Asking for help with ADD/ADHD

I'm a 19 year old female and I just started my second year of college. Throughout high school I always did really well in school, I have always been intelligent, but I never had to put forth much effort. Ever since I started college, I have become highly aware of the lack of focus I thought was normal for people to have. It's becoming a problem for me and I think I may have ADD/ADHD.

95% of the people I meet I will not remember their names because I start thinking about something else when they tell me. Multiple friends have commented on my "interruption" problem, one that I had never noticed before because it's something I've always done. I will lose track of a conversation halfway through and zone back in pretending to remember. This is particular bad when someone is trying to give me instructions because I'm too afraid to admit that I wasn't paying attention. The tasks I enjoy I focus all of my attention on and completely block out the one's I dislike. If I have homework or something strenuous to do, I will avoid it until the last moment, only because I begin getting very anxious about having to get it done.

I took the quiz on this site and I scored a 40. I have been wanting to ask for help with these problems for a little over a year but I've always convinced myself that my thinking I have ADD is because I have a lot of friends with the disorder. Now I'm realizing that that may be the cause because I can relate to them so well. Now that I admit I need help, I'm afraid to ask for it because I'm not sure where to start. I'm intimidated to ask my mother because I don't want her to tell me nothing is wrong with me and just dismiss the issues I'm having. Where should I go from here?

Well, you don't necessarily have to tell your mother just yet, you are 19. However, you're also on her insurance, I'm sure, so she will find out about it.

So you could put it this way: You're having a lot of trouble focusing and getting your work done. You're not sure what to do. It's affecting your studies, and you don't want to fail out of college. You want to see a psychiatrist to get evaluated, and take it from there. Don't mention meds. Parents don't like it when you throw it all at them at once. They need to take baby steps with understanding, too.

Or, you could just go to see the psychiatrist and get evaluated, and get the prescription, and: "Mom, I have something to tell you." While she's expecting you to say you've done something way worse, you tell her you have ADD, and she's relieved. Problem solved.

But you should probably go with the former.

I relate to you being able to sail through school. I never put in any effort when it came to school until I got into the later years of high school at a rigorous private school. I realized that I was falling behind quickly and was having trouble focusing during lectures and longer classes. I happened to be seeing a therapist for anxiety at the time who agreed with me about the possibility of ADHD.

I think that if you are curious, you should see if there is a school psychologist or disability counselor on campus. Many schools don't do ADHD evaluations anymore but they might be able to give you a preliminary quiz type thing and refer you to a good psychiatrist/psychologist. That person can do a full evaluation and give you a concrete answer. I don't think you should worry about disclosing that you might have ADHD until you know for sure (unless you need to tell your parents for financial reasons). And when/if you do decide to tell them, I don't think it will be as bad as you think. Most parents just want the best for their kids. If you explain to them that the diagnosis is a good thing and assure them that you are taking steps into treating your symptoms so that you can better succeed in school, they will most likely adjust to the idea.