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  #1  
Old Mar 29, 2014, 03:24 PM
Anonymous100305
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When I'm home for days at a time, I start to feel almost normal. In fact, I begin to wonder why I don't just get out & do something! (I've now aged into retirement so I'm not employed... not that I was before either.) Then if I go out, for example, shopping with my wife the way I did this afternoon my anxiety level goes through the roof. My head feels as though it might explode, my whole body gets tingly, & I feel like I'm not quite all there but rather I am floating somewhere is space. I'm reminded of why I just stay home alone as much as I possibly can.

So, now that I'm home again, I'm exhausted, shaky & suicidal. Typically my emotional state is just what I refer to as "dull acceptance". But it's at times such as now that I sink into that other state, the one I refer to as: "I just can't stand this for another minute!" Of course, with my wife home, there's not much I can do to hurt myself. That will have to wait until Monday. And, by then, I'll most likely be back to the "dull acceptance" state just treading water. This is such a fun existence I lead...
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  #2  
Old Mar 29, 2014, 04:17 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi Skeezyks, Now what did you want to go shopping for??!!
But seriously, if you're having problems with anxiety that really can't be the easiest situation to be in. That can be a big anxiety inducer when you're suffering from anxiety.
I completely understand if you're looking to do "average" things that some people do day-to-day but it's sounding like you do need to give yourself a bit of a break. I'm thinking maybe you're pushing yourself a little hard?
Sure a little shopping might not be out of the question, going "back to the beginning" and practicing some techniques for in situations like that, but for now perhaps even a walk down the road....then maybe a little further.....then maybe a little further.......then maybe a little more regular..........is enough, do you think?
None of this says you're weak, none of this says "you can't", none of this says you've failed, it more so says too much too soon. And that really doesn't matter, if you can just keep pushing against your "comfort zone" just enough for now.
In terms of your life in a more whole sense then if your wife is doing the shopping doesn't matter, you can be just as important in preparing more of the meals, right? And there will be other things you're bringing to the relationship too.
Sure, it can't be that easy for you feeling restricted, but that doesn't need to be forever at all.
And naturally going back to the overall way you've been feeling with the depression, do you think returning to therapy might help a little with that? Or more support from a pdoc?? The way you're feeling today...........tomorrow.............next week..............next month doesn't have to be your future if you can get the right help.
And of course, anything I/we can do..............I'm/we're here for you!!



Alison
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  #3  
Old Mar 29, 2014, 08:06 PM
Anonymous100305
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Hi Alison: Thanks for commenting on my post! Actually, this has been going on literally for years and years. Sometimes it's not so bad. Sometimes it's quite bad. Today was bad because this was the 1st nice day we've had so far this year, weather-wise. As a result, everyone was out & the streets & stores were packed.

I don't have any problem being out in general. I take our dog for 2 walks a day every day in all kinds of weather. But, of course, we're basically alone for the most part. Occasionally we'll meet up with another dog & its owner. Some I've gotten to know a little bit & we'll stop & chat for a short time.

So it's just being out & about in crowds of people that sends me over the edge... the bigger the crowd, the further over the edge I go. I never go to movies, concerts, the state fair, or anything like that. And you wouldn't catch me anywhere near a shopping mall during the Christmas shopping season!

So, in general, I just know what I can tolerate & what I can't. And I do the things I can & I don't do things that make me uneasy. But sometimes, like today, I just have to suck it up & do something I know is going to hurt. So that's what I do.
Thanks for this!
Gus1234U
  #4  
Old Mar 29, 2014, 11:19 PM
Anonymous37954
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It's the supreme disappointment that things haven't changed that really gets to me.
Optimism sucks, sometimes.
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  #5  
Old Mar 30, 2014, 07:02 AM
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Gus1234U Gus1234U is offline
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how well i remember~ i still have a little bit of anxiety going out, but it's over more rational things, like getting stranded (which has happened) or other PTSD kinds of things.

i will share with you what helped me. maybe you will find some relief there, too.
acupuncture was the first thing that really made a difference for me. i went to stop smoking, and the treatments alleviated my OCDs and Anxiety Disorders~ talk about surprised~!

then, seeing my change, the Acu doc told me about an auditory program he and his partner use to minimize stress and maximize ability... it's called Holosync (you can read about it at http://centerpointe.com .

it comes in meditation support formats, but the only place it's sold in therapeutic format is there. i have been using it for about 9 yrs, the initial complete course is 7 yrs. but of course you can stop anytime you like. i am officially "in remission" (doc speak for recovered) from bi-polar, OCD, GAD, am greatly improved on PTSD, and am finally regaining my memory, (which was damaged by meds).

i attribute this recovery to meditation, buddhist mind training, and mostly the holosync. you have to dedicate time every day to get the most out of it, tho.

it is my sincere hope that everyone finds a way out of crippling anxiety. there are other skills one can learn and use, (i don't know how much you have looked into anxiety management). there is a post in this forum about coping skills: http://forums.psychcentral.com/post-...anic-ptsd.html

i wish you the very best~ thanks for posting ~
Gus
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  #6  
Old Mar 30, 2014, 03:42 PM
jblue jblue is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: new york
Posts: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Skeezyks View Post
When I'm home for days at a time, I start to feel almost normal. In fact, I begin to wonder why I don't just get out & do something! (I've now aged into retirement so I'm not employed... not that I was before either.) Then if I go out, for example, shopping with my wife the way I did this afternoon my anxiety level goes through the roof. My head feels as though it might explode, my whole body gets tingly, & I feel like I'm not quite all there but rather I am floating somewhere is space. I'm reminded of why I just stay home alone as much as I possibly can.

So, now that I'm home again, I'm exhausted, shaky & suicidal. Typically my emotional state is just what I refer to as "dull acceptance". But it's at times such as now that I sink into that other state, the one I refer to as: "I just can't stand this for another minute!" Of course, with my wife home, there's not much I can do to hurt myself. That will have to wait until Monday. And, by then, I'll most likely be back to the "dull acceptance" state just treading water. This is such a fun existence I lead...
I admire your courage to get out. Keep posting. There are many here to support you
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dandylin
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