[PinUpGal]

I have extreme anxiety and probably some more stuff going on that hasn't been diagnosed. It started at about four after being raped for a year by a neighbor and watching my mom go through stage 3 breast cancer but I didn’t start seeing a therapist until the age of ten who put me on anti depressants which didn't work since I was still in the ER almost once a week because I thought I was dying of something (I went once because I had a nose bleed and swore to the doctor that I was dying of Ebola). After my father died at 16 it just got worse so I went to a new Doc who after meeting me for literally 5 minutes and giving me a survey to fill out told my mother I was bipolar and put me on massive amounts of meds. I took myself off of them when I was 18 against his advice because I didn't feel anything anymore. I gained a bunch of weight and I walked through life in a fog. I was never happy, sad, or scared which got me into a lot of trouble because I was doing things that I would never normally do. After my last pregnancy a different doctor put me on Effexor and that completely screwed me up so I took a vow that I would never again try medication for my anxiety.

The problem is I am scared of everything, well everything that could potentially lead to my death whether it's now or when I am 100. It keeps me in the house for weeks on end and when I do have to go out I get so scared that I make myself sick. I have put off going to college or to banks because "what if someone goes ballistic and starts shooting?" (I will literally walk into a place and look for the person most likely to be the one who has a gun and leave once I pick them out), I haven't driven in years because I don't want to be that girl who takes her driving test and rolls out in to oncoming traffic or god forbid do something to embarrass myself like fail the test or get sick in the car, etc. Some days I feel like I have just gone completely nuts, I will make my husband take a bite of food if he cooked it to make sure he didn't poison it and I always feel like I am going to die at any given moment whether it's from a sickness or some cancer I never knew I had, hell I have even been scared that a plane will crash into my house or that the Earth will suddenly just stop spinning. It would actually be kind of comical if it wasn't so scary to me.

Anyways, the point is, I am really trying to get past it. I registered for classes to get my BA in Psychology at my local college, (online to start, I started regular classes once before and I dropped out because of all the people), but I did have to go in to take a few tests on Friday. I got the highest marks possible which is interesting because the whole time I was stuck in a room with about 10 other people and I kept thinking that any moment someone was going to pull out a gun, and I am going to take my driving test tomorrow which is already making me feel ill. My family thinks that I am lazy and that's the reason that I can't hold down a job or why I haven't finished school but it's so hard to explain to them that it's not just about being nervous, I completely panic. So while I am trying as of this past week, I want to make sure that I don't let the anxiety or whatever this is get the best of me and stop classes once I have to actually go to the school or get my license but never drive anywhere. Has anyone ever dealt with severe anxiety without pills? How do you stop that feeling like you just need to run out of the place that you are scared of? I tried telling myself that I am being irrational and breathing through it but even a trip to the grocery store is hell for me and all that I want is to lead a normal life and be able to go places with my children without telling them that we have to go as soon as we get there. I can deal with feeling like I am going to die at home and obsessing about how it will happen but if I could just stop being so scared of the outside world I think it would make me a healthier person in general. Any advice or experiences with this would be greatly appreciated!

[pachyderm]

I have improved my anxiety over the years without medications (since they never worked for me). It has taken a long time and been quite a struggle, but slowly, slowly, then slightly faster, and now faster still, I am improving and learning more about myself and what the panic comes from. I try to use the kind of mindfulness in which you just "listen" to whatever emotion your mind is occupied with, trying not to suppress any emotion, just letting it be there and trying to understand it. Not judging fear to be wrong as I was taught that it was, but letting it be there and studying it as best I can. It (along with reading and the people of Psych Central) is the only thing that works for me, as hard as it is -- and the reward is understanding.

[Sannah]

I recovered from anxiety without any medication. It is all about self-understanding and figuring out why you are the way you are and what you need to do about it.

I think that anxiety is set in us from an early age. If you grew up in an insecure environment you are going to be anxious. You can get better by understanding how you developed and how you can make yourself secure.

[olamaja]

I am in the process of dealing wit anxiety and not using any medications. Its not always easy, and their are days when I wish my body would just be able to take something and not cause me to get more sick. However, I have found that by not takeing anything, I deal better with the attacks when they come.

My therapist has suggested Valerian Root. Its a natural alternative to medications. Really calms your nerves, and dosent make you feel out of it at all. Also, if you cant sleep, it helps.

You can do this! Its going to take some time, patients and practice, but it gets better as you learn what to expect.

[ickydog2006]

I know from others that there can be success in overcoming some anxiety without medication.. however, I was not one of those people. I know I couldn't live a 'normal' life without meds. I was able to overcome some OCD things without meds but was unable to change my panic disorder and overall my OCD was completely out of control.

[Rmdctc]

I have had social anxiety and depression since I was 8. When I was 10 I went on meds and was on them until 15 then went off because I felt it wasn't helping. Now, at 20 i'm back on them and it really helps me. When I wasn't on meds I felt lost and crazy. (Still crazy, but not as much) I am pro-meds now because of going though being on and off of them. I think it's easier to deal with things when i'm on meds.

[Sannah]

Therapy is the only way to cure anxiety, however (cure meaning no symptoms and no more treatment).

[ECHOES]

Sannah said:

It is all about self-understanding and figuring out why you are the way you are and what you need to do about it.

Great post

Yes, I am currently getting better without regular meds although I do have a med to use if needed. I need it so rarely it's often months between very light doses.