[Anonymous37919]

I told someone I liked my key worker in 2013 when she was still supporting me, because I let my tongue run away with me. She was told that, so stuff went on behind the scenes that eventually changed my life forever. It changed her. It changed me.

I told a mistress I'd been having issues with people. She blabbed to another mistress who runs a BDSM joint because I said I'd went there. She did it to get me blacklisted. This resulted in a Spanish sub not wanting to meet me for coffee after I had gone there and had sex with her.

Last year, I said a friend of mine had a fight with a PA these two people know when we were waiting to be extras in a film. Then they told the woman. Later in the year following abuse from these people on Facebook to do with that movie, I tweeted to an actress about it who was not aware of any of this. She blocked me, then I got angry and ended up saying stuff, so she reported me to the authorities. Not only that, she told other film producers about me, so they blocked me as soon as I asked to be involved as an extra.

One night, I told a person on a site called Meetup I'd been in jail, and she refused to allow me into a group where people get together socially.

Can somebody tell me what the pattern is here? It should be obvious, but what do you notice? Do you think I'm telling people way too much personal stuff?

[PrairieCat]

Absolutely yes. You are telling people way too much personal information. For instance, you talk like everyone has mistresses. They don't. Most people would not advertise that they had been in jail. That is a negative thing in a person's life, so why tell people?

I hope you can stop doing that. It would be self-protective if you can be more private. Good luck!

[marom]

There's another way of looking at it - by being perfectly honest, he's not got to worry about living up to somebody else's false expectations. The World is a used car lot, after all, and it's sometimes refreshing to come across somebody who doesn't try to hide the dents!

[Anonymous37919]

Yes, but according to my first post, my honesty ain't exactly getting me very far with people, because what I'm saying puts them right off of wanting to be associated with me. Once you make negative sounding or otherwise alarming confessions, people always take the easiest route and ban you so they can evade you perhaps doing something like that to them. It's all BS, I know.

[Hobbit House]

Honesty is a good policy. I told my wife all my history before we got serious. However if your information doesn't pertain to the situation I don't think that I would necessarily volunteer it to just anyone.

[marom]

Originally Posted by Peter A

Yes, but according to my first post, my honesty ain't exactly getting me very far with people, because what I'm saying puts them right off of wanting to be associated with me. Once you make negative sounding or otherwise alarming confessions, people always take the easiest route and ban you so they can evade you perhaps doing something like that to them. It's all BS, I know.

It might not be what you're saying so much as saying too much at once - you're coming across as "intense" - say less until you get to know people better. Don't start w/an avalanche of personal information. That can scare people off faster than the information itself.

Originally Posted by marom

It might not be what you're saying so much as saying too much at once - you're coming across as "intense" - say less until you get to know people better. Don't start w/an avalanche of personal information. That can scare people off faster than the information itself.

Speaking as someone who is very "intense"....this is quite true. I recently made a friend who can handle my intensity and bring his own, so things are going well between us so far. I'm still learning how to reign in my intensity, but also finding people who can handle the fact that I am naturally an intense person. After all, the intensity will come forward at some point, so I can't hide that side of me forever!

[Anonymous37919]

Well, I'm not sure how you guys can think being honest is good all of the time; I guess from their point of view, they would have been unsure of me because I too have a tendency to be "intense" and the minute they read or heard a rambling manifesto about all the times I've been in trouble, they probably just thought the safest measure would be for them to back away.

It's like someone who carries the plague. They don't want it affecting them, so the people who are discovered to be infectious get exiled. Similarly, a guy with a track record of losing his cool and getting into hot water over it is classed as an undesirable person. They may perceive this sort of drama may be inflicted upon them. Yet I'm no longer going to be able to convince people that life isn't fair. They'll believe whatever they want to believe.

Have you ever heard the line about how what people don't know can't hurt them? Sometimes, it's better to say nothing, or find someone truly trustworthy to talk through your drivel.