[john7021]

Hello I'm new to this forum. I decided to join as I thought this might be good to have some sense of community and more importantly share my story. I was diagnosed with ADHD before being a teenager. I was medicated with Ritalin at around 10 years old. Then Strattera as a teenager, and progressed to Adderall when I was 18.

I have noticed that the hyperactive symptoms have died down as I have gotten older. I was always a very hyperactive kid. I never payed attention in school, and high school sucked for me. I remember never paying attention to social cues and ended up dropping out after 9th grade due to low self esteem and couldn't deal with people effectively. Yet I managed to pass my ged with just a ninth grade education if that's any consolation.

Mostly I was not medicated during high school. I recall dealing with comorbid issues such as generalized anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder as well. I was on disability until I was 18 (500 $ a month).

When I was 18 my benefit was terminated. Since I lived in crappy rural town and it was the great recession I had little chance of securing employment as did many others in the 16-19 age group. Eventually I enrolled in post secondary education known as community college. I was prescribed Adderall as well. My first 2 semesters I completed 20 credits with over a 3.0 average. It was a lifesaver, and the only reason I got through my work. Sadly after about a year I was very disengaged by community college and the tedium that they said we must get through. I had started dropping classes and stopped caring and stopped taking Adderall.

That was a mistake. I found alcohol at age 19 and my usage was more than casual although I never considered myself an alcoholic, but a few months I was drinking beer every day and not socially. I was always a recluse and was self medicating the comorbid conditions (gad and ocd and depression) I always compared myself to others and always had low self esteem. Eventually I just quit drinking for 8 months cold turkey, and started back up in moderation.

I ended up seeking treatment for my anxiety disorders. Docs prescribed benzos and they were effective. I also went through the litany of pharma. Seroquel for a couple moths, Lexapro, Paxil, several others. The bad thing was that when I started one med it would have contraindications with another. e.g (Can't take benzos (anxiety) with Adderall (adhd med) because it's a speedball.

Bottom line is I have primarily inattentive add. I have executive dysfunction, I have slower cognitive load and my brain spends dopamine too fast. I lose things, forget things, interrupt people when I am afraid I will forget, poor short term memory and poor motivation and poor tolerance for jumping through hoops.

I think I have a good understanding of what is wrong with me cognitively and have been told I have a good fluid intelligence but have not compensated for my neurodevelopmental problems.

I confess I've never passed a class without Adderall and should probably go back to school and get my medication but currently I am doing other things. I have been working 30 hours a week at minimum wage getting my first job was a slight bump for my self esteem yet the earnings gap between college grads and unskilled is alarming.

I've only officially been diagnosed with ADHD(ADD) primarily inattentive type. But I surmise that have ocd (germaphobia/rituals) and generalized anxiety disorder as well.

I decided to share my story, I was wondering if anyone has suffered similar?

[Altered Moment]

Welcome to PC. I am very glad you found us. I do not have ADD or ADHD but I have found other sections of this forum to be filled with understanding and supportive people who have similar situations.

Way to go on the job. That is a big deal. You are right there is a huge disparity between college educated and not. I would encourage you to go back if you want to. As for meds it is a tricky game that many of us here struggle with. You might post in the psyche meds section as lots of people here take amphetamines with other meds. My opinion is that is Adderal works and helps you than take it. I don't think the anti depressants are good for anxiety but they work for some. They have proven to be pretty effective for OCD, at least certain ones. Unfortunately we are kind of stuck with the benzos for anxiety because they have never developed much else. There are some other things though.

You sound very intelligent to me. I hope you can find some help and support here.

[gma45]

Again, Welcome to PC! Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure you will find people here that can relate. From what you wrote it does sound like you do better on medication. Sometimes that is just what we need. I know with me, I do much better with my depression when I am on medication and counseling helps too. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy your time here.

[john7021]

Originally Posted by gma45

Again, Welcome to PC! Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure you will find people here that can relate. From what you wrote it does sound like you do better on medication. Sometimes that is just what we need. I know with me, I do much better with my depression when I am on medication and counseling helps too. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy your time here.

Thanks for replying man