[honeybee64]

Hi! I was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago and have been slowly coming to terms with it. I also suffer from some anxiety and in the past went through a bout of depression. I now understand that the anxiety and depression were tied to the ADD. Prior to me being diagnosed, my oldest son was diagnosed with ADD and Aspergers, although sometimes I question the Asperger diagnosis. Recently my 2nd son was diagnosed with ADD and now I know that my husband has it also, although he's never been formally diagnosed. He's gone to therapy with me exactly twice and my therapist really feels he needs seperate sessions to work on his issues before we can work on the marriage. He's very busy with work and can't seem to get himself "out from under" long enough to see that he NEEDS to get help. Our marriage has suffered greatly from all of this and I can't seem to get him to understand this. He can't think about anything else but his job and I understand now that it's not that he doesn't want to, but that he just CAN'T! He doesn't know how! I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for with this post but it just feels good to vent it out - I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on to everything. He is away on business right now and I feel so much less stress! He normally works from home so I get a full dose of him on a daily basis. The problem is that I am working very hard on myself so it's hard to help him. I feel like we are both hanging on by a thread and neither one of us can do anything for the other. Sorry for this long post, I'll stop now - lol!

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by honeybee64

Hi! I was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago and have been slowly coming to terms with it. I also suffer from some anxiety and in the past went through a bout of depression. I now understand that the anxiety and depression were tied to the ADD. Prior to me being diagnosed, my oldest son was diagnosed with ADD and Aspergers, although sometimes I question the Asperger diagnosis. Recently my 2nd son was diagnosed with ADD and now I know that my husband has it also, although he's never been formally diagnosed. He's gone to therapy with me exactly twice and my therapist really feels he needs seperate sessions to work on his issues before we can work on the marriage. He's very busy with work and can't seem to get himself "out from under" long enough to see that he NEEDS to get help. Our marriage has suffered greatly from all of this and I can't seem to get him to understand this. He can't think about anything else but his job and I understand now that it's not that he doesn't want to, but that he just CAN'T! He doesn't know how! I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for with this post but it just feels good to vent it out - I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on to everything. He is away on business right now and I feel so much less stress! He normally works from home so I get a full dose of him on a daily basis. The problem is that I am working very hard on myself so it's hard to help him. I feel like we are both hanging on by a thread and neither one of us can do anything for the other. Sorry for this long post, I'll stop now - lol!

Oh hon! You are going through quite a bit!

I was diagnosed in August as Inattentive ADHD after my 9 year old daughter was. I started Adderall and working with a life coach who specializes in ADHD. We find out the results of my 6 year old daughter's evaluations tomorrow morning.

My husband is NOT ADHD and has had a hard time understanding it. I too had a hard time until I started working with my Coach and researching it. I had dealt with depression and anxiety over half my life and knew about all I could know about those issues. My coach even remarked in an email to me "If I was giving out awards for the most dedicated and determined coaching client – you’d win for sure!"

It's hard to face truths about one's self. Hang in there the best you can! If you think any of my experiences or things I've learned recently can help, please PM me!

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by theotterone

"...Oh look, a chicken!"

LOL
My practitioner has a book titled "All Dogs Have ADHD." I don't know why, but I thought that was relevant... (ADHD, lol).

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by honeybee64

Hi! I was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago and have been slowly coming to terms with it. I also suffer from some anxiety and in the past went through a bout of depression. I now understand that the anxiety and depression were tied to the ADD. Prior to me being diagnosed, my oldest son was diagnosed with ADD and Aspergers, although sometimes I question the Asperger diagnosis. Recently my 2nd son was diagnosed with ADD and now I know that my husband has it also, although he's never been formally diagnosed. He's gone to therapy with me exactly twice and my therapist really feels he needs seperate sessions to work on his issues before we can work on the marriage. He's very busy with work and can't seem to get himself "out from under" long enough to see that he NEEDS to get help. Our marriage has suffered greatly from all of this and I can't seem to get him to understand this. He can't think about anything else but his job and I understand now that it's not that he doesn't want to, but that he just CAN'T! He doesn't know how! I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for with this post but it just feels good to vent it out - I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on to everything. He is away on business right now and I feel so much less stress! He normally works from home so I get a full dose of him on a daily basis. The problem is that I am working very hard on myself so it's hard to help him. I feel like we are both hanging on by a thread and neither one of us can do anything for the other. Sorry for this long post, I'll stop now - lol!

I think if he worked as hard on his personal problems in the marriage as he did at his money-job, he'd probably be a clairvoyant!

Look, I don't think you should shoulder the burden of trying to "fix" anyone else but yourself. You should really talk to your therapist about how to approach your husband so that he understands what dire straights you two are really in.

So how are you dealing with your ADHD and other problems? Individual therapy and meds, or? If you haven't really found a therapist who has experience and training to deal with adult ADHD, I think you should get one ASAP---and also discuss medication options so that you can consider them in conjunction with therapy. You can at least make yourself feel better and get more together to help you deal with the stress of your husband in a more productive, calmer way.

It can't be easy raising two ADHD boys, let alone dealing with your own issues.