[greensky]

i'm going crazy here! my son's been on meds for 3 yrs now and continues to suffer. it breaks my heart. he's almost 6and is struggling in school and at home. any imput is appreciated.

[cheetah]

I found out I had ADD as an adult after I barely made it thru school cause I wasn't treated. Is your son seeing a mental health professional? If the meds he takes aren't working maybe a change is in order.

[chaotic13]

(((greensky)))

Sorry you are having to face this with your son. All I can say is... I was a handful to deal with as a child. My parents are no longer alive so they never heard the news that I had a medical condition. I'm not sure if they would be relieved or not. Maybe somewhat since they would know that my issues were not all their fault . All I can say to you is do your best to help him gain a wide variety of coping skills. Help him accept responsibility for his actions but without belittling. My parents were successful in helping me learn how to behave, not draw attention to myself, find success in school, and meet the demands of society. Their tactics may have left me with some deep battle wounds but I and successful in the ways modern society judges success. I have a good job, family, friends, several college degrees, etc... My K-12 teachers and neighborhood parents would not likely believe where I am today and frankly screw them. The feral child that they continuously said was nothing but trouble and would never find her way, has done well for herself.

Greensky,
Can you tell me more? In what area is he struggling? I teach special ed. and would like to help.

Chaotic,
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My K-12 teachers and neighborhood parents would not likely believe where I am today and frankly screw them. The feral child that they continuously said was nothing but trouble and would never find her way, has done well for herself.

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It is really disheartening to hear your school story, but I know that it is the story of many kids with ADHD. I have found that my first goal as a teacher is to increase their self-esteem and I do so by accepting them as they are. I don't feel the need to put them in a box. Am I frustrated at times? Of course, but I always say that the students with the most noxious behaviors are the most in need of empathy and help. I'm not surprised that you are so successful!

[Simcha]

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greensky said:
i'm going crazy here! my son's been on meds for 3 yrs now and continues to suffer. it breaks my heart. he's almost 6and is struggling in school and at home. any imput is appreciated.

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What sort of specific behaviors is he doing that are problematic?
In what manner is he struggling in school?

I apologize ahead of time if my comments below are offensive or invalidating in any way, because it isn't my intention to invalidate you or be offensive. I really just like solving problems.

I should preface by saying that it's extremely difficult to tell if a toddler or a pre-schooler has ADHD, and often what seems like ADHD behaviors at that age won't be there when they are 7 or 8... The diagnostic criteria for ADHD (in the DSM-IV-TR)state that they MUST exhibit the the qualifying ADHD criteria in TWO OR MORE SETTINGS, and most of the time, toddlers aren't in other settings long enough to be observed as having ADHD behaviors. Even if they are, they usually aren't being observed by professionals trained at recognizing ADHD in children.

I don't think one, two, or even three visits with a psychiatrist or pediatrician is enough time to tell. Even with kids as old as 10, their behavior might appear completely normal while in the controlled environment of the pediatrician or child psychiatrist's office.
That's not to say that some doctors aren't exceptionally good at diagnosing pre-schoolers though, but I'd question the accuracy of the diagnosis if three years of medication isn't helping.

There are a lot of overt behaviors that look like hyperactive/impulsive ADHD, but are either just normal, or actually something else. Conduct Disorder can seem like ADHD too, or it might occur together with the ADHD.
Sometimes the environment just needs to be modified a little bit. This might be something as simple as changing a certain parental technique or response, or changing bedtimes, or napping more frequently, etc. I don't know if that is the case with you or not though, I'm just spitting out ideas from what I read about childhood ADHD.

My best suggestion would be to get your son re-assessed for ADHD with a child psychologist. I say child PSYCHOLOGIST because they are usually better trained in diagnosing ADHD than child psychiatrists are.

I would also recommend a book for you called "Delivered From Distraction" by psychiatrist and a leading expert in ADHD--Dr. Ned Hallowell. It is also co-authored by Dr. John Ratey. Read as much as you can about ADHD, because it really helps in understanding and dealing with the frustrations and sometimes even--heartache, of ADHD.

It's really difficult to see our children suffer, and feeling helpless to change it. Just remember that you ARE NOT HELPLESS; you can get a grip on this, and don't ever quit or give up! I think getting your son re-assessed with a child psychologist is an excellent way of pro-actively dealing with a problem before he gets older and it affects him (and you) to a greater degree. Read the book I recommended--it's really good and isn't written like a boring medical textbook.

I really wish you good luck, and come back and tell us how it goes!

[AceMe]

I agree that the meds may be doing more harm than good.