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#1
Oct 24, 2008, 10:32 PM
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So, my boyfriend took a trip to see his family for 10 days and my anxiety levels are sky high. Last time he was gone it was because he left me while I was at work and took a plane back to his family. No note or anything. He has been back in my life and home with me for about 4 months and I still fear him leaving me again. He swears that he would never do that to me again. He is so very sweet, loving, kind, etc. We have been in a happier, healthier relationship since his return, so I feel like I should have no reason to worry.
I can't figure out how I am going to sleep without him here.I have locked all of the doors and windows. I have all the lights on in our tiny apartment and took my sleeping meds. He was so cute, though. He drew a pic of his face, put it on the pillow, took another pillow and put his t-shirt over it, then placed a pair of his sweats on the bottom, like it was wearing pants. He didn't want me to feel lonely. I am anxious that he won't come back. I am anxious that someone is going to break in. I am anxious I won't get through Halloween without him here (Halloween terrifies me). I fear something will happen to him or me and either one of us won't know about the other. I fear.....everything. It isn't fair. I don't want to fear everything or be anxious about everything. I am doing deep breathing. I am watching funny stuff. I am trying to think positive thoughts. I just can't get my anxiety to chill out. It scares me. 
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Oct 24, 2008, 10:51 PM
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(((((((((((( onlymedid )))))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you are having anxiety problems. It's very understandable that you feel the way you do, please take good care of yourself.
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#3
Oct 25, 2008, 06:52 AM
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(((((((((onlymedid))))))))))
how did it go last night? did you get any sleep? I'm sorry your anxiety it so bad......I hope you are OK. Do you have any friends or family that can help you while he is gone? or maybe even stay with you on Halloween? sending peaceful calming thoughts your way, ktgirl |
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#4
Oct 25, 2008, 08:15 AM
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Gimmeice, thank you. I will do my best to take care of myself.
ktgirl, I did get some sleep, but I woke up through the night reaching over and realizing he wasn't there.. So....I slept a little. I go to work soon, so that will keep my mind occupied for a while! Oh, I had my ipod on last night too with some mellow music because I can't stand the silence. I am used to his snoring!  I have family and my friend said I can hang out with her and her 4 month old son any day I would like, her son is SOOOOO cute and my biological clock is ticking so I can live through her! LOL For halloween my family and friends are all taking their kids out or having parties and I just can't stand masks, costumes, being frightened or anything else about halloween...not even the candy cuz I am dieting.  I think I am just going to stay inside, turn the TV on and keep my light off so no one comes to my door.Thank you for thinking of things and trying to help. I really appreciate it! BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#5
Oct 25, 2008, 09:19 AM
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I know what you mean - my sleep is always very restless when my H is away and I wake up cnfused and wonder where he is.
Sounds like you have a good support system....try to lean on them and not isolate yourself. And keep posting on here! You can lean on us too, if it helps.  You'll make it through this. ktgirl |
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#6
Oct 25, 2008, 07:11 PM
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I will try to lean on my friends and family...but I have issues with asking for help irl. I am the strong one, ya know.
 So, I may lean on ya here....because it really does help!  Thank you ktgirl!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#7
Oct 25, 2008, 11:13 PM
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****onlymedid****
which is more important to you - your rep as the strong one or getting help while your fella is gone? halloween freaks a lot of folks with past issues. could i suggest you just do "whatever" it takes to take good care of you. plus, as a mom i ALWAYS loved having people to fuss over my baby and give me a bit of a break - it's a win/win. PLUS, you are always welcome to come here and we will support you. I am PLANNING to ask for lots of support right now too. i am in a painful, scary, hard place and i need support very, very badly. so, i'm telling you what i'm gonna do and i wish i had some more local support. my spouse will not support me emotionally and some others thought i should be well sooner than i could manage and removed their support. i act flippant and it wrenches my heart. feel free to ask me for help; i sure know how it can be. i am not scared of halloween much anymore things got better on that issue of creepiness. i care, i'll be here! hugs too! leslie and her pixies 
__________________
  HEALING HAPPENS
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#8
Oct 26, 2008, 06:07 AM
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((((((((((((((((onlymedid))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((leslie and pixies)))))))))))))) I hope you are OK It feels good to know we are not alone and can lean on each other for support.
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