[Rhapsody]

To make a long story short..... my niece, a single mother of four, is mentally at the end of her rope with her oldest son that is seven very angry and dx with ADHD and Emotional Issue's - the child is presently in counseling and lately he has been acting out physically toward the mother due to his anger and she is afraid that he may actually hurt her or one of his younger siblings.

HOW do other single parents handle the stress and some times fear that comes along with an angry adhd child?

He is on Adderall(sp) 10 mg 2x a day and will be seeing his doctor tomorrow about changing to a new medicine as this one does not seem to be helping... in mom's opinion it actually seems to have made him worse.

[Rhapsody]

P.S.
His doctor deemed the Adderall to be the source of his angry outburst and changed him to Focalin 5mg once a day.... if this does not work then the psychiatrists he see's once a month to get his meds will look into possible emotional mood disorders along with his adhd.

Still waitng to hear from the parents (family members) of how you all deal with an out of control child that has ADD/ADHD...... come on I know there are a few of you on here at pc.

[lynn P.]

Hi Rhapsody,
I'm the mom of 2 girls 7 & 11 and thank God they're both welll adjusted kids. It's good the doctor is listening and is trying another medication. I heard of a good book called 'Parenting The Defiant Child' - you might want to look into that.
I also saw an incredibly interesting show the other day. This teacher works at a school on an Indian reservation and many of the children there have various learning and behavior problems. The teacher read a book called Spark -sorry I don't know the author. Anyway this doctor believes that vigorous regular exercise changes brain chemistry and causes new neuro transmitters to form in the brain. So this teacher set up a school workout room and started all the kids on regular exercise. After 6 months evry single student improved in all areas of learning and particularly behaviors problems improved drastically. Many of the kids on the reservation have parents who suffer drug and alcohol abuse.
So my recommendation for your neice's son is to get him into regular physical exercise. Experts say that this upcoming generation, may not live as long as their parents because they spend too much time on computers, video games and not eating healthy food. I also high recommend getting him into martial arts(my daughter takes it) - this will help him get out his physical aggression and also teach him to discipline himself. Hopefully you will get some responses from other parents who's chidren have ADHD. Best of luck.

[AAAAA]

This very well might be a medication or diet issue. I would have her talk to the doctor about allergy testing. Many children have allergies to things like wheat, milk etc and it can manifest itself as a behavioral issue. My eldest had severe ADHD but it was never an excuse for bad behavior, poor impulse control sure, but he was still held responsible for his own behavior. He was an absolutely wonderful caring child. At the time he was on Ritalin, a very small dose. After being on it for a few years it became ineffective and his doctor at the time decided to put him on Prozac for the sole purpose of making the Ritalin be more effective. I didn’t understand how an antidepressant would do that, but figured he knew what he was doing.

My sweet, caring, considerate child turned into an absolute monster. He had been such a loving person, always considered his little sister his baby and spoiled her rotten. We were renovating at the time and he took a hardwood pole for the closet and cracked her over the head with it, HARD. I was so stunned, he’d never shown any violent tendencies in the past, quite the opposite. We took him off the Prozac and the son I knew returned.

[lynn P.]

I agree with AAAAA that his diet should be looked at and test him for allergies. Have her cut out high processed foods, junk foods and pop.

Theres a diet called the free food diet, its cutting out everything that can cause problems ie tomatoes oranges coloured toothpaste etc.

You then after a few weeks of this try to introduce food to try and find out what is causing the problems.

If I could go back to the start with one of my sons I would stop all meds and use the word NO and mean it. I would put him in his room everytime he messed up with me and I would talk and listen to him more as well rather than just the Drs.

I would enter him into as many clubs and sports as I could, and take advantage of family members (that I trust) to take him out to places ie skate parks or museums you name it take him to it.

I would also try to keep him seperate from the other children as much as possible as well and unclutter his bedroom. Take out the things he really does not need in there toys he dosnt play with.

I would play soft music in the house as often as I could cope with it and have a music station in his room so he could go to bed with the radio on (if he has sleeping problems)

I would only attack one thing at a time with him like the hitting and when I had that under control I would then move onto somthing else. I wouldnt worry so much about other people either.

I would put him in a different school to his siblings so they get a complete break from him as they deserve time to themselves too.

[AAAAA]

We tried the diet therapy with my oldest son for his ADHD. I had a menu from the doctor as to what he was to eat, which foods would be added etc. I confess that I was relieved when after several months there was no change in his behavior. We also followed the diet and it was not easy. We did discover that he could not have professionally processed apples in any form. He could have fresh apples or homemade juice, but could not tolerate the processed ones. And oddly he could eat processed tomatoes (marinara sauce, ketchup, tomato paste / sauce) but could not eat them raw.

It is much easier these days to follow these diets if more expensive. You can actually find bread in the stores now that fit the criteria whereas I had to travel to get the ingredients from a health food store and make it myself. There are also the soy milk options available these days.

The processing our food goes through these days is not without a cost. I remember a friend going through a similar experience with her son at the same time. The diet did help her son and it was really a challenge to keep him on it. Eggs and milk really had an effect on his personality; which of course he LOVED. Things have gotten better these days because she’s discovered that organic foods (specifically eggs and milk in this case) were much more tolerable for him.

[Rhapsody]

Thanks for all the good information.... his diet is being addressed and mom started him a in Taekwondo class over the summer per his counselor - we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Hi Rapsody,

The Book of Lists I posted about is full of exersizes for parents and teachers on how to modulate behaviors that are common with having ADHD.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=112872

This book was recomended to me by a child psychologist who has worked with ADHD Boys for over twenty years.

The criteria and symptoms for ADHD males is different than for females . I read the list and was stunned . In fact I believe I was a victium of some ADHD boy bullies growing up.

ADHD can have serious concequences if not treated and it can easily effects ones self esteem . And it can make for a "challenging" family life.

Having a parent angry and resentful and at wits end does not mirror to the child much hope about themselves . Yet thats what it can evoke in a care giver or a friend.

Theres is are a couple of pages on calming de-escalation which is very common with ADHD and dificult to moderate I think . Mood fluctuations are a big part of ADHD . I believe it goes along with the shifting mind . One can shift from happy sad fearful in a matter of minutes depending on where the mind is focused.

Awareness helps. I'm working on how I feel when others interupt my Flow that can go on and on and on and not feel shame as a result of thier interupting me. I can get hurt , feel shame and embarassment and possibly angry .

Coming up with ones own modulating coping skills is alot more helpful than having them imposed and gives a sense of self mastery if thats posible.
People with ADHD are quite creative and can come up with solutions for thier difficulties when asked to.

A balance of looking at the positives that goes with ADHD as well as the not so great is gonna help with the anger and hurt and shame that can result for lack of impulse control and just not being understood.

Patricia

[SunnyA]

Originally Posted by Tishie

Theres a diet called the free food diet, its cutting out everything that can cause problems ie tomatoes oranges coloured toothpaste etc.

You then after a few weeks of this try to introduce food to try and find out what is causing the problems.

If I could go back to the start with one of my sons I would stop all meds and use the word NO and mean it. I would put him in his room everytime he messed up with me and I would talk and listen to him more as well rather than just the Drs.

I would enter him into as many clubs and sports as I could, and take advantage of family members (that I trust) to take him out to places ie skate parks or museums you name it take him to it.

I would also try to keep him seperate from the other children as much as possible as well and unclutter his bedroom. Take out the things he really does not need in there toys he dosnt play with.

I would play soft music in the house as often as I could cope with it and have a music station in his room so he could go to bed with the radio on (if he has sleeping problems)

I would only attack one thing at a time with him like the hitting and when I had that under control I would then move onto somthing else. I wouldnt worry so much about other people either.

I would put him in a different school to his siblings so they get a complete break from him as they deserve time to themselves too.

Colored toothpaste... God bless you!! I'd thought I'd rooted out all sources of food coloring in my kids' diets and could not figure out why they'd still have defiant/violent outbursts that usually come along with food coloring. It never even occurred to me to consider their tooth paste & mouth wash because they spit it out!! It's worth a try. Thank you!

[carrasquillo95]

Hi.... I read your post, and I can give some advice as a parent who has been there, done that, and still am.....

My son was first diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7, and was put on Adderall. This gave him a violent reaction... so after several months of trying to cope... he was taken off and given concerta, which worked best for him. Little did I know that the violent reaction that the adderall was given him was a sign of Bi-polar w/ADHD? This was an evaluation by a neurologist and psychiatrist.

My son was taking concerta up to 76mg for a while, but then his body got used it, and and it stop working for him. He has now been on Vyvanse, 70mg for 2 years. My son is now in the 7th grade. I can honestly say that this has worked so much better for him. There are still struggles because of his bi-polar and his ADHD, but we get through it.

PLEASE.... have your niece get a second opinion. Not all dr's think the same. I hope this helps!

D.

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

To make a long story short..... my niece, a single mother of four, is mentally at the end of her rope with her oldest son that is seven very angry and dx with ADHD and Emotional Issue's - the child is presently in counseling and lately he has been acting out physically toward the mother due to his anger and she is afraid that he may actually hurt her or one of his younger siblings.

HOW do other single parents handle the stress and some times fear that comes along with an angry adhd child?

He is on Adderall(sp) 10 mg 2x a day and will be seeing his doctor tomorrow about changing to a new medicine as this one does not seem to be helping... in mom's opinion it actually seems to have made him worse.

[Kiya]

I have also learned there is gluten in toothpaste, Advil, Tylenol... even mental health meds. that stuff creeps into everything. Huge help for ADD/ADHD getting them off gluten.