[Shiver3713]

Hello, I'm a teenager in Middle School. I currently go to a therapist because I told the Guidance Counselor that I thought I might have ADHD (Inattentive). She sent me to the school psychologist who sent me to my doctor who sent me to a therapist who never talks about the REASON I CAME THERE.

In elementary school I had some problems: Sloppy notes, missed homework, careless math, and a folder of doodles. I, however, still did pretty well. I had an AWFUL 5th grade, but I got by.

Now, I'm in middle school. Teachers no longer have any truck with late work, so I've tried to fix it. No matter how hard I try I CANNOT FOCUS. I have, on average, 1 1/2 hours of homework to do each night.

I forget it, do the wrong side, do it carelessly, don't do it at all, do half of it, end up spending the minutes on a factoring problem in math, etc.

It's utterly infuriating! I tried to reach out to my math teacher (where the issue is the worst), but she told me I was just lazy. NO NO NO! It seems that way, but I'm not trying to be. Every night, I sit down with the best of intentions and I blow it. Even if I remove all electronics, I still get distracted.

I've tried every study habit that has been suggested: lists (I forget to make them), taking breaks (I get distracted and do something else), doing it in one fell swoop (okay for non-tedious tasks).

I can't seem to make anyone understand that I WANT to do the work. I WANT structure. I WANT to do well. But I CAN'T stay focus on one topic. Even if it's only me and my brain in the room, I'll suddenly get rushed with story ideas.

I promise, I DO try. I don't want straight Cs! I would do anything to get As. (Teachers don't want to help because my test scores are in the 80-90 range, so I'm "just not applying myself fully).

I also have trouble staying focused in class. Sometimes doodling helps (I can do that and hear) but then I focus more on the doodle.

Also, I'm barely was able to talk to the counseler because my officially-diagnosed friend (combined type) claims that I can't have it because I'm shy and extremely quiet/nervous around people.

Does anyone have advice on how to cope whiteout an official diagnosis?

[Miswimmy1]

Hi I'm an 18 year old who can completely relate to your situation- Sloppy notes, missed homework, careless mistakes, doodles... you name it. I too was able to skate by until the work load became too much. Unfortunately, as you get older, the teachers expect more and more from you. I specifically relate to your struggles in math- that has always been my problem area as well. I'm sorry that your math teacher has been so unhelpful.

Does your school have a disability office or student services office? I don't know where you are but public schools in the US can provide evaluations for ADHD and learning disabilities and are required by law to provide services if you meet the criteria for a diagnosis. Especially if your teachers have noticed symptoms, I don't see why the school wouldn't evaluate you themselves.

My advice is to continue to try to talk to the school counselor. Make it clear that you want to succeed and ask him/her to help you brainstorm ideas for how to do better in school. Be specific about your problems (maybe start with an example for one homework assignment). Explain exactly what you said here. Unfortunately, going in to your counselor and saying "I can't focus" may not get you anywhere.

Hang in there! I have found that one must be one's own advocate to get anything out of the school system. Good luck!

[CANDC]

Shiver, welcome to Psych Central. Sorry to hear you have been suffering from lack of support at school. I find myself that I can focus better in the morning, so I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to do my work I need to focus on.

Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps me in balance. If you are not sleeping or having bad side affects, contact your doctor or psychiatrist and tell them what is happening so you can make adjustments.

Some people at PC will find a therapist will also help them sort out the roots of their life.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share

[sideblinded]

I have ADHD and wasn't diagnosed until later in life. I wish I had been diagnosed when I was much younger.

I would not give up seeking help for this. It is crucial that you get an adult to listen to you. I would as the poster before me said, to go to your school counselor. You may even talk to your school nurse if you have to. We know ourselves better than anyone else and I believe you when you say that you want to succeed. Please keep reaching out at home and here. Welcome to PC.

[cakeladie]

Hi and welcome,
Have you told your parents what's going on? You need to be tested for ADHD. They can also put you on an IEP which would allow you extra time to do you work and get extra help. There is nothing wrong with that.

See your counselor and give them your concerns. The longer you wait the harder it will be for you to catch up.

My son was dx with ADD when he was 3 years old. He was also put on medicine and started special classes. I had to fight for everything he got. 10 years later it turns out that he does not have ADD but an auditory processing disorder along with autism and mild retardation. He did manage to graduate from high school. It took him a year longer and he went to a trade school for merchandising were he received his certificate and he also got his floral design certificate.

Because of his disabilities he does not have to work but he does. He works 5 days a week and between 25-40 hours a week.

Talk to the counselors and your parents you need to get an IEP and that will help you out a lot.

Good luck

[Shiver3713]

Thanks for all the support! What I did was send a detailed email to the counseler including a list of ADHD symptoms and specific examples of when they applied to me. She called the school psychologist who sent me to my doctor who told me I was just a normal middle school kid (without asking any questions) she then sent me to a lady who asks about Colorguard and nothing else. My mom did tell about the original reason that brought me there.

I'm also not sure what the school told my doctor because the psychologist was "more concerned" about the fact that I was crying when I tried to explain. (I sent an email for a reason. Articulating things to people I don't know face-to-face is not my strong point) I just got really upset because they were asking evaluative questions and I don't always know what I feel. (If I write it I have a buffer that helps me understand.

I will keep pursuing it. Right now I have to force myself to stay after school every day it's allowed because then the teacher will yell if I stop working. Oh yeah, they also won't beleive me because I'm not "actually failing" any of my classes. (Thanks for the kind stereotype). The reason I don't fail is becuase A) I've been dealing with this alone my whole life and I've learned to cram everything in at the end if I missed it (by staying after school) and B) my tests are good enough to carry my grade for a long while.

Again, thank you so much.

[kaliope]

hi shiver
i think having your parent take you to a therapist who specializes in adhd is the answer. so you can get a diagnosis and treatment so that you can be successful. push for that. vent your frustration so you can get the help you need. vent it to your therapist so maybe she/he will take some action. vent it over and over like you did in this post. dont let up until action is taken. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[RisuNeko]

And if youre too shy to say all you said in your post then print it out and have them read it. you are very well spoken.