Are any of you "perfectionists"?

I'm constantly called a perfectionist. It's almost like it's used as an insult though when I get comments such as, "don't be such a perfectionist" or "It's unhealthy to be that ****". I don't think I'm a perfectionist per se, I think organized is a better word for it. I make a lot of lists, I organize and then reorganize, and I get anxious when things aren't "perfect" or when I'm overwhelmed with my lists. For example, I would re-write my notes if my handwriting bothered me, I tab everything, and I color code everything. My professor said it's unhealthy but I just don't agree. What's wrong with being organized? It's just the way I learn. I have to do my system in order to learn and get everything done that needs doing and as long as I am getting done what I need to and learning then what is the issue? Are any of you like that?

Let me know if I should post this in a different section

[optimize990h]

Court_Knee, hi.

Perfectionists if they don't achieve their goals get depressed. High achievers are people who don't get depressed if their goals are not met. e.g. high achievers' grade on some subject is not perfect, the person is still satisfied with the results.

[astenon]

I certainly wouldn't say I'm a perfectionist or organised and I'm sure my desk at work would agree.

What I would say is that if it works for you then keep it up! You have a system that's done you well throughout your educational life, so there's no reason to change it just to please other people.

Re-writing notes is a memory aide, so if anyone moans about that, just tell them that you're revising by re-writing the notes.

Maybe your behaviour is a bit OCD, but as long as it doesn't rule your life that's not a problem at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being organised. Anyone that tells you different is probably jealous because they wish they had everything organised like you.

[BlueInanna]

Sounds like you've got a good system organizing. I would love to be so organized. Hopefully you aren't getting down on yourself when things aren't as organized as you'd like. That could be of concern.

[alicia1986]

Originally Posted by Court_Knee

Are any of you "perfectionists"?

I'm constantly called a perfectionist. It's almost like it's used as an insult though when I get comments such as, "don't be such a perfectionist" or "It's unhealthy to be that ****". I don't think I'm a perfectionist per se, I think organized is a better word for it. I make a lot of lists, I organize and then reorganize, and I get anxious when things aren't "perfect" or when I'm overwhelmed with my lists. For example, I would re-write my notes if my handwriting bothered me, I tab everything, and I color code everything. My professor said it's unhealthy but I just don't agree. What's wrong with being organized? It's just the way I learn. I have to do my system in order to learn and get everything done that needs doing and as long as I am getting done what I need to and learning then what is the issue? Are any of you like that?

Let me know if I should post this in a different section

No,I think you are right I like to do the same thing an my husband always says I take I take to long to do the task at hand cause I do the same things as you state.For instances there 2 weeks ago I was organizing my barbies although I have seen them a 100 times over I wanted to write an list of them what was in the box and if the box was damaged in anyway research them get values,ect...This task is still not fully done I have done 32 out of 45.He complaints that they are still out, but I want it to be perfect so I know what I have and what they r worth if anything ever happens to them.

Hi Court_Knee...
Organization, structure and repetition are absolutely key to me having any success. I was not always so organized, but learned to be that way. I believe this coping skill was the main reason my ADD went un-diagnosed for 43 years. I was pretty good with notes myself, always printed with architectural lettering because it slowed me down and I believe helped me remember. The neatness helped me with later study too. Some of my "Systems" get people to comment and wonder why I'm so rigid, but I hate chaos and know disorganization sends me backwards and things will start to fail for me. A little on the OCD side, maybe, but these traits help me cope.

As long as your system works, who cares what others say, right?

[-jimi-]

Maybe you don't have the natural flow most people come with so you have to have an outer structure to make things come into place? Then your system is not wrong. What is wrong is if it causes you distress for making a tiny mistake. If you always have to have your way, life is going to smack you real hard because it will not be color coded all the time, it will just happen. I know it is hard to deal with that and I do too, but we have to practice that as well.

[unaluna]

I'm either completely organized, or things are completely a mess, often in the same general area. I think they are two separate genes and I inherited one each from my parents. I am trying to reach a middle ground of just doing things to 80 percent. Ie my 80 percent, which would be other people's "good enough, let it go already!!"

[2_b_free]

If it is working for you, then keep doing it. What other people think is not your problem, you don't need to live up to or down to other peoples expectations. Good habits and behaviors are positive.

On an off note, too many people with ADD/ADHD are just taking medication without making any effort to change their behaviors or try to work on coping with ADD. 1% medication 99% perspiration

Thank you for all of your responses everyone! I am so appreciative of your input!

Originally Posted by astenon

Maybe your behaviour is a bit OCD, but as long as it doesn't rule your life that's not a problem at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being organised. Anyone that tells you different is probably jealous because they wish they had everything organised like you.

See, my friends make "jokes" about how "OCD" I am. I've never been bothered by this quality of mine until the past few months. I feel like it's pointed out all the time and I don't know if it's because I've gotten worse (or better depending how you look at it!) about my organization systems recently or if I'm just noticing and holding on to the comments more now. I just can't help but wonder if it's really that weird to be like I am. I don't know if it's just an ADD thing and I can brush it off as such (it's hard to know sometimes what's ADD and what's not) or if it's a personality fault I need to try and fix.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Sounds like you've got a good system organizing. I would love to be so organized. Hopefully you aren't getting down on yourself when things aren't as organized as you'd like. That could be of concern.

I get disappointed in myself pretty easily when I screw something up-- even if I am the only one who thinks I screwed up I just can't always brush it off.

Originally Posted by alicia1986

No,I think you are right I like to do the same thing an my husband always says I take I take to long to do the task at hand cause I do the same things as you state.For instances there 2 weeks ago I was organizing my barbies although I have seen them a 100 times over I wanted to write an list of them what was in the box and if the box was damaged in anyway research them get values,ect...This task is still not fully done I have done 32 out of 45.He complaints that they are still out, but I want it to be perfect so I know what I have and what they r worth if anything ever happens to them.

I am glad to know I am not the only one who likes things to be perfect!

Originally Posted by YYZadd

Hi Court_Knee...
Organization, structure and repetition are absolutely key to me having any success. I was not always so organized, but learned to be that way. I believe this coping skill was the main reason my ADD went un-diagnosed for 43 years. I was pretty good with notes myself, always printed with architectural lettering because it slowed me down and I believe helped me remember. The neatness helped me with later study too. Some of my "Systems" get people to comment and wonder why I'm so rigid, but I hate chaos and know disorganization sends me backwards and things will start to fail for me. A little on the OCD side, maybe, but these traits help me cope.

As long as your system works, who cares what others say, right?

Yes, absolutely right!!! I try to tell myself that, too: "it works for me so screw what you think!" The fact that you say it's your coping mechanism for dealing with ADD makes me wonder if that is just all it is for me, too. Before I started to take medicine I would have some nights where I wouldn't be able to sleep until I cleaned and organized my room perfectly. If I didn't I would be up all night thinking about it because it bothered me so much!

Originally Posted by jimi...

Maybe you don't have the natural flow most people come with so you have to have an outer structure to make things come into place? Then your system is not wrong. What is wrong is if it causes you distress for making a tiny mistake. If you always have to have your way, life is going to smack you real hard because it will not be color coded all the time, it will just happen. I know it is hard to deal with that and I do too, but we have to practice that as well.

Yes, I need a lot of structure and organization in my life. I don't do well without it. I feel like if I don't have everything planned out then I won't do it. I often make myself schedules for the next day planning out what I need to do hour by hour so that my day is planned and organized and I know what to expect when and don't hit any bumps! Like I mentioned previously, I do dwell on my mistakes when I screw up something. I just get really upset and disappointed with myself because I usually feel like I made a dumb mistake when I fail whatever it is. Yes, I am learning that life doesn't always cooperate with me. LOL So far it's worked out well though!

Originally Posted by 2_b_free

On an off note, too many people with ADD/ADHD are just taking medication without making any effort to change their behaviors or try to work on coping with ADD. 1% medication 99% perspiration

I'm not sure what you mean or are implying about medicine? Please explain!
I didn't take medicine for awhile at all because my mom was against it. She strongly believes in mind over matter so we wanted to try without it! I had a lot of issues in school because I just talked 24/7 non stop really fast about nothing important because I just loved to talk constantly LOL I'm a very on the go person and have a hard time staying sill and focusing on one thing without getting distracted by other things. I can't sit through movies because my mind wonders and I think of a million other things I need to do. I can listen to 3 conversations at once and tell you what they all said but then I can't tune them out so I get overwhelmed. Despite that though I've always been a really good student grade wise. Always on honor roll, took advanced and AP classes. I just got yelled at a lot lol. We tried Adderall my junior year of high school but it made me really mean and awful so we tried Vyvanse and it's been so helpful with my focus. I couldn't imagine trying to do college with out it!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Court_Knee

and I get anxious when things aren't "perfect" or when I'm overwhelmed

If you are anxious when you're practicing it, instead of feeling helped and/or calmed, then it's probably not healthy. It's not that you are necessarily a perfectionist but you need the control of knowing what is going on and having it go a certain way, it's a protection rather than a fault. Protection isn't bad but if it gets in the way, like wearing winter, long-sleeved clothes in the summer, then it is time to work on why you feel the need for such heavy protection.

[-jimi-]

You sound young still. It might be you need lists and that now as a crutch, but maybe you will grow into some behaviors so you no longer need a list. You don't seem to do them just cuz, but because they actually help you. Just practice a little when you can, not to do exactly everything to perfection. Your mind will protest and maybe even claim it is 100 % organization or none, but it's not true. It's good not to lose structure, but life is better once you allow for a few mistakes. It doesn't mean your whole system is going to come apart, because obviously you need the system.

[-jimi-]

And no, this is NOT OCD. OCD is things you do that are PURPOSELESS and often counterproductive, and are NOT pleasant to do, and when you break an OCD thing, you don't feel like failure, more like impending doom.

Some people think OCD is being neat and organized. SO WRONG! That might me OCPD that is a completely different thing. A lot of people with OCD have compulsions not about being neat, but doing crazy stuff they are even embarrassed to talk about.

Originally Posted by jimi...

And no, this is NOT OCD. OCD is things you do that are PURPOSELESS and often counterproductive, and are NOT pleasant to do, and when you break an OCD thing, you don't feel like failure, more like impending doom.

Some people think OCD is being neat and organized. SO WRONG! That might me OCPD that is a completely different thing. A lot of people with OCD have compulsions not about being neat, but doing crazy stuff they are even embarrassed to talk about.

Thank you for letting me know that!! I feel much better knowing it's not even close to being an OCD issue.

[kptclutch]

I'm soooo the same way! I have a system for each topic I'm studying and I stick to that system because its earned me a 3.8. I've had friends make remarks about me being a perfectionist, and they're probably right.

My perception of the situation is this: we all have the capacity to be depressed,OCD,or victims of any other disorder. By definition, any activity that keeps someone from living a 'normal' life is a disorder, and is considered unhealthy. But if we want to over-achieve and have developed a system of accomplishing just that, then the success is a product of the system we designed. That's not unhealthy....that's an accomplishment!

I look forward to reading more of your posts...I feel like we have a lot in common and you've yet to convey a negative connotation.

Take care

[Malachite]

Dear Courtney,

Perfectionism, is one of the eight diagnostic criteria of OCPD. You may want to check, if any of the other seven fit. Following is a reference:

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - PsychCentral

I have been diagnosed with OCPD, and I am definitely a perfectionist. Perfectionists produce work of great quality. They put a lot of effort, into everything they do. They take great pride in their work. It is often sought and coveted by many.

However, their is a dark side. Perfectionism, can be terribly burdensome, particularly, in the context of employment and school work. Business models of employers, often, don't allow for the time required by perfectionists to complete their tasks, in the way a perfectionist must complete their tasks. Perfectionist students, often have time management problems, i.e., they find, there is just not enough time to complete all their assignments.

Yet, I wouldn't want to change; it is who I am. Furthermore, I don't believe change is possible. Perfectionists, just need to find their niche, a place where they are comfortable, a place where they are appreciated, a place where they are not burdened by time constraints.

Your fellow perfectionist,

Larry

[260397chte]

Originally Posted by Court_Knee

Are any of you "perfectionists"?

I'm constantly called a perfectionist. It's almost like it's used as an insult though when I get comments such as, "don't be such a perfectionist" or "It's unhealthy to be that ****". I don't think I'm a perfectionist per se, I think organized is a better word for it. I make a lot of lists, I organize and then reorganize, and I get anxious when things aren't "perfect" or when I'm overwhelmed with my lists. For example, I would re-write my notes if my handwriting bothered me, I tab everything, and I color code everything. My professor said it's unhealthy but I just don't agree. What's wrong with being organized? It's just the way I learn. I have to do my system in order to learn and get everything done that needs doing and as long as I am getting done what I need to and learning then what is the issue? Are any of you like that?

Let me know if I should post this in a different section