I think I have ADHD or something similar.

Greetings.

So I've been thinking lately that a lot of my issues might be due to ADHD or some kind of related issue.

You see, I'm currently enrolled in community college working towards a web development degree. School is hard for me because I get bored easily. I can't keep myself focused no matter how hard I try. I am terrible at test taking because I can't focus on reading and memorizing the information. As a result, I average a low C or high D on most of my tests. However, I do well on hands on stuff requiring me to do something that is fun or interesting to me.

School isn't my only issue either. I have trouble committing to things or people because I get bored and decide it's not worth my time. Heck, I have trouble committing to therapy or dealing with my childhood trauma because of boredom most of the time. Last time I saw a therapist, she wanted me to write something in a journal as part of some homework, I got bored with it and never returned.

Also, I don't get a lot of value from my time. It isn't uncommon for me to get lost in my head and daydream when I need to do something I don't want to do without realizing it half of the time. I slack off on my chores because chores are boring. I didn't get my apartment clean until the other day and that was only because pest control was scheduled by my apartment people and I didn't want people coming in seeing the filth I live in so I finally got the apartment looking presentable enough (trash wasn't piling on the floor and coffee grounds weren't spilled everywhere anymore). I get bored at work and end up getting hyper and making jokes when I should be working. I'm actually surprised I lasted as long as I have at this job because it isn't all that uncommon for my work performance to degrade because I would rather think about something fun like video game strategies, an epic anime battle, the secrets of the universe, or one of my many ideas than move some stupid tables for a bunch of people that don't give a crap about me. Oh, and I can get angry at somebody or something but become calm and completely forget about what even made me angry 5 minutes later.

Also one of my best friends who I've been open with regarding some of my mental health issues (because he has them too), flat out asked me one day if I had ADHD because when we were talking, I couldn't keep eye contact and I wouldn't be able to hold still. He said I tend to look everywhere when we talk and that I seem restless and fidgity, and he mentioned that I have a habit of changing subjects rather quickly.


So yeah, I know there is an issue. I can't help but to think that my quality of life would improve if I got more value out of my time. I just can't stay focused no matter how hard I try. I know they say you needed to have issues with ADHD as a kid but I was never diagnosed. I was diagnosed with explosive anger disorder and oppositional defiant disorder though so maybe those count. I'll try to get a diagnosis soon but it's just hard getting places when I live in a state with **** public transportation without a car.

Anyways, thoughts?

You don't need to have been diagnosed as a kid- they will just review your childhood "symptoms" with you see see if there were signs of it then.

I can relate to what you say, DarknessIsMyFriend. I have the same struggles. Unfortunately I don't know if you have ADHD or not, although from what you wrote I'd say it's very possible. The only way to know for sure is to see a dcotor and get a proper diagnosis. After that, you can decide where to go from there. Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you

Yeah, I've just been dreading having to go see the mental health people.

I don't want to ride the bus or pay for an Uber and I sure as hell don't want to wake up early to do an intake at 8 in the morning and wait in a lobby full of people just to be seen.


I knew I need to do something months ago but I've been putting it off. I just don't want to do any more work.

I know how you feel. But I feel like it may be the best things for you. Either way, the final decision is up to you. Sending many hugs to you

I will say that everyone I know who has gone to the doctor for ADHD has then be diagnosed with it.

But from my point of view you are just normal. I also daydream a lot and I can go an entire weekend without doing chores I would much prefer to play on the internet. Plus I hate the way they are the same chores weekly.

I need to take frequent breaks at work as I get bored and need something to "stimulate" me intellectually.

Personally I think it is too much work. It is as if I have only a certain amount of space in my head and if you push more into my head than I have room for I get distracted and spacey. I day dream and don't do the work because I know I have no real shot and getting it done.

IMHO medical professionals don't have anything but drugs for you and I am not sure the side effects of the drugs are worth it, not to mention the addictive properties.

I found these articles useful:

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Problems Related to ADHD

ADHD Test - 3 Minute Test for ADHD/ADD. Instant results.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Symptoms

Yeah, IDK what else to do though but maybe get some meds just for now until I can get to where I can make more money so I can try more alternative methods. Normally I'm against medication but if I'm overworked now, than I'll never get a finish school/get a decent job/start a business or anything else that I want to do because my classes have been rather easy for the most part. When I get to the harder stuff than I'm worried I'll fail. That is also true with me also trying to balance a job and trying to do my eBay selling on the side.

I could try alternative methods like supplements, but I've tried a few already and they don't work. Hell, I take 6-8 different supplements a day and they do very little for me and quite frankly, I cannot afford to keep this up. I could get a doctor to prescribe me something and get a months worth supply for under $20 since I make under 10 grand a year, where as I'm spending many times more than that on supplements, which, quite frankly, I cannot continue doing.

Thanks.


Took that 3 minute test and scored a 36. It says ADHD is likely.

Goodie me.

Also, my issue is so bad that I've put off going to the grocery store when I'm almost out of food because it's boring and stressful.

I flat out haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon, yet I have been putting off going to the store. It's not like I don't have money for food either because I do.

You know you have an issue when you literally starve yourself because you find shopping boring lol

Oh well, maybe this puppy fat will burn off me and maybe I can get a girl to be into me so w/e. Food is overrated haha

Got plenty of caffeine still that's all I need!

If it's even affecting your own diet, I'd say there's definitely an issue, DarknessIsMyFriend... I hope you'll see your doctor soon. Sending many hugs to you

Ya it also doesn't help that I have both a Taco Bell and an On Que across the parking lot from my apartments.

Instead of going grocery shopping, I give into the impulse of buying $1 burritos and cheap energy drinks.

It's so bad at this point that I'm known by name at that Taco Bell location by almost every employee in the store. I've bought much food from them that they wave at me and greet me by name and ask me how school is going and one of the girls that works there might even like me because she's given me free stuff. Like I've probably spent $200-300 at that store in the last year lol

Yeah, I have issues haha

What makes you say this? I have not experienced doctors blanket labeling people with adhd.

I am sorry that you feel this way about doctors. IME there are a lot of people who desperately need meds for adhd but cant get them due to the fact that doctors are afraid of controlled substances. Side effects can happen with any drugs not just the ones for adhd. And it has been proven that untreated adhd can make people with addictions worse off. I forget the percentage but people with adhd are a certain percent more likely to have drug and alcohol problems when untreated. I tend to get bothered by people saying that adhd is so easy to get diagnosed with and prescribed treatment for it. Its almost like its ok for people to put down adhd and its treatment because people do not always value the impairments of adhd as much as the impairments of other mental health issues.

Now, I'm discouraged from going to the mental health center.

Oh well, there is always weed

Do not be discouraged.

Well, you make it sound kinda like I will have a hard time getting help.

I really don't need any other difficulties in life ATM.

Darkness I didnt mean to make you feel discouraged. I just wanted to share that yes, its not easy but it is possible. Doctors are more discriminate than they used to be which is actually a good thing. I do not know how old you are but in the 90's there were a lot of boys medicated for adhd. Some who needed it and some who didnt. They used to call them "ritalin kids" so I think doctor's being more thorough is a good thing. And yes. doctors are scared of CII substances but not all doctors.

Well, I do feel discouraged now.

You know why I don't see a therapist? Simple. Too much damn work. Expecting me to open an hour per week of my precious time just to go to a therapist plus time for their stupid homework only to have to wait months or years for results (if they appear at all)? No thanks. The same can be said about antidepressants. Like hell I'm going to put in the work of going to a doctor just to take something that takes 6-8 weeks to do anything.

I only considered the ADHD meds because I was looking for a quick short-term fix so I can get more out of my time for the next few months only so I can succeed with my latest money making scheme and drop out of school. Would need a lot of effort to do so since I would still need to keep my student job until my plans start bearing fruit so to speak so remaining a student is paramount for my ambitions. Once I started succeeding with my plans I would stop taking their crap and start treating my issues my own way.

The whole point to what I'm trying to accomplish is to get out of working so much. I'm not going to go into detail on here but I am working on a way to make as much (or more!) money as working for a full time job with 10-20 hours of work per week max. I hate any type of working with a passion (and that includes working to "help" myself because the mental health system tells me I should) and just want to have fun and live in the moment.

Now I'm beginning to think that it's not worth the trouble to even try. I would be better off just getting high off some dank weed at this point at least weed has helped me in the past.

let me make sure I understand you. By being realistic and honest I discouraged you from trying to help yourself by..perhaps seeing a doctor to confirm your adhd suspicions before just giving you medication? Even though I didnt suggest a therapist per se I discouraged you from trying talk therapy because its too much work for you? You cant spare one hour once a week and possibly 20 additional minutes of dedicated thought about your own issues and your own life in order to promote wellness? You would be willing to take stimulants because hey, its like the movie limitless right? But antidepressants are the big bad wolves?
And at what point in life can you ever get a guarantee about personal results? Even this plan you have to work less and make more money you cant get a guarantee. Many people would hear you say that and assume its like a get rich quick scheme. I am not saying that's what you mean. 6-8 weeks is nothing if you end up feeling better. I'd take 15 minutes of spectacular over a lifetime of nothing special.
Good for you. I am glad that you would rather trivialize the importance of medications *in particular adhd meds which are now becoming an *** pain to get* in order to pull you through a few rough months so you can finish school and get rich. You can say all you want about the "mental health system" but usually the people ranting about the system are the ones that refuse to try it.
And for the record I have zero issues with weed of any kind and do not think it should be illegal. But people that glorify bad weed as if its in the same category and medication that can be life saving gets my fur in a fluff. Seriously if Cannibus is working out so well for you then you have your solution.

I would rather spend that 1 hour and 20 minutes per week playing video games or watching a few episodes of my favorite anime because those are things that are guaranteed to bring me immediate joy instead of being miserable in the short term (having to deal with my issues hurts too damn much) only to have a "chance" at being better way later down the line.

I just hate doctors and mental health professionals in general. I don't trust them at all and had bad experiences with them. I tried to take meds in the past but had a really bad experience (with SSRIs I believe but don't remember) and almost died from one of the pills I was on so I'm scared to take them again. I trust weed more because it doesn't have negative side effects even though it might not work as well some pills the risk isn't worth the reward to me when it comes to most medicine.

I have had **** experiences with therapists. The last one I saw flat out told me she can't help me after seeing her for over 6 months. The one before told me I couldn't see him anymore because I didn't have insurance and the grant I was on wore off. The one before that tried to take my video games away and found out what happens when people try to take one of the few things away that bring me any kind of happiness in this dark and lonely world.

So I've tried both therapy and medication, yet you seem insistent on attacking me on my own thread. What did I do to deserve your judgements anyways?

So yeah, I am sorry that I'm the way I am. I wish I wasn't but I don't have the same resources that you normies do. I don't have people to love me. I don't have hardly any support in my life. I don't have the same skills as other people because my mother didn't give a **** and failed to teach me how to survive in the world as an adult. I have had no help when I needed it the most. So yeah, I have to be this way to survive because I am a disadvantage since I lack the skills/resource the typical normal person has.

Also, there is one other thing that I forgot to mention. There is a reason why I am so obsessed with making money without working a regular job.

The reason is simply because it is hard for me to hold down a stable job for more than 6-12 months. Jobs are straight up triggering for me. There are times when I would cry like a baby or scream when I have to get up and go to work. The only reason why I have held out at my student job as long as I have is because they don't have a lot of expectations of me as a student employee and they let me take off time for anything "school" related as long as I email them ahead of time. When my mental health is at a low point I just make up some B.S about how I have a big test or homework project I need to study for and they believe me and let me take time off.

I have to be like this. I don't see how the mental health system will help me function at a job even if I want to and I can't guarantee that I won't be back where I was three years ago (chronically homeless mind you) after I finish school since even getting a job at ****ing Walmart is an overwhelming struggle. If I can't manage entry level jobs, what employer would want to pay me $40k or more a year to build them web sites? And I am to get on disability and make a measly $700 a month? How the hell am I supposed to live off that?


I intend on building my own web sites and webstores and I have a childhood friend that does something similar where he builds and monetizes web sites and sells cheap Chinese goods on his web site (known as dropshipping) and makes a 6 figure salary with about 10 hours of work per week. He maintains around 5 websites (a mix of dropship stores and blogs/fansites monetized by CPA/Internet marketing schemes) and hires people to do all the work he hates doing so he can enjoy life. He's barely over 30 and a self made millionaire despite having a **** childhood much like myself. If he can do it I can too.

Ultimately, if I have to lie, cheat, or steal to survive I am willing to do so because nobody has given me the help that I need when I needed it the most. History repeats itself as they say and history so far has shown me that when I try to depend on the mental health system or the government than I am asking for more pain and heartbreak. I just want to survive like everybody else I don't want to hurt anybody but it's clear I might be forced to hurt others to survive if it comes to that. I want to live and be happy but the universe clearly doesn't want me to be happy and free.

Drop shipping - Wikipedia

I hesitated posting this link for you because I didnt want you to think I was pooping on your ideas or that your friend has any reason to take advantage of you. But I had never heard of drop shipping and was curious. I am a very avid reader so I read some more. I fear you will get swindled one way or another. The scam possibilities are very lucrative and luring with this type of thing. The people that perpetrate this scheme target their victims with pin point accuracy. Their victims are usually smart, intelligent people who are not gullible. It may not even be your friend, your friend could be getting scammed too and thinking he is sharing a great thing with a friend. Over and over I read how the profit margin was slim to none whether you were scammed or actually tried to do it legit. Unless you carve out an exclusive niche with hard to get products its very hard to make money this way. There are heavy legal ties to bear too. Its largely unregulated which makes it seem "safe" from peering government eyes but the fallout in other ways makes up for it. Hacking your personal accounts, identity theft, malicious software, illegal and unsafe products- all of those things are associated with dropshipping. I know there are legit businesses, there always are but they are few and far between and many times you have to go from person to person up the chain to even find the origional scammer. Maybe I am wrong but a lot of what I read sounded true and it wasnt just wikipedia. I know you think no one cares about you, well I care if people are taken advantage of and wanted to let you know.

Yes, I don't think it is right to scam other people.

When you say the mental health system has failed you before, what exactly do you mean? Have you tried medication and it didn't work? Have you had a bad therapist? Some therapists are not good, but it seems like you have PTSD from your childhood, and a good therapist might be able to help.

I am a self taught computer hacker. Do you really think I don't know of all the scams out there? Fact of the matter I was planning on being a fraudster at one point of my life because I was well convinced that I could buy my way out of my problems with money.

And Wikipedia isn't accurate. Oh and that friend showed me proof of his earnings. I knew said friend since I was 7 he's one of the last people that would go out of his way to lie to me. Also I have had success with dropshipping myself (all though selling products on eBay as a powerseller instead of my own web store) and was making a steady 4 grand per month in profits but eBay suspended my account solely because I posted too many products in such a short time. They don't like it when you post 500 products in 1 week after having a history of only selling 5-10 per week. Lesson learned.

The scams you are referring to are largely middleman scams and random people offering to "sell" their crap advice/goods on the internet. I know how to spot and avoid both.

But alas, us arguing about this will benefit nobody. I'm not one to listen to people's advice when I set my mind on something and you shouldn't have to waste your energy on me so lets see who is right based on my actions alone.

I was literally trying to be kind. *Lesson learned.