[kala83]

I nearly broke down in tears at my work place tonight I am still in training and I am really behind as far as my training goes and what I need to know.

having bipolar, being ADD, and having general anxiety and typically low self esteem, does not help the situation for about the last few two hours I have been sitting down working flash cards to get the info down in my head and I intend on spending another few hours working on this stuff tomorrow before I go in.

I am doing the best that I can but I am still struggling I scared out of my mind about losing this job. But I have to keep self affirming to myself that I am doing this most that I can.

And that possibly this job is not a good fit for me, I am working with vocational rehabilitation here in town, and they are offering me extra coaching with my disabilities if I need it. I think I need to tell them about my discussions with my assistant manager that went down tonight.

my assistant manager knows of my issues, and things sort did get heated. But I turned around and worked very hard at correcting my mistakes and putting real Effort into my work tonight after I got off too. So I am hoping that helps.

Ya the shame of experienced obnoxious people getting frustrated because of ADHD when you're learning is one of the worst feelings. I lived this working in a mechanic shop for 2 years. I was always losing peoples tools. I lost hundreds and hundreds of tools. But people knew how good I was when I worked eventually. Good language skills are subconsciously formed to adapt when you're talking to someone. Maybe because the shop was loud with the trucks so it was ok to ask to repeat the explanations three times .

The most important thing. The number one rule (which is what my psychologist taught me) Is that, you have to build a good relationship with who ever you're involved with and then you get to do what ever the hell you want. As long as you do your job good, work as hard as you can, believe in yourself that you can do it. It doesn't matter how much time it takes to do work. Eventually you'll be a pro and that anxiety will be less.

Usually I build good relationships with people. And most people I don't like but it comes automatically. If there's someone you really really don't like, stay out of their way but be reasonable.

Meds will help too obv.

[Korashin]

I have had some of this situation and it is really hard but all you have to try to do is believe in yourself and know you are doing your best. And maybe turning the knowledge into a game and studding it like that and maybe bring a picture of someone or something that makes you happy or at peace and keep it in your pocket while your at work. And know you can do it I'll be here if you want to talk.....

[kala83]

tonight at work went a lot better I am improving a lot from things I was struggling with and I am really glad of it...
its such a load off my shoulders.

[Korashin]

I'm proud of you great job

[kala83]

I am having to put more effort into learning and memorizing stuff at work but my hard work is already completely paying off at this point.