[dumburn]

Hi folks, just looking for a bit of information. Someone I know has a 19 year old son and she is at her wits end with him and his behavior.
I've known them for about 7 years and the son has always been a bit different - Very socially awkward, no concept of personal boundaries, cant carry a conversation unless its about about the 3 subjects that he finds interest in.
The problem is since he finished school he is struggling to keep a job because he lacks any kind of flexibility or the ability to use initiative to get things done without being told to directly.

Anyway i'm 90% convinced he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum, had a chat with his mum this morning and suggested it, and after reading through the signs with her she agrees.

So the questions are

Is it worth trying getting a formal diagnosis?
How do you get a diagnosis?
if we do get a formal diagnosis is there actually any support available?
And finally how do you convince a 19 year old man that he might have something worth getting checked out?

Cheers guys

[manwithnofriends]

Well if he is diagnosed now , what good will it do to him? Will he now have to "learn" what is expected of "normal" people and be unable to work until he knows? You can't be a child more than once in your life y'know.

[dumburn]

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

Well if he is diagnosed now , what good will it do to him? Will he now have to "learn" what is expected of "normal" people and be unable to work until he knows? You can't be a child more than once in your life y'know.

TBH we don't know, that's why i'm asking.
He's getting increasing frustrated and withdrawn as since he finished school in May, hes lost two jobs due to his difficulty working with other people and walked out of another because he didn't like being asked to do different tasks that he wasn't expecting.

I guess we're looking for success stories of any kind.
If people we're diagnosed as adults what prompted them to go get a diagnosis?
Was the result a positive thing? if so, how? and if not why not?

I hope i'm not coming across as rude, ignorant or offensive, but we're just trying to get more informed and asking questions to real people is sometimes the best way to do it.

[rosska]

I have to disagree with manwithnofriends on this one. Getting a diagnosis, no matter what age you are, is worth it. I'm 27 and only got diagnosed this year (also in the UK). It was/is hard to come to terms with it since I'm not a child and it probably would have helped a lot more to know when I was growing up. Though that doesn't mean I'd never have wanted to know just because I'm already an adult.

I have a lot of difficulties with life on a daily basis. I've never known why a lot of my difficulties were so, but now I do and that makes a massive difference. Sure it'll never undo things from childhood, but it does still make a difference to who I am today. I now understand why I am the way I am, why I think the way I do, and why I struggle to interact with people around me.

Sadly for me to get a diagnosis, my life reached a rather critical point and I ended up having a bit of a break down and being taken to casualty and being assessed by an emergency PDoc. At the time, he wanted to commit me for a few days of observation but since he couldn't prove I was a risk to myself or others and I didn't want to stay, he couldn't.
He did however refer me to his superior who saw me the following week and after one hour with me she was convinced that the root of my problems came from AS, plus a side note of OCD and DID.

She then referred me to a specialist clinic in Edinburgh who carried out an assessment for AS specifically. The assessment lasted about 6 hours, involved a tonne of questions (like seriously, I've never answered so many questions in my life), she spoke with my mother at great length too about me as a child, about other family members etc. After that she conferred with her colleagues and a week later got back in touch to confirm that she was officially diagnosing me with High Functioning Autism/Aspergers Syndrome.

It's strange, but seeing that in writing provided me a relief that I can't actually begin to explain. Sure, it doesn't hand me a big fix or a magic wand to go back in time, but at least I know why now and that DOES make a difference.

As for the OCD and DID, well those aren't really quite as comforting to know about, but at least I know I'm not suffering from psychosis which is what the original guy was worried about haha.

For diagnosis in the UK I think you do have to go through your GP or a PDoc. You may be able to find a private clinic to save the referral, but that would involve going private and having to pay for it which could be quite expensive. The NHS tends to have longer waiting times, but at least you don't have to pay.

Also, a final note in reference to manwithnofriends post where he said about meaning he'd have to change and become "normal". That's totally not what my PDoc is working with me for. For one, there is no "normal" for the Human condition. My PDoc and the support groups I've seen, mainly focus on helping us to understand others around us, and to help our family and friends better understand us and our needs. It's not about converting people.

[dumburn]

Thanks rosska. I'm sorry things got so bad before you got your answers. I think that is the sort of thing we'd like to prevent, as he seems to be getting quite depressed, and constant conflicts with his mum aren't helping

Originally Posted by rosska

My PDoc and the support groups I've seen, mainly focus on helping us to understand others around us, and to help our family and friends better understand us and our needs. It's not about converting people.

exactly, we're not looking to make him "normal" were just hoping that somehow he can get help to function (sorry can't think of a better word) a bit better and understand why people often find him difficult and annoying.

I'm glad your family and friends are also getting help understanding your needs, I think that would be hugely beneficial to these guys