[Lik3]

I obsess about extreme infidelity stories, fictional or real. I investigate to see the motives behind the infidelities, why a person would do it, if the person was telling the truth or not, or whether it would occur under duress or some other reason.

Here is what happens with me:

1. I would obsess or have a word or phrase that gets me worried.
2. I do an online search based on what I obsess about.
3. Once I find something to obsess about, I click on it making sure it is cached.

Then I read it in its entirety:

My first wife was having an affair for several years. When I finally forced a showdown, she confessed to 13 affairs during our marriage.

She then walked out leaving me with our 7 year old son.

I found it difficult to trust anyone for years after. It was too painful a scar.

I did eventually remarry and my wife and I have been married for nearly 30 years now.

I do not feel at all 'Guilty' over my lack of trust in people afterwards. But luckily it seems to have been almost healed over the years.

Pax et Bonum

4. I read it, but read it and keep on reading it. I try to investigate and determine if it is true or not. I look at the content at hand and wonder if it is true. I think if it is possible but since this is an internet post, anything is possible. So I spend a lot of time investigating it.

5. Everyday or every other day it is like this.

How do I deal with them? How do I just ignore them? I am a diagnosed bipolar yet I can actually deal with the bipolar. The anxiety is hard. I never had any personal issues when it comes to infidelity. It doesn't make sense. It is unreasonable. I know if I didn't have these problems, I would have known about it.

Lik3,
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is famous for torturing the victim with nonsensical compulsions (I have OCD, hence my wording). Do you see a therapist who can help you deal with the compulsions? I totally understand, so know that you have my deepest empathy!

[e_sort]

lik3,

the more I hear stories like this, the more I realize I am among peers. the internet is a real problem for people like us I think.

To give you an example that will probably sound familiar -- I have varying degrees of obsession about the reality of tv medical dramas, as if this is information I need to know for the future, in case I have to make a similar medical or ethical decision. There's no end of doctors and med students writing about this kind of thing. I don't know if you watch House or saw the finale, but it was both extreme and heart-wrenching, and I had to spend a lot of time reading about whether the situation was plausible, i.e. something i should worry about happening to me.

yeah right. In parallel to your situation, not only am I in fine health and always have been, but nobody in my family is or has ever been seriously ill either.

it's not my main OCD thing, but it fits in a pattern of thinking. and it can take up a lot of time.

medication has helped me a lot. before that, it did sometimes help to physically get up and remove myself from the computer. and as the therapist said, remember "it's not you, it's your brain".

I found that a little hard to swallow but there's truth in it.

[Simcha]

I don't think it's unusual per se to be obsessed about something that doesn't/didn't directly effect you. Remember, anxiety is always unreasonable, and is really just a heightened, irrational response to a stressor. Fear is reasonable; anxiety is not. It takes time to work through these things, but I believe that you need help in doing it (most anxiety disorder sufferers need professional help, IMO). I hate how my anxieties and hyperfocusing get in the way of my life and take up my time. Before I know it, the day is gone sometimes. I've missed important deadlines and events, and failed to fulfill obligations because of them. The only thing I found that helps me is to talk about it with my therapist.

It's not like you can turn off a light switch and it disappears like that. Nothing is that easy, especially since the OCD wasn't built overnight.
In the truest sense, OCD is an anxiety sufferer who is engaging in compulsions/obsessions as a way to attempt to gain control over irrational anxieties--- like a dysfunctional coping mechanism. After all, it is classified as an anxiety disorder. All anxiety disorders can be undone with the proper help. I don't have OCD, but I can get really obsessional sometimes I find it difficult to stop "hyperfocusing", which is similar to following an obsession and is definitely compulsive behavior. Hyperfocus is a behavior commonly found in people with ADHD (which I have).

How are you currently handling your obsessions? Do you see a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist? A counselor? Is there a professional that you have been able to talk about this problem? Are there support groups that are helpful in overcoming OCD behaviors that you could attend? Support is so important in overcoming the self esteem issues that come with not living up to expectations (either yours or society's).

[Schatje]

I'm Bipolar II, OCD, and GAD and know where you are coming from. I added on Effexor to help with the anxiety (on top of my bipolar med) and would go to therapy if I had time, but I don't. The OCD affects me when it comes to checking if things are locked up and off before bedtime and when it comes to checking my writing. Seriously sometimes when it is bad it takes me an hour to write a reply on a forum, but it is getting better, and sometimes I don't even reread my post or spell check.

I don't know if you are seeing someone for the bipolar, but if you are, be sure to make this a focal part of the discussion at your next appointment. It is not unusual to end up with a dual or even multiple dx.