[(JD)]

I have a good acquaintance who is moving away this month. The stress of her moving has toppled her with heightened ADD reactions. This was never a subject of direct discussion in our history of friendship. I felt it was time for her to face the music, and since she is leaving, I went ahead and did it. She's old enough to be thinking about this, if nothing else.

I've become more and more frustrated with her acting out these last few months. She doesn't listen, she asks for repeats, she misunderstands etc...but the last few months it has become impossible to "work" with her on anything. I attribute it to the moving stressors.

So, on the phone, I finally said, V... I think the stress of moving has really overwhelmed your ADD medicine, have you talked to your MD about adjusting it?

She went ballistic, absolutely ballistic on me. She informed me she doesn't have ADD and she does listen and the reason NO ONE else understands her is because her mind is going a million miles a second because she is MENSA and graduated top of her class and her intelligence is why no one else can keep up with her. Oh my. sigh. I tried to calm her some, informed her that yes, I do believe her mind is going a million miles a second, and that intelligent people can and do have ADD.

I'm hoping, because it was me who said it, that she will at some point in her life be able to remember what I said, and when she isn't getting the responses and results she wants from others, she will read up on ADD and find something to help herself. sigh.

[BlueFaith]

Sometimes you have to tell friends things they don't want to hear. That's what a true friend does. I'm glad you were able to tell her, Sky. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Interesting topic, telling people about their disorder, whether it's ADD or other.
I finally had to tell a friend about his drinking problem and he did not like hearing it.
Everyone agreed he needed to be talked to, but he was never the same with me....and believe me, I was very diplomatic.
I just don't think it's possible to "communicate wisdom" in this regard....

[(JD)]

Sigh. Could be. That she is moving away was key to my "now or never" attitude...plus the fact that she was driving me to distraction with her non-addressing her increased symptomology (because she didn't recognize her disorder.) I hope when things settle, she'll realize that it came from me, and allow the statement to carry it's weight. I meant it for good for her... as she grows older I fear she will come up against it more and more, and hope she will have learned some compensating skills by then. Thanks for replies. (I saw her tonight, and it's like nothing happened...that's part of her disorder I think... can't concentrate and remember etc???)

[gardenergirl]

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_Sky said:
(I saw her tonight, and it's like nothing happened...that's part of her disorder I think... can't concentrate and remember etc???)

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Hmmm, that part doesn't sound like ADHD in my experience. But I'm glad that seeing her again was better than when she went ballistic.

gg

[(JD)]

Yes. I think she "moves on" from subjects she feels don't apply to her...I think she just doesn't "hear" such things to begin with? Her lack of focus is unbelievable to me... sigh.

She's a great person, really. Means well. She teaches kindergarten children, and that suits her I think because he own attention span isn't much longer than theirs? She is very creative, and that suits her well too...as artists are allowed to be... like she is....and few expect more from her. From the outside she appears to be quite capable... once someone tries to work with her on a task, they soon realize she can't do team work...can't follow directions,and surely can't delegate. sigh.

I just hope that after she moves, that something I said will come back to her and she will seek help so her life smoothes out for her. (She does have an up and down, questioning, never understanding why someone reacts the way they do...etc.)

sigh. I have rambled again. sorry. I've agreed to see her on the 17th to say a friend's goodbye.