[sunrise]

I was talking to a colleague of mine today at work about my potentially having ADHD. She has talked to me about two of her sons before, who were diagnosed with ADD, and we sometimes joke about how we too have ADD, since we have trouble with details, finishing projects, focusing, etc. For me, these problems have gotten worse over the last 5 years and now seriously affect my ability to function at work and home. I am just saying "help" I am overwhelmed and cannot get a thing done and my house and work environments are disasters and I can't sit still to move from point A to B. I feel so inept and embarrassed at my inability to do something simple like clean off my desk or prepare a series of invoices.

Recently I talked to my therapist about this, telling him my symptoms, and he suggested that they are consistent with having ADHD. Plus he noted that my response to a med a while back that can be helpful for ADHD cleared up some of my symptoms (I could finish stuff! I could focus! I could clean off my desk! --it was like magic), which again suggests I have this condition.

Anyway, my colleague at work was really resistant to the idea I might have ADHD. She kept arguing with me about why I couldn't have it. Huh? Why should she want me to NOT have it so strongly? She said, if anyone has it, she does, as she believes she is "worse" than I am. She doesn't know the half of my dysfunctional home life, so she has no context for this. I am not about to argue with her how about "bad off" I am and start listing my symptoms. I didn't want to get into an argument, so I dropped it. And after all, she could be right--it is not a given I have ADHD--maybe it is something else.

It was just so strange and offputting that my colleague cared so much about this and was so insistent I didn't have ADHD. It seems like my therapist would know more than she does. I was referred by him to another medical practitioner who deals with ADHD in adults and could prescribe me something, if needed. Gosh, my colleague really hated hearing that! She does not want me to see the specialist because she insists I do not have ADHD!

I don't know what is going on with her. Maybe she thinks I am trivializing her sons' problems by suggesting I have a similar condition. Or maybe since she says she is "worse" than I am, she has ADHD too, and she doesn't want to know that. Who knows. I guess I shouldn't have raised this with her, but we have a friendship and a history of discussing this topic and are usually very open with each other. I thought she would be interested and wish me well for my visit to the ADHD expert.

[chaotic13]

I think sometimes people think that someone who admits that they have ADHD is trying to find excuses for not doing their work or for not being successful. Before I was diagnosed with ADHD, my H would make comments about my inability to focus for a full 18 holes of golf, or say that I was a scatterbrain because I would misplace my keys. When I told him my T suggested that I might have ADHD, he was like the total BS. Then I was dx by a neurologist, he felt bad about teasing me.

Honestly, I think that everyone at times could answer affirmatively to a few of the items on the ADHD self assessment questionnaire. I think it is a matter of the degree of severity that others don't get. Or the fact that the we suffer these symptoms not only while doing non-preferred tasks but also when trying to do things that we like or want to do. I also think that the over Rx of medications without attempting to manage the symptoms in other ways also has soured people's perceptions of this condition.

[gardenergirl]

Great answer, chaotic! I agree with all you said.

Sunrise, about the colleague, it's hard to say exactly what's prompting her resistance. It's a shame that happened, though. It could be a combination of all of what's been suggested. Perhaps it's not a good topic for discussion between the two of you, at least for now until you find out more for yourself and decide how you want to handle it. What's most important is getting what you need to function and feel as well as you can, not what others think, imo.

Good luck!

gg