I speak sailor, but no one else does around here.

<sailor_speak>RANTRANTRANTRANT I am pissing myself off RANTRANTRANTRANTRANT</sailor_speak>

Seriously?

Is it possible to just become more autistic?

Like... autistic me in a concentrated form?
I hate sounds and smells and certain touches to the 10th power at this point, I don't get along with anyone and can't figure out how to fix that. My tolerance for change is really through the floor- but so is the threshold for all my 'mysterious' neuro symptoms. I am messing up language, I constantly mishear people. My brain can't process even more than the usual stuff that clutters it up.

I feel like there is something so wrong, and no idea what or how to fix it.
It seems kind of like it's me plus some bizarre brain crap that no one wants to hear about.

I don't get jokes, when I make jokes everyone thinks I'm serious.
Also, everyone else knows what i'm feeling, like way better than I do, at any given moment. Apparently.
On top of everything else.

I am just reaching this whole "wow, I hate people and everyone hates me" and I don't even want to engage with more than like three people on earth.

If I don't, though, all of this will become worse.
I feel like I seriously lack understanding of the entire world lately, and i don't know where to find this previous insight I had.

If you have a job and can sustain yourself I don't think that really matters.

Whelp, guess I'm screwed, then.

I really don't think holding a job should be the way people judge how successful they are at coping with life. I know several people who work all the hours under the sun, but are incredibly un happy and constantly swimming in debt.

I know what you're getting at though, Josie. I go through stages where I just find it impossible to even consider facing the world because it's just too much. Usually over the winter months I seem to get a lot worse (probably due to SAD). I get very withdrawn, I find it a lot more difficult to face other people or to understand situations going on around me. I tend to lock myself away in my room and just hope people will leave me alone for a few months. Sadly, they rarely ever do.

I speak sailor, but around here it's against the rules.

I believe it is possible that you haven't found ways to treat your autism yet, and that is what is making things worse. You have to get creative when treating the beast and sometimes even go on medication.

What do you mean by "speak sailor"?

Sailor Speak