[call me k]

I transferred universities last year. I moved to a new place and made some acquaintances, hung out with my best friend (who goes to the university) and her friends, dated a guy & hung out with his friends and was doing well in school. Then I seemed to lose control of things. My grades started to drop (I was not on adderall then), I broke up with my boyfriend, my best friends moved to another state, I had a death in the family and I've had trouble making friends. So over the past couple of months I've been kinda in a slump. I had, nay have mild social anxiety due to my adhd but my bestfriend and boyfriend were social butterflies, so I hung out with a lot of people. I worked through my slump with my doctor. I'm on adderall, grades are up,I learned how to be alone, I feel great and I'm ready to get back on the social scene. The thing is, I realised that I have no friends of my own and hanging out with my ex's friends would be weird (Not that I've received an invitation). My best friend was a year older, so most of her friends are graduating or have graduated. I'm so used to having people around in my life that I think I've kinda forgotten how to meet new people or talk to them. I'm a transfer student and a junior in college, so most people have their group of friends already. I feel silly joining a club alone, again dependency issues. I have no problem talking to people or hanging out once a friendship is established but the initiation of a conversations/ asking people if they want to hang out is still something new. Any ideas? or maybe share a story of how you make friends or deal with anxiety?

I wish I could say i had an answer I suffer from social anxiety I tend to have very hard time meeting people. You might try going to something like a church or a college youth club. At least then you could meet someone in your age range and have a chance to hit it off with someone.

I wish I had better answers.

[RisuNeko]

I have social anxiety and have trouble meeting new people (right now my only friend is someone I met here on PC who happens to live in my city), but in the past one way I found that was helpful for meeting people was asking people in my classes if they wanted to form a study group. It not only helped with my grades in the classes but helped me meet people and after we got to talking and clicked we were able to be friends even after the class ended. It might be a little scary to walk up to people and ask if they want to study with you, but you can scope out people ahead of time while you're in class. Pick people you might want to be friends with (I know that's probably easier said then done). I usually just picked the people who were sitting next to me, or who seemed to know what they were doing in class. Might be worth a try? You could just say one simple sentence "Hey, do you want to maybe get together to study for the midterm/final/paper/whatever sometime?" and then exchange cell numbers and start texting them about getting together.

It might also be worth it to join a club even if you're alone. People usually join clubs alone, and when your'e the newest member people pay attention to you and are curious about you. Perfect opportunity to share a bit about yourself and start chit chatting. "what's your major?" "where are you from?" etc. and eventually if that goes well, "hey do you want to hang out sometime?" Plus when you join a club that's about something you're interested in, you know going into it that the other people there have a common interest with you, so that's another thing to talk about.

[Ruftin]

I agree with (((RisuNeko))) especially when it comes to study groups. Great way to meet new people and boost grades. Two for the price of one!!! Best wishes!!!

[precisonclear]

As somebody who's 29, and moved to a new city in a part of the country I've never been too before, I fantasize about going back to College just to make some friends.

The worst part about it is the more time you spend alone, then difficulty of being sociable increases.

Your body posture and facial features has a lot to do with what other's perceive as "friendliness". Try to stand up straight, and use your lips and eyebrows to be energetic.

There was a TED talk about how body language shapes a person's emotions
equally as the other way around.

[RisuNeko]

That's true. Holding a pencil between your nose and your top lip can cause you to feel happiness because it's kind of like smiling. People have done studies on the way facial expressions influence mood.

But yeah it gets harder to be social the longer you are isolated.