[faerie_moon_x]

Hello,

My husband has been diagnosed with Adult ADD and his brother has had an ADD diagnosis since his was a teen. Now my son is five years old and I'm starting to think it is passed down. For anyone who had childhood ADHD does this sound familiar:

1) He has trouble paying attention when we talk to him, constantly changing the subject or looking around (but not right at you,) and then asking questions about completely unrelated topics or jumping topics very quickly. For example, Me: "Are you having fun playing your game?" Him: "Giraffes are really tall. I like giraffes. Can I have some milk?"

2) Once he gets going he doesn't stop until he collapses. It is almost impossible to calm him down. He is jumping up and down constantly racing around the house. Jumping on furniture. Screaming and making random noises. Unable to sit still and play with one toy for more than a minute or two. He has always been a "rocker." When he was smaller (2-3) he would sit on the couch rocking and rolling cars back and forth while watching t.v.

3) He is completely unable to focus on his homework (yes, he has homework.) He gets bored almost instantly and instead of writing his letters or numbers he starts making them odd shapes, scribbling on the pages, or complaining he's tired (although then he runs off like the Tasmanian devil.) He also is unable to pick up toys because he gets distracted after one or two toys and forgets what he is doing. He only sticks to activities if he is really, really interested in them.

5) Repetition, repetition, repetition. He will get one word or a series of words or noises and repeat them over and over and you can't get him to stop. Since he's five this tends to be words like "toilet" or "fart" or burping or spitting (raspberries) because he thinks it is funny.

6) He doesn't respond to correction. He continues to do the same things over and over. We have tried time outs, taking favorite toys, grounding him from activities like t.v. or games. We go over and over again and again what the rules are but it is like he never hears. We go over the rules over and over again. Also he doesn't listen. Telling him to stop, time out, etc doesn't stop the behavior he just seems to get more and more hyper and more and more defiant.

I also have a nine year old son and he has never been this way, which is why I'm curious. I don't just want to run off to the doctor with my concerns just yet. I was curious what others who have had ADD or ADHD a long time might think.

Sorry this is long! Thanks

[jestlani]

my daughter and son is the same way, but they are 3 and 2. and it drives me crazy because idk if they have it or not. their father has had add since he was 3 and my little brother had adhd since he was 7. it drives me crazy because i will as my daughter a question and she looks at me like i am crazy. my kids r always on the go, they get into everything and anything. i disaplin them and nolater than 3 minutes they are doing the same thing. they cannot pay attention ask a million and one questions and just talk my ears off. sit them down to watch tv or draw, they get up and chase the dog or go into the fridge. it is driving me crazy. i want to get them tested, but at the same time i do not want them to be a guinny pig...any ideas on how to go about?

[AniManiac]

1, 2, and 3 sound like pretty typical ADHD behavior to me. Don't know what happened to 4!

5 strikes me as pretty normal for most young kids - all my brothers did this. Then again, the two genetically related to me were also diagnosed with ADHD. My non-ADHD stepbrother was right along with them in terms of silly repetition, though.

6 could be related to multiple types of things. Sounds very much like ADHD behavior, but could also be flat-out personality differences, etc. My mom always said all three of her kids were polar opposites, so it should come as little surprise that your 9-yo and 5-yo are completely different!

It sounds like you have reason to keep your eye on this. There's a known genetic component and you're seeing some behavior issues. Those could be related to ADHD or any number of other things - he might just be "high spirited" so to speak, or he could have allergies that cause this kind of behavior (I have a cousin whose allergy to Red Dye #5 made him act pretty wild), or I'm sure there are other possible explanations.

If you're not having too difficult of a time controlling him and he's not causing major problems, IMHO (and I'm not a doctor!) you should ride it out as long as you can before running to the doctor. I'm sure you know that ADHD is considered way, way overdiagnosed. It could be stuff that your son outgrows, or related to other issues, or it could actually be ADHD. If he's not struggling in school, having social problems, or other issues, it's probably OK to just keep an eye on it for now. If it seems to be causing him or others distress, that's the time to go to the docs. I found that ADHD treatment helps me sleep better, interact better with the rest of the world, and work better - huge relief for me on all counts - but it wasn't really a problem for me until I was about 19, so I didn't get diagnosed or treated until I was 22!

[faerie_moon_x]

Yes, thanks to you both!

jestlani - Yes, that's exactly it. I get him to stop misbehavior and then five minutes later he's doing it again.

AniManiac- haha... my bipolar ate #4, that's what happened. -.- Anyway, I completely agree that I do not want to take him to the doctor just now. I really don't want to put him on medicine or give him a diagnosis at such a young age. I am just feeling so overwhelmed by him due to me having bipolar also, I get frustrated so fast.

He is having some trouble in school. He's very smart, but because he can't focus on his homework his report card said he's doing poorly on it. Also doing poorly on in-class work and not getting things done. Homework that should take 15-20 minutes maximum (it is mostly just writing letters and numbers, in repetition, which he knows really well,) can take 2 hours due his inability to focus. Really this is the thing that concerns me most, even if he drives me up a wall.

Ironically in public (such as the store or restaurant) he's really well behaved and just asks a million questions or explaining everything he sees. But, when things interest him he's able to focus more, and he loves to go shopping and he likes being out.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

He is having some trouble in school. He's very smart, but because he can't focus on his homework his report card said he's doing poorly on it. Also doing poorly on in-class work and not getting things done. Homework that should take 15-20 minutes maximum (it is mostly just writing letters and numbers, in repetition, which he knows really well,) can take 2 hours due his inability to focus. Really this is the thing that concerns me most, even if he drives me up a wall.

OK, so that is absolutely typical of people with ADHD - really smart but doesn't perform well due to inattention. If you get diagnosed as an adult, that is one of the first things they ask about - how well you did in school. I was a perfect student grade-wise but that didn't mean I didn't have attention problems!

You'll definitely watch this very carefully. You don't want him getting behind on the actual content of the classroom learning because that gets compounded over time and can also cause emotional problems if he's always behind.

It might be worth seeing if there are other ways for him to learn the content without doing worksheets or really repetitive exercises - not only is that hard with ADHD, but it's really really hard if you're too darn smart for the work you're being asked to do! My guess is that the design of classwork and homework follows a traditional and uninspired model of teaching that simply doesn't work well for people with different ways of learning - and that's not something that can be easily addressed by anyone other than the teacher (but good luck on getting them to adopt different educational techniques to support the full range of learning styles...)

If there are other alternate arrangements available, he might do better (without a dx/medication) in a non-traditional learning environment. Montessori schools, charter schools, and some public schools with special programs can be a huge improvement for people who don't do well with worksheets and lectures. Unfortunately, that's probably an issue that's going to be a challenge for a long time, so it might really be worth considering non-traditional alternatives and looking up if there's anything available in your area - enrichment programs and study skills workshops may be really valuable when he gets a bit older.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, because he's in kindergarden, right now class is still pretty open and not really lecture style, which is good. We can't afford the alternative schools, unfortunately. He knows all of his numbers and letters pretty good. Still learning some of the harder ones like "h" and "f" etc. Still working out which letters are what shape. So I know he needs to practice. Also he needs to practice his penmenship (like for all letters and numbers.) They give us this huge packet at the beginning of the week to be done by Friday. That's a challenge for both of us. >.> (Me with my disorganization and him with his attention.)

I am going to keep an eye on him, though. I am hoping that either, maybe he's just five and still getting used to school. But at the same time I know the genetics are there. So, I don't just want to dismiss, but I don't want to over react, either. I'm glad I asked, this is really helpful.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Well, because he's in kindergarden, right now class is still pretty open and not really lecture style, which is good. We can't afford the alternative schools, unfortunately. He knows all of his numbers and letters pretty good. Still learning some of the harder ones like "h" and "f" etc. Still working out which letters are what shape. So I know he needs to practice. Also he needs to practice his penmenship (like for all letters and numbers.) They give us this huge packet at the beginning of the week to be done by Friday. That's a challenge for both of us. >.> (Me with my disorganization and him with his attention.)

I am going to keep an eye on him, though. I am hoping that either, maybe he's just five and still getting used to school. But at the same time I know the genetics are there. So, I don't just want to dismiss, but I don't want to over react, either. I'm glad I asked, this is really helpful.

Sounds like a very sensible approach to me! Take it easy but keep an eye on things. There are lots of resources if you think it looks like he needs extra help.

[BlackCanary]

Hi, my son also was like this. He's still like this in 4th grade! Medication helps him now, but it's a lot of work to support him.
In kindergarten, definitely ask for help from the teacher on how to get homework done. Try doing 3-4 questions on a sheet, then 10 jumping jacks, or 60 seconds of running around the kitchen, it's like a reward. Or give him a koosh ball to squeeze in his hand while you work.
Also try other methods for learning - while the school may give you paper worksheets, you can get him wooden alphabet blocks or flash cards or an electronic alphabet game. These other ways may keep attention a bit better, esp. when you try different ways on different days.
My son also went to see the school counselor during kindergarten, maybe 2x a month - she played games with him to help re-enforce the concepts of following the rules.
At home will finally implemented 1-2-3 Magic and it has made a big difference with both our kids. We got the books and DVD from the library - I could only get my husband to watch the DVDs.

[RonPSH]

The greatest damage done to these kids is a very negative self image. They are always corrected, reprimanded, etc..., and that becomes habitual thinking in a negative way that something is wrong with them.

None of us knows who we are as kids and the opinions of others formulate that self image.

The combination of this negative self image, of the high intelligence and creativity that seems to be disrespected because neither is concerned with blind obedience, and of a society at large that doesn't understand this, leads to a tense life for the ADD'er and to escape tension all sorts of self destructive activities and substances may be consumed.

All because of a misunderstanding!

I see that joy in life happens innately when we can just be ourselves. That we have to be obedient to a culture first before we can just enjoy being alive is the driving force of the negative symptoms of ADD/ADHD in my experience.

I'm self healed through this awareness!

I truly love my gifts and respect my limits and that's all I can do in life. I can't ever modify my true nature, just come to "see" it and allow it.

Ron