[LMo]

We met with the ADD coach on Thursday evening. I think this will be helpful -- it won't solve the problem altogether, but it might be a good start.

My H was very tense prior to the appointment. He hadn't done anything all day (all week, really) and it looked to me as though he was slipping back into depression. Every night this week, I came home from work and he was in a foul mood; defensive and irritated. It was clear that he hadn't done anything so I guess I could see where the defensiveness came from. And god forbid I offer to help him plan his day -- that's a surefire way to make sure he doesn't do anything. It really has me in a catch-22 (which is, by the way, why I know I can't be his coach).

Anyway, I was worried that he'd carry his irritability in to the appointment with the coach, but it ended up working out well. He was a little nervous at the beginning and had some trouble articulating his answers to her questions, and he wouldn't look her in the eye and was fidgety. However, to both his credit and hers, by the end of the session, he was clearly much more comfortable with her and he admitted things to her that I've never heard him admit, even to me.

He expressed his anxiety about being in his early 30s and not having built a career yet. He also mentioned the disparity between his under-functioning and my over-functioning, and how it puts that much more pressure on him, contributing to his feelings of being overwhelmed. Wow! He's never said that before, even in therapy. He went on to say that he knows that he needs to make some changes otherwise he won't be able to dig himself out of his hole and find his path, and she seemed to give him some hope that she can help him do that. Cool!

She gave us a list of books to read and is recommending that he get a full-spectrum analysis done by a neuropsychologist. My H agrees that it would be a good idea to find out exactly what his strengths and limitations from a brain point of view are.

So my next step is to get the books and see what part of a neuropsychology evaluation his insurance will pay for.

I'm feeling cautiously good about this!