[SDGlambert5045]

As an Autistic adult child at almost 28 years old, I feel like I'm under many different kinds of constant threats by my mom about my bad behavior. All she ever always wants to do to is to send me away to live with my other parent or a relative on the other side of the country, being as a result of my bad behavior and with me constantly driving her crazy and giving her too much stress in her life. No matter how hard she tries to send me away for the rest of my life, she wants to do it by putting me on a plane alone and she wants me to live out of her life and for me to give her a break in order to save her health. So she can live a life and trying to prevent herself from dying of a heart attack as one of her decisions. I know it's a wrongful and bad idea, but why would she have to send me away to live out of her life?

I can't take it anymore, I can't. I really can't take it anymore with my overprotective and panic-stricken mother who is always wanting to obtain her biggest goal of all: she still keeps on wanting herself to send me off and away back to New York to live with either my father or my aunt. As a result of me driving her crazy too much and constantly stressing her out. She even says she has to do it because she's too old to live like this at all, and it's my biggest fear to be afraid of it. And it has always been a constant threat towards me. I know I don't want it to happen, but she says she wants it to happen in reality. And I know she wants to do it right away in order to give her a break, to save her health and keep herself from dying of a heart attack. If she suffers and dies from it, I'll be ended up living back in New York for the rest of my life, and that means no more living in San Diego. That's what she says. And she also says it'll be for my own good, if she thinks she wants it to happen somehow. Even when my strict and harshful aunt who says as she kept on demanding me to give my mom a break as a result and in order to do so.

Well, I am not getting myself to be sent away! Not in a lifetime like this!

Perhaps, it is time to move out on your own or into supportive housing.

[SDGlambert5045]

I don't know if I could, I'd rather move in with one of my friends than get sent off and away to New York (my former home on Long Island) to live with my dad or my aunt. That's why I'm afraid of letting it happen, and basically it's both my mom and my aunt (her sister)'s idea just because they keep on often bringing it up without cease and they think it's going to happen anytime. And so on, my aunt keeps demanding me to give my mom a break in order to save her health and stress her out. And if I get sent away for my own good, and that means I'm going to miss everything and my friends out here for the rest of my life!

[gma45]

Maybe you do need to give you r mom a break. Why are you behaving badly? You are old enough to move. Your mom shouldn't have to care for you forever. Maybe you need to change somethings and she wouldn't feel that way.

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by SDGlambert5045

As an Autistic adult child at almost 28 years old, I feel like I'm under many different kinds of constant threats by my mom about my bad behavior. All she ever always wants to do to is to send me away to live with my other parent or a relative on the other side of the country, being as a result of my bad behavior and with me constantly driving her crazy and giving her too much stress in her life. No matter how hard she tries to send me away for the rest of my life, she wants to do it by putting me on a plane alone and she wants me to live out of her life and for me to give her a break in order to save her health. So she can live a life and trying to prevent herself from dying of a heart attack as one of her decisions. I know it's a wrongful and bad idea, but why would she have to send me away to live out of her life?

I can't take it anymore, I can't. I really can't take it anymore with my overprotective and panic-stricken mother who is always wanting to obtain her biggest goal of all: she still keeps on wanting herself to send me off and away back to New York to live with either my father or my aunt. As a result of me driving her crazy too much and constantly stressing her out. She even says she has to do it because she's too old to live like this at all, and it's my biggest fear to be afraid of it. And it has always been a constant threat towards me. I know I don't want it to happen, but she says she wants it to happen in reality. And I know she wants to do it right away in order to give her a break, to save her health and keep herself from dying of a heart attack. If she suffers and dies from it, I'll be ended up living back in New York for the rest of my life, and that means no more living in San Diego. That's what she says. And she also says it'll be for my own good, if she thinks she wants it to happen somehow. Even when my strict and harshful aunt who says as she kept on demanding me to give my mom a break as a result and in order to do so.

Well, I am not getting myself to be sent away! Not in a lifetime like this!

Good God, I can relate to that. And hell yes, it does too hurt.
To find out why, just look for my thread "Abuse? 'Just me?' What do you think?"

By the way, welcome to Psych Central!

[Callista]

Why are you afraid of moving, other than the obvious stressful nature of a move?

Your mom isn't behaving very well herself. She's telling you that you're a burden who's going to give her a heart attack. That's not a nice thing to say whatsoever.

If you really don't want to move, there's got to be a way for your mom to get a break that doesn't involve you moving out completely. Have you heard of respite care? I know most of the time they are kids, but there are adult day care type services you could go to and your mom could spend the day by herself. There's also the possibility of moving into a group home, locally. I don't know how much support you need--whether you need 24/7 assistance or just a few hours a day, or even a few hours a week. Depending on that, an apartment plus hiring an aide could be the answer for you as well.

What I do know is that your mom constantly coming down on you like this is not good for you or for her, and is not right for her to do. What does she think it's like for YOU to live with her constantly telling you that you're a burden to her and she's going to die because of you? That's like constantly living with someone making death threats against your mother.

[JayJay2]

If your Mum wants you to move and you don't want to be 'sent away', maybe you could work together at finding a supported place to live or a flat and some daily help, something to suit you and where you can still be in contact with your Mum, it may be a relief to you both to arrange something that suits both of you.