 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jan 24, 2009, 07:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have this bad habit of cancelling appointments, meetings, gatherings..etc with ppl. At first when the "meeting" is set I am all excited and then as the days ... hours come closer I panic and back out of it.
How do I get beyond this way of being?   
|
|
#2
Jan 24, 2009, 08:26 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((((( zen )))))))))))))))))
I had this problem a few years ago and the way that I conquered it was when I started therapy I made a promise to myself that I would go unless I was ill or the roads were dangerous to travel, it was hard to keep at it but eventually it helped me keep all my appointments. 
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
 Zen888
|
|
#3
Jan 24, 2009, 08:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I completely overstand this feeling. My friends must hate me by now for constantly saying "let's hang" and then backing out at the last minute. I am not sure how to get beyond this as I just started T and she is helping me. Maybe you need to start with the thoughts that go through your mind when you decide to cancel your engagements? My T wanted me to start with that and then use "wisemind" technique to change the thought processes. Im kind of resistant right now...im just stubborn and i dont really feel like putting the effort into it...LOL. But I am hoping I will get there. Good luck! It's really hard I know, but you will get beyond this. --LLT 
|
| Zen888
|
|
#4
Jan 24, 2009, 09:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I feel ashamed and embrassed. I didn't tell the truth to a friend of mine that I made through college. I was suppose to attend church with her this evening but instead 3 or so hours before I was suppose to meet up with her I paniced and left a voice message saying that I stayed out late the night before (which is true) and that I have a head ache (which isnt true). I also said that I would call her Sunday to talk.
I feel horrible. 
|
|
#5
Jan 24, 2009, 09:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((zen)))
So shame and embarrassment...how do you think your friend would react if you told the truth? what do you think would happen? What other thoughts go through your head when you decide to cancel appointments or engagements? What thoughts create the panic?? Do you think or feel like all eyes are on you? do you worry about what people will think about you personality wise or appearance wise? My T tries to get me to sit with the thoughts--figure out where they come from and then try to see that maybe what i am thinking might be logical and then tries to get me to find another way of thinking about the situation.Which is very hard. I have been this way for a very very long time. --LLT
|
|
#6
Jan 24, 2009, 09:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think it's called anticipatory anxiety. I would suggest not beating yourself up for your behavior. Accept yourself and love yourself first no matter what you do with the appointment. It's something you feel you need to do to cope with life. Your T will help you to figure it out, but in the mean time, be good to yourself. Don't worry about the others.
|
|
#7
Jan 25, 2009, 10:48 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Listen carefully to what your head says about why you shouldn't go through with something and it will tell you what your fears are. Once you are aware and understand what the fears are, you can challenge them (are they real or just your thoughts), and you can also decide to go even though you are feeling anxious. It takes time to work on things like this so give yourself lots of time and practice and do not judge, simply make observations about your feelings and fears with an attitude of welcoming this new information about the complex person that is you.
|
| Sannah
|
|
#8
Jan 25, 2009, 12:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
(((Zen888))) Do yourself a favour and read the book "Triumph over fear" by Jerilyn Ross. It provides a lot of insight and practical help. Take care.
|
| Zen888
|
|
#9
Jan 26, 2009, 12:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I like the title to this thread. What are you doing to wrestle the control back?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#10
Jan 26, 2009, 02:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm trying everything from medication to meditation to listing my cognitive distortions...
If you have suggestions on how to combat anxiety levels and paranoia please tell me! |
|
#11
Jan 26, 2009, 02:20 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I always advocate the get to the source that is causing it approach, no bandaids..........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
