[Immortality]

Hi guys,
I am very new here and i've got a question that maybe some of you will be able to answer. I am going throught a process of being diagnosed with ADD. My question is related to relationships. I am currently involved with a guy (for a long time now) and it seems to really frastrate him sometimes when my ADD symptoms act up. One of the things that i can't get right is how to say NO properly. It seems like over the years he kinda got used to me doing everything and now he gets upset when i start saying no. After reading quite a bit about ADD i realized that it's what a lot of women do and i have to learn to deal with it but i can't. i just can't say a proper no and give up to soon. that also has to do with work also...if anyone has any ideas PLEASE let me know
i appreciate any advice...

[LostandLonleySoul]

Well I have ADD so does my step-mom, dad, and best friend. I asked them (with out knowing the reasons)and they said the same thing (which I agree with) try it out. people are sometimes are in shock when all of a sudden they can't "walk all over you" anymore. One thing you can try is to ease them into things. Don't just leave it at no. Give some justification. Try saying not right now, I just really can't see doing........,I have......to do, stuff like that. Hope these suggestions help.
~me~

[(JD)]

Welcome to psychcentral! It is always a persons perogative to say no, whether it's always been ok or not! Maybe by writing down your feeings about this will help you find the words next time? And if that doesn't work, then write them TO him and let him read them. If he still plays dumb, then I would tell him NO permanently! You gotta take care of YOU, and right now it sounds like you need extra care. Be well.

[DougInPA]

Sounds pretty normal based on your potentially forthcoming diagnosis. My wife who has the same problem helped me to learn that part of what she deals with is that the first thing to come to mind often is the first thing out her mouth. This isn't always a bad thing but mix in a dose of emotion, what is said can easily not be what is intended...there's a shocker for anyone! What she learned to do is to stop before she speaks...that combined with my understanding (read acceptance) of her makes it generally work out. i'd love to tell you I am always able to do this, but with practice its very possible.

Good Luck,

Doug

[INaBOX]

Instead of saying no, can you rephrase it? What exactly are you saying no to?