[Claire2015]

I wish to learn more about ADHD and how to be a good person to people with the condition. I myself don't have ADHD, i have severe anxiety so i can understand how daunting it can be to let people down or have them retaliate in a way it breaks you inside. However i wish to be able to be a good person to people which ADHD as i know people with the condition who need someone to actually understand them without patronising them, calling them lazy or saying just get on with it and stop moaning.

Can you give me any tips how to be good to an ADHD'er please?

It would mean a lot to me,

Claire

[Skeezyks]

Hello Claire2015: The Skeezyks is sorry... but he is not in a position to provide you with the guidance you seek. I first read your post a day or two ago but did not reply for this reason. But I see your Thread has still received no replies. So I thought I would at least leave a note. Perhaps other members, here on PC, who do feel able to offer some suggestions will yet reply to your post. I wish you well...

[nicoleflynn]

Simply treat them with kindness.....have good listening skills. People (All) want to be validated.

[MtnTime2896]

So, as someone who's dealt with this my entire life, here are a few things I feel help and hurt.
A lot of the time, I talk before I think (call it a lack of filter if you will). It can come out and be really comical. It can also be incredibly disrespectful and insulting. I feel terrible after doing so and try to apologize; some people just got it and talked through it with me and forgave me, others not so much. They always made me feel like the worst person alive and I would get real quiet and disappear.
Because of the previously mentioned incidents that occurred, I often find myself really quiet and shy around almost everyone. If I speak, that means I'll say something or do something that will hurt someone in some way. It always helped when a couple friends of mine understood this and made me feel like I could express myself.
Growing up, and even now, I have these things I do because...well I don't know why. I click a pen a lot when I'm trying to focus on a topic. I move my legs almost constantly for the same purpose. Out of no where I get spontaneous urges to make weird noises and I often follow through with them along with annoyingly singing a song over and over. All of this is a result of too much suppressed energy built up from trying to control it at work (at a time it was school). People will either get really annoyed with me and yell at me for it, making me feel like an annoying douche bag. My fiance (who's also ADHD) will either just not respond to it or he'll full on join me and we look like a couple of nut jobs (I love him so much). My friends just ignore it or find something for us to do that will get all of this energy out in a way that won't piss them off.
These are a few things that have helped and hurt how I feel about it all. Also, a lot of people call it made up and just a lack of self-control. The way I explain my condition (it's not an illness to me) to them is that it can either be like an itch that keeps begging for you to scratch it or it can be like trying hold onto an untamed horse with a string (with energy). With focusing it's like reading a book while someone keeps turning to random pages or like a tv that keeps changing channels. It varies. Some days or periods of time are easier than others. It's not our fault, it's our challenge we face every single day to not upset anyone and still get our inner lack of focus to ease and intense energy out.