night i dunno. It seemed so minor of a thing but i just wouldnt let it go.

I like the suggestions. Im a furniture distresser haha. Thats actually a good point though that if i did lie it might bring even MORE questions. Something i try hard to avoid. I need to learn answers like "i keep busy" too, thats a great answer and can be taken as a very polite none of your business as well depending on the tone i use i bet

[splitimage]

I had to go to a wine and cheese party when I was unemployed and it was one where I barely knew anybody, so everyone was asking me what I do. I just said I'm an accountant. Then when they asked what firm I was with, I just laughed and said, actually I'm taking some time off right now. I tried to say it in a positive voice and spin it like a positive rather than feeling bad about being unemployed due to addiction / mental health issues.

It's all in how you present it.

[BalishBun]

I think the hair stylist just avoids silence by asking questions and trying to make conversation. I think they should think about the questions they are asking, and ask questions that everyone can answer comfortably. And hey, they don't know anything about you, so if you felt like telling them you work as a race car driver, i would so do it. Who cares what you tell them?

[jkarm]

No, you don't have to lie. It's okay to not be into small talk and all that comes with a dead conversation. What if the two of you become friends, the whole friendship on your part will be a big, disappointing, depressing LIE! Just be yourself, whatever that is, and get your haircut because most of the time once you pay its on to the next customer for the stylist , barber, etc... and just like you they wonder what their gonna do that evening or how they are gonna pay that big car payment, you know. Oh yea, I used to be a barber, just go enjoy your haircut it can be very stress relieving.