I don't even know where to start. She is becoming very out of control, and I'm scared to death for her.

She is 17, and has next to no impulse control. Doesn't seem to have much regard for right and wrong.

The other night she stole my aunt(who she lives with)'s car, in the middle of a VERY bad snow storm, tried to get her friends to go joyriding with her, and was arrested(but not charged - my aunt didn't want her charged - I am not sure this was the right choice entirely)

She is doing illegal drugs, not often but still doing them.

She is taking effexor XR and adderal but grows more oppositional and defiant every day and more out of control. she constantly curses out my aunt, sometimes hits her, and is very mean to family members.

What can we do to help this poor girl get back on the right track/protect her from herself and others?

Bump!

[Perna]

Does she have enough "structure"/rules? It doesn't sound like anyone is paying "enough" attention to what she's up to? Is it just she and your aunt? Is your aunt up to the job of parenting a difficult teen?

I would get help for whoever is parenting her, how to deal with someone with her background and problems. Perhaps her doc can recommend someone?

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/...06-000003.html

http://books.google.com/books?id=AEJcHjY56bUC

thanks for the links perna.

does she have enough structure.. well, no, i dont think so. To explain more of the background situation, my aunt adopted her when she was seven months old. Is my aunt up to parenting her? Well, she sort of has to be I guess being that she adopted her. The fear right now that my aunt feels is that if she pushes her too far she will either get violent with my aunt or she will run away or take off completely.. my aunt fears pushing her too far. I think she would do good with a live in program of some sort for a good length of time, my aunt doesnt think so so much.

my aunt as well is a very kind, softhearted person. She grew up in the hippie era, lives out in the woods with her husband and dog and my old cat, in a log cabin. They lead a simple life, and my sister HATES this to death. It just isint cool enough for her. In her mind, she wants a car to herself, and a plasma tv, to be allowed to smoke in the house, and expects my aunt to give her LOTS of money, she asks for about twenty bucks a day usually. My aunt and uncle just dont have that kind of money and my sister is NOT thankful for anything they did.

On the good side of things I posted this in clydes corner too, they have had her on effexor XR for a couple weeks and back on adderal for a few days and she seems a little better.. Im hesitant to say much yet as we are waiting to see what happens later on, but shes a bit softer and not as cranky i think.

[Perna]

I was thinking your aunt was like mine (who will be 86 in April :-) and alone in parenting your sister. Turns out it sounds like she's my age, LOL.

I'm glad the meds are helping. I don't know if residential would help or not. My husband's nephew had residential when he was that age, a couple years ago and it helped. It's expensive though; my brother-in-law had to spend his whole inheritance from his father's death on the school.

I guess I'd try good humor, laughing gently at your sister's naive wanting $20 cash a day or plasma TV's, etc. I'd try to figure out a way to educate her about "how things work" in the real world.

[TexSinginMom]

My heart goes out to you guys. I have a 14 year old daughter that I feel is a all the time job just trying to stay ahead of her. Her dr gave her the new drug Vyvanse to help with her impulses but she developed a tic from it...so back on Concerta. The sad thing about this is...when she turns 18 it's really goning to be hard to manage her. These kids turn 18 and they call the medication shots and therapy shots.

Can she be placed in the hosp for a few days for observation? We have a hosp here that will take them for a period of time to get them back on track with meds, therapy, and family therapy. My daughter has Medicaid so they will only keep her for 7 days. I have never put her in the hosp but I see that day coming, as she is becoming more defiant.

I volunteer alot at the school to watch her and stay up on what she is doing. Your aunt may not be able to do this. My dghtr is in dance, and when she is leaving for school we do a dance bag check, to make sure nothing from the house is leaving here. I keep my purse locked in the car in the garage and the door to the garage locked and the key in my room...under my pillow. I tell my mom friends..."Sometimes you have to think a half step crazier then they do, andget ahead of the game."

[exploding_rocket]

I have ADHD and ODD too
its hard to control

try and get her on concerta - it works for me

so the update... is not good.

She is ABSOLUTELY REFUSING to take ANY medication... has been isolating herself (im pretty sure since she went cold turkey on the meds she is probably experiencing withdrawl from at least the effexor) and has gone back to her absolutelty cranky, mean, rebellious self.

She won't see a therapist, she says they are all stupid.. and worse names than that.

I haven't even seen her now that I am in my new apartment for almost two weeks.. when she is out its with her friends again and not with any of us.

My aunt would never force her into a hospital as she thinks doing anything of that nature will just force her to leave the house and go on her own.. I dont think we could anyways to be honest where she is 17. Plus, standing at over six feet makes her a little hard to force physically

[Perna]

I think choices have to be made by your aunt since she is physically abusing your aunt and so much larger and stronger. That cannot continue. I think force will have to be used to remove her from being able to hurt your aunt and to provide any hope of getting her into a better frame of mind. Her friends and running the streets and doing illegal drugs can only land her in a worse place? I think your aunt should take the chance of giving your sister a last chance and if she doesn't straighten out, she will have to let go of her for now; she's too old and "strong" to control by parenting at this point it sounds like.