[phaset]

I am starting my assessment on Monday. I had some sort of one at school when I was younger which I don't know the results of, but that was back in the dark ages. Ten years ago a professor described aspergers in class and almost everything he said sounded like me and have wondered if this was the cause of my problems since then. Reminders of this keep coming up. A few months ago I asked my therapist what she thought and before I could finish she was offering to refer me. I wasn't looking for a diagnosis, I just wanted to know if she thought it was a possibility, but she refused to give me an answer either way.

Initially my therapist referred me to a neuropsych but there is no way I could afford to pay what they wanted. Recently she gave me the name of a psychologist who appears to be a local expert, and who also happens to also be a professor at my old university. I set up an appointment with him.

I can't stop worrying about the assessment. What if I say the wrong thing and sway the it in the wrong direction? He said he wants to meet my parents, who I very much don't want to know anything about my mental health issues. I think that no matter what the result is that I will take it badly. To make matters worse my wife thinks I am just wasting money because it won't change anything. I suspect she doesn't want to know and fears the result.

I don't know why I am posting this but my anxiety has been through the roof for weeks thinking about it. Hopefully it will all be over soon.

[manwithnofriends]

It's not the end of the world if you have a mental health condition. Of course, if the people closest to you are unwilling to accept then you know it's not your fault i.e. you didn't suddenly start to think "oh I want to have Asperger's" did you?

[rosska]

If I'm honest, I think the people who say "it wont change anything" have clearly never spent their lives wondering why they were different to others. It's easy to dismiss it when you've never felt it. I'm 27 and only recently diagnosed. The diagnosis isn't going to change my past, it's not going to undo all the pain and suffering or all of the hardships, but it may just make the future a little easier knowing what I'm working with. I take comfort in that.

It's nice to not be in a room full of people and feel like I'm a freak because I'm the only one who doesn't want to talk to those around me, or who gets uncomfortable if people brush against me, or who can't keep their eyes still because there is so much going on and I can't focus. Knowing why that's happening, why I feel that way, makes a difference.

I can understand why you wouldn't want your parents involved. It's not something that as an adult you would necessarily share with your parents. Though it is normal for them to want/need that. Most of the signs of AS occur when we're children. As we grow up, diagnosed or undiagnosed, we learn coping skills which mask some of the problems we face. When I was going through my assessment, the doctor spoke with my mother at great length about what my life was like as a child and how I reacted to different situations. The sorts of things that I wouldn't remember because I was too young.

I really hope it all goes well for you, one way or the other.

[phaset]

manwithnofriends, actually she did accuse me of wanting to have aspergers... It's not my first mental health issue that I've dealt with, but I do admit it would be nice to know the cause of my problems.

rosska, I agree.

Thanks for the replies.

[Lexi232]

I agree with Manwithnofriends and Rosska.

And just because those in your life don't want it to be true, doesn't make it untrue. the diagnosis explains so much, that it is truely a relief. And it also gives some detailed insight on ways to cope that no one else has suggested, but works great for those with aspergers. I've been questioned why, all of my life. And been told how i should be, think, act, speak, look, etc. But they never said how i was supose to do that.

Try not to worry about the test, and the what if's.. try not to over-think the questions. Really there are no right or wrong answers. Either way, you find out what you wanted to know. If you do or if you dont.

[phaset]

My first two hours is over and I survived. He said I have symptoms from a lot of things. I have a few more sessions with him and I should know in a couple weeks.

[WePow]

I understand why it is so important to understand yourself. I am 43 and have been in therapy four years. But I finally went to an expert in this field. I was also afraid of the results. How would I feel about who I was if the answer was yes... or no... Or unable to be determined. I did not even realize that was a test result option!
But when the answer came back... it happened to be yes... years of living in shame over not being like the other girls was wiped away. If the answer was no... I would have at least know that my issues were not due to that particular cause.
Either way, I was happy that I was brave enough to search out my truth.

[phaset]

I finished the last bit of testing this morning. I think I made the right choice to pursue it, and the right person to do it. I should have the results in about a week. I am glad its over, but I am worried about the results.

[phaset]

I've changed my mind about this being the right person. Initially he had said the results would be back in 3 days and that I would have the final appointment within a week. It is now almost a month after I last saw him, and I have only heard from him once. A few weeks ago I had a call from my mother and she said that he hadn't called her yet. I asked him for an update two weeks ago and he replied several days later saying the last test hadn't come back yet. Today I asked my mother if he had called and he hasn't. I feel like I have fallen through the cracks. Unfortunately I owe him money as he didn't know how much I owed him last time I saw him.

I see my therapist later today and I am guessing she is going to want me to call and ask for an update again. Does anyone have any other ideas on how to get this to move forward?