[ghosty72]

I graduated college a year ago & couldn't find a job until 5 months later. I thought I had found the best job for myself, since I'm incredibly shy. It was working at a call center for a local cable company. I was only able to work there for three months, because every day I was excusing myself to the bathroom several times due to becoming physically sick. Also, I started having panic attacks during calls & couldn't control my emotions sometimes.

What's happened since then is that I'm unable to find a job. I don't have any work experience & although I had a lot of anxiety working at the cable company, I regret my decision to walk away from the job. It seems like everyone I know has a great job, but I can't even get an entry level position because I lack experience. I keep telling myself to take a job at a place like Wal-mart & work there for 6 months, then find a new job. I'm just worried that I won't be able to handle the angry/ignorant customers. Plus, I'm worried that I'll never have a real career, just one bouncing from job to job, never making enough to live on my own.

I have no clue what to do with my life, because right now, I think I've spoiled everything. I have no friends, was never even able to make one during college & now I live with my family, who talk disparagingly in front my face & behind my back when they think I'm not listening. My mom recently told me that she was disappointed that I never became anything 'great'.

Anyway, that's me. I hate whining, I just never have anything to talk to who can give me constructive advice. Everybody I know is either an engineer or something else more professional, who had everything handed to them in a way...so they can't understand what it is to be in my situation.

[OrangeMoira]

Welcome to the site! I don't think you're whining at all. Sometimes it helps to get things out. I'm sorry that you are getting some criticism at home. That must be very discouraging. Graduating from college is a great accomplishment. It shows you are smart, work hard, and follow through. Those are skills that will help you on the job, even if you don't have much experience.

Working in call centers is tough for anyone. They have notoriously high turnover because of job stress. On the phone, people are much more likely to be rude or mean because they do not have to face you. If you are sensitive or anxious it can be even more difficult. I have worked in two call center positions and I will never do it again. Both times, it triggered very bad episodes of anxiety. I withdrew for months. A few sessions of therapy helped me greatly last time.

On the other hand, I have found that face to face positions in the retail and financial service industries actually make me feel less anxious (once I am comfortable with the job itself). People are more likely to be patient with you, and some of them will go out of their way to be nice to you. It is very different from dealing with angry cable customers. I feel more competent and I get to practice talking to people. So maybe the start at Wal-mart (or wherever) idea is not so bad while you look for something that earns you enough to live on your own. If you can start with part time then you can ease yourself into it, and you will have a smaller hole in your resume.

You are not alone. Lots of people are looking for work right now. It's a tough economy. People who entered the workforce a couple of years ago had it much easier. And lots of young people switch jobs a couple of times before they find the right place for them. Some places just don't fit and that's okay. I hope the next place treats you better and you like it more. It is hard looking for work. I hope something turns up soon!

[ghosty72]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoira

Welcome to the site! I don't think you're whining at all. Sometimes it helps to get things out. I'm sorry that you are getting some criticism at home. That must be very discouraging. Graduating from college is a great accomplishment. It shows you are smart, work hard, and follow through. Those are skills that will help you on the job, even if you don't have much experience.

Working in call centers is tough for anyone. They have notoriously high turnover because of job stress. On the phone, people are much more likely to be rude or mean because they do not have to face you. If you are sensitive or anxious it can be even more difficult. I have worked in two call center positions and I will never do it again. Both times, it triggered very bad episodes of anxiety. I withdrew for months. A few sessions of therapy helped me greatly last time.

On the other hand, I have found that face to face positions in the retail and financial service industries actually make me feel less anxious (once I am comfortable with the job itself). People are more likely to be patient with you, and some of them will go out of their way to be nice to you. It is very different from dealing with angry cable customers. I feel more competent and I get to practice talking to people. So maybe the start at Wal-mart (or wherever) idea is not so bad while you look for something that earns you enough to live on your own. If you can start with part time then you can ease yourself into it, and you will have a smaller hole in your resume.

You are not alone. Lots of people are looking for work right now. It's a tough economy. People who entered the workforce a couple of years ago had it much easier. And lots of young people switch jobs a couple of times before they find the right place for them. Some places just don't fit and that's okay. I hope the next place treats you better and you like it more. It is hard looking for work. I hope something turns up soon!

Thanks OrangeMoira, it's so nice to be able to talk to someone who actually listens. I feel so alone, especially now that my family is angry with me constantly. I've filled out many applications, signed up with several temp agencies, but nothing seems to be coming my way. I can't believe that the only option I've had this year is to work at a cable company. It just breaks my heart that I threw away what is probably my only work option for this entire year.

[PsychoRed]

I'm new too. I'm not sure how this works lol. Anyways, I'm 17 and I dunno where I'm going in life. Maybe we could help eachother out. :P

ghosty
First be you ....try not to compare you to others
panic attacks are hard...they can take over your mind for a bit
try when they hit to focus on something else
even if its staring out te window
Know it will pass
your not alone with ppl getting out of collage and trying to find a job
Know that the cable company job must not have been right at the time
you may be able to go back to it...something will come your way have faith
muffy

[ghosty72]

I had an interview with a bookstore for a part-time position. I thought it went really well, but they said the assistant manager would call me back for a second interview. It hasn't happened yet, so I'm beginning to think it will not.

I'm beginning to think I should just join the Navy. I'm in excellent physical health & I would be guaranteed a job for four years, plus benefits. Plus, they would pay my student loans. So, at age 28/29, I could be debt free & have some job experience, at least enough to get me a better paying job than I can have now.

[e_sort]

hi ghosty,

i know where you're coming from. i got a job in a field that at the end of the day i really couldn't cope with. then i got another. i changed jobs a lot (it was the late 90s and i was a tech worker, so this was easy then). i regret this now because it made my immaturity very obvious, and some of them were really objectively good jobs.

what i did was go to grad school in a different field. i'm almost done now. i wouldn't say it's for everyone, but i grew up a lot in that time, learned to handle working relationships and responsibility somewhat better, and got to know what i needed better.

i don't know about the navy specifically, or the military at all actually, but for me it was helpful to have more structure in what felt like a f--- up period of my life. like a do-over. i think a 4 or 5 year program in something, military or grad school or peace corps or whatever, can be useful to straighten yourself out.

i just want to tell you also not to be too hard on yourself. you feel like you're the only one in this position, and you are NOT, not by a long shot. you will come through and be fine. the 20s are rough for everyone who isn't a single-minded boring work freak.

[Sannah]

Ghosty, have you considered therapy?