[Cjewelar]

I went to the doctor today, and she diagnosed me as ADHD. Which I figured. Since it was pointed out to me, I've done a lot of research and it was just so clear to me, my husband, my parents, friends, & coworkers. Basically everyone I talked about it with noticed (although they never said a word before now). So anyway, the doctor started me on Adderall XR 15 mg and told me that was mid level for a first time on meds, but she said my symptoms made her want to start me there but she will probably adjust it next month. I'm feeling relieved to know that I'm finally gonna have something closer to normality than my current mindset. I don't like the idea of taking meds, I've always took meds as a last resort for anything, but if it will help, I'm willing to try. I still feel emotional though, I don't feel like I know myself. I always thought of myself as the unique one, that my differences made me stand out, but it's also been a lonely journey. My husband has been great though, super supportive, and he generally pushes me when I start flaking out, even though it annoys me at the time. But my mom shocked me. When I called her and told her the doctor agreed with us, she told me it was a joke of a disorder and that all the meds would do is hurt me. But I'm so hurt that she would belittle me about something that is really important to me! We've been through alot of stuff together (we both were in bad car accidents a year apart and both of us were hospitalized for a while and took turns taking care of each other). She told me that the doctor offered to put my little brother on meds when we were little and she didn't then because she thought it was stupid then. She told me to grow up and just get myself together. I'm so frustrated!!!!!!

[jen_9_crimes]

tell your mom how you feel that would help alot! the med wont change you or who you are it will just jelp you stay focussed i know this for a fact! good luck!

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by Cjewelar

I went to the doctor today, and she diagnosed me as ADHD. Which I figured. Since it was pointed out to me, I've done a lot of research and it was just so clear to me, my husband, my parents, friends, & coworkers. Basically everyone I talked about it with noticed (although they never said a word before now). So anyway, the doctor started me on Adderall XR 15 mg and told me that was mid level for a first time on meds, but she said my symptoms made her want to start me there but she will probably adjust it next month. I'm feeling relieved to know that I'm finally gonna have something closer to normality than my current mindset. I don't like the idea of taking meds, I've always took meds as a last resort for anything, but if it will help, I'm willing to try. I still feel emotional though, I don't feel like I know myself. I always thought of myself as the unique one, that my differences made me stand out, but it's also been a lonely journey. My husband has been great though, super supportive, and he generally pushes me when I start flaking out, even though it annoys me at the time. But my mom shocked me. When I called her and told her the doctor agreed with us, she told me it was a joke of a disorder and that all the meds would do is hurt me. But I'm so hurt that she would belittle me about something that is really important to me! We've been through alot of stuff together (we both were in bad car accidents a year apart and both of us were hospitalized for a while and took turns taking care of each other). She told me that the doctor offered to put my little brother on meds when we were little and she didn't then because she thought it was stupid then. She told me to grow up and just get myself together. I'm so frustrated!!!!!!

((((((((((Cjeweler)))))))))))

I think your doctor sounds really like he knows what he was talking about even from just the short snippet you posted here. I've seen and heard it all when it comes to doctors and even therapists knowledge of ADHD (especially in adults but kids too), and believe me that most of them don't know very much beyond surface level.

Surface level knowledge isn't appropriate to diagnose and treat ADHD, and it certainly sounds like your mother has some of that going on in the form of stereotypes about a complicated disorder that she obviously knows nothing about. There isn't much worse than to be INVALIDATED by people who are supposed to be the most supportive. She does sound frustrating, and something in me is telling me to tell you that I would never speak to her again about any of my health problems or anything else serious. Something also tells me that this isn't the first time your mother has invalidated you or even emotionally abused you. She might even have ADHD herself, and your diagnosis and treatment might be making her take a look at herself, forcing her to confront her problems (even if she doesn't tell YOU about it).

You went many years without seeking treatment for yourself. As an adult, it can feel very devastating to look behind you and see the trail of lost opportunities and destruction--even lost TIME--that has been left behind in the wake of ADHD. I was an adult when I was diagnosed and treated, only two years ago. You are doing all of the right things--taking care of yourself, learning as much as you can about the disorder, seeking treatment with a doctor who seems to take it seriously and seems to understand the disorder.

The only thing I would suggest is to seek counseling with a licensed clinical/counseling psychologist who can help with everything the medication can't. You also don't have to take medication every day, tailoring it to your personal needs and schedule. Fortunately stimulants aren't like taking antidepressants or some other psych. drugs where you have to build up and taper to come off. The stimulants half-life is very short, and leaves your body hours after not taking them. ADHD often "travels" with secondary conditions that were due in large part to having ADHD in the first place, and dealing with the "side effects" of the ADHD with a therapist will help you understand yourself in relation to the world and other people.

You can never get rid of ADHD, but once you learn to control it and manage symptoms, you'll find that the negative aspects about ADHD actually fade into the dark abyss, and the WONDERFUL aspects of ADHD shine through. The longer you are on medications, you will find it is easier to control symptoms when you are off of medications as well. You will probably find yourself adjusting and tweaking your stimulants as you find what works best for you.

What's wonderful about ADHD you say?
We are very resilient. We are more likely to live in the present than other people. We usually think faster, and when symptoms are controlled this is an excellent tool. We are a lot of fun, living in the moment more than in the past. We are usually capable of great ingenuity and creativeness, which comes from using different aspects of our brain than non-ADHD people, whose cellular and physiological anatomy of the brain are even different than ours. All of these things that make us feel and think a little differently can be a little isolating and confusing at times, and you'll find that stimulants (and any drug) are not a panacea or cure-all (even though they are usually a huge help). That's why discussing this with a professional licensed clinical/counseling psychologist with experience and skill in therapy for ADULTS WITH ADHD is such a good idea too.

The bottom line is that I think many of us here understand your frustrations. Stereotyping and shallow moralistic assessments of ADHD are quite common in the uneducated public. Most people, for instance, have no idea that you can have ADHD and not have the hyperactivity involved. Most people don't know there are three subtypes of ADHD (not to mention the ADHD "NOS"-Not Otherwise Specified" dx). There is no way to say this other than to directly say that your mother is dead wrong in her judgment. She has neither the education on ADHD, nor the skill in handling it that the professionals do. Your little brother (and you) probably would have been better off if she had followed doctors advice concerning the ADHD.

You hang in there--your doing it right. ADHD is a quite emotional disorder, highs to lows and everywhere in between. We can go from 0-10 in no time flat. Here is just one of my many trusted knowledge links on ADHD: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd...strategies.htm

[Cjewelar]

I was really fortunate that my GP (who I'm seeing) actually HAS ADHD, as well as her two kids, so she is very knowledgeable about it. She suggested a counselor, but I live in a small, tight knit community, so counselors are rare. I'm also a Counselor in Training at a treatment center, so I have a close working relationship with most of the Counselors in town. Our company policy won't allow us to go to the same counselors as my clients due to an ethics issue that happened many years ago. So my doctor is trying to research some alternatives outside of my area that my insurance covers that are available when I'm available. Hopefully she'll have something for me next month.

My mother has a very small town mentality. She has lived in the same area her whole life, and really doesn't concern herself with anything that doesn't concern her. She is very self centered and her opinion is the only one that ever matters. I've always thought she was jealous of me and my brother for getting out and moving to bigger cities. When I went to college she was so proud that I wanted to be a psychitrist, but when I decided that med school wasn't for me, my career became a joke to her. She now tells me I should have went into computers like my brother, because he actually makes money. She generally has snotty comments to hand out when I talk with her about my work. She doesn't understand that my work, which I absolutely love (working with my clients), is different from my job, which I hate due to the people I work with. I resigned myself many years ago that my mother will never understand me or even try to. I don't know why I thought that this would be any different.

On a positive note though, I've been on my meds a few days and feel better every day. I know it takes a few weeks to get fully acclimated to the meds though. My friends are amazed at how calm and focused I've been, as have I They've never known me to not be constantly moving/talking a mile a minute/having major mood swings, etc. I've ordered several books and have found several websites (the one you suggested is the first one I found ) that I'm learning lots from.

[shaeluv]

After reading your passage it is clear that you have to do what's best for you, regardless of how your mom or anybody else feels about it. I to believe that I suffer from ADHD. I've never went to a professional to be diagnoised, but some of the symptoms are there. My son who is now 14 was diagnoised with ADHD/PDD when he was about 3. He took Ritalin for a period of time and then my husband a I decided to take him off and let things just ride out. Since then he's progressed greatly. We still come to a few bumps with him but he's coming along. I sometimes wonder about myself and if I would be able to focus more or be on top of my game if I were on meds.

[psychrn]

i was just recently diagnosed with ADD too. I have so many diagnoses I don't know how I function at all. Just try to do what you need to do for yourself. If your mom had all the answers, you would not be where you are.