[imatter2]

how do I know when or if I need to get them evaluated? My oldest (haha, at first my fingers typed 'oddest') son is the daydreamer type and would probably never arouse suspicion of ADD at school (he lacks the hyperactivity part) but that doesn't mean it won't affect him. Still I hesitate to label him just the same as I hesitate to hold off on an assessment. Conflicted.

My younger son is only 6, sometimes I think too young and maturity-challenged to be truly diagnosed. And yet he's got several classic hallmarks going on as well.

I wasn't recognized until my 30s and I know the struggles I faced both in school and socially could have been greatly reduced if I'd been properly treated back then. I want to avoid that same thing for my kids yet just feel so unsure! Feedback is welcome and will be appreciated, thank you!

to add to my post, my husband also thinks our younger son has ADHD or "something" as he says, but he tosses it out mostly when he's frustrated. Ticks me right off lol. But if even husband recognizes it and knows it has a name, it makes me think that much more that it's a distinct thing to think about. Also, none of my younger sons teachers have ever mentioned behavior or social problems in the school setting (he's been in "school" 3.5 years if you count his academic preschool - he's now in first grade). This makes me wonder if he behaves and does well at school and what we see at home is the release that comes from being at home and comfortable to just let loose, you know?

Dang, this parenting thing is HARD!!

[Perna]

I would discuss your concerns with teachers and other adults your children know/work with (sports coaches, group leaders, etc.) and listen to complaints from your kids. I think it use to be harder when we were kids because there were less options and parents weren't as educated so our own childish complaints were "heard" differently. It could be that you are being over-sensitive in the same way (I'm not saying you are, just pointing out that it's easy to see what we experience in the experience of others when it's not necessarily there). When your children get old enough to understand what school is all about, ask them what you could do to "help" or if they would like help with reading, writing, organization, etc. Sometimes just a little attention from another direction helps (did me in 9th grade, my mother got a "tutor" for me for French and that older girl coming once a week did wonders in many aspects of my life).