[emptyshred]

He has traits of asperger's, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, but he could also be just shy and quirky. He has difficulty adjusting to new situations, and would cry when he doesn't get his way or he is so worried that he will be different. A few months ago he developed a lip balm addiction. He slathers it on his skin around his lip, mostly when he is nervous. He freaks when he runs out or misplaces his tube. Last night he woke up without lip balm, and my husband give him another tube in a flavor he didn't like. So, he cried for half the night, and my husband even slept in the same bed trying to comfort our son without using the lip balm, like offering drinks of water, or counting sheep, or deep breathing. Maybe we are too spoling, letting him get so attached to something that is falsely giving him relief. His lips aren't dry, if anything it's creating a skin problem. We visited a psychologist, and he seemed the wrong one, he didn't offer any solid diagnosis or plan of action. We visited him 6 times with this distressing problem, and finally discontinued services with that man. I am trying to be a lay psychologist and research things I can do for him, but I never seem to figure out what I should be doing. I am very worried that starting a new school year will make his anxiety worse. The issues are bigger than buying him a tube of lipbalm everyday, I think it's a huge control issue. He also is a picky eater, and we limit activities if we think he can't handle it. We have a 5 year old that behaves more appropriately in public that our 8 year old.

[lonegael]

Can he tell you what it is about the lipbalm that he likes? is it primarily the smell, the taste or the consistancy? does he feel better having something to rub on himself (self comforting?) It's hard to know how to deal with these problems when often the child doesn't know what is wrong.

Has he been worked up by a professional? That might get you better access to people who could help you more. Hang in there. These obsessions can be very frustrating and distressing. Try giving him as much structure as you can at home, when he studies, when he sleeps, what routines he has should be followed as closely as you can when he starts in school again. That way he can at least know what to expect from minute to minute at home, even if school can be hard. Do you have contact with his new teacher?
Good luck! HUGGGS!

[Perna]

Hi, emptyshred, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I agree with lonegael that he needs looking at by a professional; if you are going to take him to a psychologist, take him to a testing psychologist: http://www..com/testing.htmguidetopsychology or child psychiatrist: http://www.aacap.org/. Your pediatrician might know of one to refer you to.

[Muser]

Hello, emptyshred It very well could be about control. You said the psychologist was a bad fit....you may have to try several before you find one that you and your son can relate to.

There might be an area in his life he feels he has no control over. I would gently try to figure out what that might be. Did it start when the younger child was born or when he got a new teacher??

If it's any consultation....a few years back my grandson would not eat...even at fun places and restaurants we wanted to go to.(we would even let him choose) His blood sugar would get so low he would get headaches and instead of having a fun outing we would be in the ER. He was so skinny it was scary. I have a few theories "why" he went through this but the point is now, only a few years later, he's a fantastic eater...very athletic, and healthy.

Your concern is warranted...but you are taking steps to assist him. Enjoy the confort and support here on PC. I trust you will find some answers

Best wishes,