Skepticism

I don't know if any in this forum has experienced skepticism from others when you tell them you have ADHD. It always happens to me! It frustrates me and makes me feel like understanding from others is 43 billion light-years from Earth.
Every time I tell someone I have ADHD they answer something like: "But you don't seem to have it." Do I really need to "seem" to have it? Do I have to be running around and saying inappropriate things in order for me to be ADHD? I don't think so. Especially since I am 21, and the condition changes with age. It obviously will never be the same. What makes my heart ache is that some of those people would rather ascribe my behavior to some sort of character flaw. That couldn't be further from the truth. For years I have felt horrible because of my behavior and have struggled to be more attentive.
Some of them may have good intentions, but they are doing a disservice to me by not accepting that I have a disorder. If they did they would be more understanding and a lot of things would be answered.
I did excellently on several variations of the Stroop task, but that may be due to my ability to hyperfocus. I still do badly at tasks that require you to divide your attention, i.e., I can't multitask. I can read and comprehend while I walk, though. I also don't listen to some conversations that are under stimulating, even though I try to do so. But if the conversation is about anything scientific or academic then I am on. I can basically focus on anything that interests me for as long as I want, and I guess that's why people think I don't have the condition. But that doesn't mean I am not ADHD since according to the diagnostic criteria we still can focus on things we like. I am also horrible at finding things for others That has followed me my entire life and it is like a small imp that never stops its shenanigans. I hate to look for things to be honest. Especially since I always fail. The only times I am good are when I am interested and it is something that will cultivate my mind, like finding a mistake on a book (which I have done so before and got praised by the author for my careful reading).
(I also take long to get started on things, and find it almost painful to do so).

I think a lot of people with mental health problems get this kind of reaction. When i tell people I'm Bipolar, I get thinks like you "you don't seem to have it" or even "you don't act crazy". Some people are just never going to understand mental health and what we go through whether they can see it or not.

That's why a lot of us are on PC, because here people understand. We work with what we have been given and do the best we can. And sounds like you are doing do that. Congratulations.

The other thing that comes to mind is a lot of people think that it's over diagnosed or some people self-diagnose so they immediately don't trust anyone who says they are. Some people don't even believe it exists so that doesn't help much either. And then there are those who think they know better than the doctors.

Most of us have received a label to receive health benefits, disability payments, for school and so we can talk about "symptoms" we are experiencing. We communitcate with each other on this site with labels - as we discuss our struggles so others here can understand what we are going through.

We are not the label...and many do not understand what the label means.

I work with many with the ADHD & Autistic label - I have experienced incredible talent. If you were flunking art or music in school...believe me, there would be no label.

We are learning ways to help the brain integrate better to improve symptoms.

It will take a long time before the general public "gets it". Do not let it kill your spirit.

NO ONE believes me that I have concentration difficulties because of my high grades. It's so upsetting. I don't know when people decided that performance in school was the ultimate determinant of one's cognitive abilities. Yes, I do well in school. I fail in every other aspect of life, but I do well in school. What good are all of those As on my transcript if I can't hold a job because I'm too scatterbrained. I can't tell you why exactly I do so well at school-related tasks, although I suspect it has something to do with the ability to do things at my own pace. For example, if I have a school essay due in two weeks, I can start on it now and write a little bit here and there when my concentration will allow. On the other hand, at a job, I'm expected to do things on the spot, so it's much harder for me to perform.

I had a friend tell me that I would have more money if I really wanted to, so if I wind up moving back in with my abusive sister, it is all my fault for not putting in more work to make more money. That's rough to hear. People really think I'm just so lazy that I would rather live with an unsanitary, abusive monster than work? Does the fact that I have a 3.95 GPA, graduated college, and have aspirations of being a doctor not tell people that my problem isn't that I'm merely lazy?

I'm dealing with some serious skepticism from my parents. I'm eighteen and I have always had trouble focusing in school, I am seriously unproductive. so much so that I'm not graduating on time. I have taken I few good amount of test for add/adhd over the years and I've researched all the symptoms and it all points to me having these issues though a little less on the hyperactive side, I even took the test on here. the point is that I've been trying to convince my parents that i might have it and to at least go see with a professional before they blantantly deny my problems. they know I'm smart and think I'm just lazy, like my intelegence has something to do with it when it doesn't. and they also dissmiss it because they went and got me checked out when I was three and the docter said i didn't have it and I was just very curious and bright. but newsflash things can progress over time and i think three is a little young to get a difinitive answer. so i know some people might think i don't belong here because I haven't been formally diagnosed and i'm sorry about that. i just don't where else to voice these problems.

You know yourself better than anyone. Your parents may not be able to handle it - which is sad and hard for you. You will be able to start taking care of yourself. Being at this site is a great start. Are there any organizations in your area that you can go to for support? I receive my care and support for my issues through a center that is based on income...not sure what your financial situation is.

Many parents and others do not understand how hard your brain has to work and how hard it is to control - if they understood they would never call you lazy. Learn to take care of yourself and I hope your parents come to an understanding very soon. I'm sure there is a lot of good advice on this site.

I can relate to you with regards to the grades and intelligence. I haven't had a job, because I KNOW I will mess things up. I am really good at concentrating while reading and ****, but I just fail socially and emotionally. People say I have no empathy and that I am rude and self-centered. I always try to give advice when asked, and all I get is "you don't understand". I also have trichotillomania, and I am making the effort to stop, but it is so difficult.