new admission i think

i am not in the habit of admitting that autism and aspergers runs in my family. nor of admitting that pre-school i didn't talk, couldn't be touched without passing out, and tv/radio could not be put on as a rule without me screaming. nor do i readily admit that only recently could a small handful of very close friends hug me and get away with it (tho they would laugh knowing i was gritting my teeth).

there really is no point to this post beyond wondering if others have managed to learn the ways of "normal" folks and how hard it has been?

Hello, Roz_G. Your progress is wonderful.

When I was younger I tried so hard to fit in so I could make some friends. I was terrible and hated myself for it. My adolescence was extremely difficult, and filled with acting out and psychiatric hospitalizations.

Is being shy and introverted considered a normal adaptation? During my first 20 years of life, I was not this way at all. I became shy and introverted in response to all the alienation and ridicule. People were very nasty and took pleasure in hurting me. Now, I keep my distance and rarely approach anyone unless I need to or I find them interesting. This makes interaction with others more tolerable and it reduces the chance of rejection or being judged as strange.

I don't always like it but it seems to help maintain my sanity. Someday, I hope to find a better way.

A handful of good friends that you enjoy being with is always better than a plethora of jerks and bullies. I only try interacting with people I consider to be worth the effort, and in my case those people are few and far between. I learned early on that I was never going to be the kind of person that everybody likes, and I've more recently learned to just not care what the others think.

There'll always be people that are going to pick on you for something, and if you try to placate them, they'll merely find something else to pick at. Then there's a lot of people that expect you to go with the crowd, and they might look down on you if you don't. Then there's the people that like you for who you are, and are willing to look past the nuances and quirks to see the person underneath. Those are the people worth reaching out to, and every one of them will more than make up for all the rest.

That's my outlook, at least, and it's served me pretty well overall. At least, I have as much fun humorously discussing the anatomy of a cat's reproductive organs while eating lunch as the buffoons at the next table over who insist on throwing food and yelling obscenities. As I said, most people aren't worth it, but I've found my eye of the hurricane

Hey you!!!!
Ill tell you somehing... I really dont struggle with being asperges at all untill... The obsessive parts kick it. That is the terrible part. I dont like people much and i dotn care to much if they're bout or not. o. o
im just used to doing everything in a way i feel comftable with out it effecting me to much.... Well.. you know.