[ganapathim]

Hi,

My son was diagnosed with ADHD (attentive type) when he was in the first grade. He is in the second grade now.
He was taking medications from then.
His teacher used to complain that he is not paying attention even after taking medications for almost a year. The other complaint was my son was crying in the class at least once a day.
His teacher was suggesting that he is not upto the cut-off for third grade and insisting us to have him repeat the second grade.
However, his test scores were always good. His doctor also tested him and said his reading level is at grade 3 and writing level at grade 2.
We have a meeting with the school in a week or so.

Any information on the pros and cons of repeating a grade from other parents will be really useful.

Thanks in advance.

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central!

I can't speak as someone with that experience, but I know it can be tough on a kid to see his friends move on. Have you talked to a counselor about it and him? I definitely recommend that.

We held our son back a year in first grade due to developmental/maturity characteristics that were making it difficult for him to function in class. He had the cognitive ability of his peers, but the maturity of a younger child which was causing him other issues. It was a difficult decision to make, but ultimately the best one for him. He has a late birthday as it is, so he was one of the youngest and one of the least ready to move on with the rigor of higher grade levels at the time. Giving him that extra year gave him time to grow into himself. At that young age, it had little if any social impact (it would be different beyond about 2nd grade). He did well and is graduating in a few months. It was the right decision for him.

[Secretum]

I started kindergarten at age 6 (essentially held back a year in pre-school; apparently I didn't socialize with the other kids). It has been a source of extreme insecurity for me. People tell me that I'm smart, but I think "how can I be all that intelligent if I was held back"?! In high school, I was very academically successful, but I couldn't really celebrate those victories. Was my success the result of me being smart, hard working, and capable, or simply due to the fact that I had an advantage over the other kids because I was older?

I highly recommend you not make your son repeat second grade. It will affect his self-esteem and the way he views himself for the rest of his life. People with ADHD already tend to view themselves as unintelligent, simply because our brains work differently. My brother, a very smart kid, also has ADHD; like me, he has struggled with feeling like he is stupid or thinking that others think he is stupid. And he wasn't even held back!

It sounds like, based on testing, your son is ready for the 3rd grade. I get the sense that this teacher doesn't like him very much, and is letting this impression cloud her judgment of what is actually best for your son.