I am very worried about my daughter, She was diagnosed with ASD in March this year however I had always knew something wasn't quite right with her she is now 15.

She is very withdrawn and has recently started a special needs school, This is her 3rd secondary school (high school) as the first one she was constantly bullied because she was so quiet so I removed her and sent her to another school, The second one is when she got the diagnosis of ASD and they were fantastic with her but she couldn't cope with a full day at school so she did part time and the head of department recommended that she went to a school for Autism in which she started in September, Moving on to present day she so dislikes going out and constantly thinks people are talking and looking at her, She is saying that she has no friends (this is so upsetting) she is saying her classes at school are really noisy.

We went on holiday a couple of weeks a go and she didn't want to leave the hotel, She is always checking the doors to make sure they are locked, checking the blinds to make sure they are shut properly, She becomes upset very easily, As a mother it breaks my heart I feel helpless, I give her hugs and tell her everything will be okay, Her first high school I think has knocked all confidence out of her as she has this terrible fear of being bullied wherever she goes, The only place she feels safe is at home, She won't go out at all only to school, She did see a psychologist but the T stopped the sessions because my daughter wouldn't talk to her as my daughter also has selective mutism.

Thanks for reading.

[wisedude]

Wow sounds like a difficult situation. I don't have any personal experience with ASD kids, but she does sound a bit OCD.

Maybe she needs another therapist. She is very lucky to have you though.

[rosska]

Sounds very like me at that age, I had a lot of trouble with bullying at school sadly and it did leave me with very little confidence. My AS symptoms did get a lot worse because of it. We like structure, routine, sameness, it's in us to the core, it's who we are. Bullying is a horrendous experience for any child, but when you lack the ability to understand social situations at the best of times, it can be even worse.

I'm not trying to say that it would be easier for non AS children to be bullied, what I mean is that because we already know in ourselves that we're different to others around us, bullying can make us feel that everybody else in the world knows we're different and doesn't like us because of it. That is hard when our neurology is the only difference and there's nothing we can do about that.

I would suggest seeking another therapist, perhaps one who has experience with ASDs as that could help a lot. Other than that, just keep doing what you're doing. Be there for her, without being over bearing. She will already feel an enormous amount of pressure to 'conform' and be 'normal' from her peers, and I know from experience that if she feels the same from her family then she's likely to shut off to the world completely.

I used to hate school, I skipped more than I attended. Sadly I didn't get diagnosed until recently so I got no help at school. Classes of thirty odd people when you have sensory hyper sensitivity can be a nightmare. I never used to be able to concentrate, I was so aware of every little noise, every movement of my classmates, my eyes constantly shifted around the room and I could see everything that was happening all the time. That is something that non AS people probably will never understand.

The teenage years for AS people are usually the hardest, since that's when our peers start to develop more advanced social skills, whilst our brains are still at a different stage of development. Sometimes we're ahead of the curve and sometimes behind it, but rarely on par. It does get a little easier, but only if we get the right support when it's important.

Like I said, sadly I didn't, and now I've developed OCD and DID as defensive 'coping' mechanisms. It's not uncommon for people on the spectrum to be more prone to these sorts of things.

I really hope you manage to get some more help for your daughter, and for yourself.

[Victoria'smom]

My son's only 11 but he's on medication that helps his destress and OCD behavior of every day life. He's also on adhd medication to help him focus. He has moved his skin picking to his head and has always been afraid of hair cuts so we no longer require them unless visiting family. I think one of the best things we were able to do is home-school him. That way he socializes with more understanding children that try to involve him as much as he's willing. He just wouldn't be able to handle school. Please tell me how she likes the ASD school as we are looking at one when we move.

I think you need to find her a therapist that is willing to work through art and possibly look into occupational therapy. My son has 3 friends but requires them to come here instead of going to their house.

[catsrhelm]

Please not only take her to a different therapist, but also a PDoc. It is possible to have ASD and another mental illness. Sounds like she could have OCD, or anxiety, or even PTSD from being bullied. In the meantime, continue to be there for her. It makes a difference.