Sick of hearing all this 'autism is great' crap!

I am the same. With my IRL friends I try to keep it light, not shallow but not really talking about "my stuff"... rather we talk about life stuff. I really don't want to burden them either and as it happens, I'm the one people come to IRL and it is basically always asked of me to be strong.

I need somewhere where I can be "weak" and ask for someone to support me. If someone sees that as some kind of flaw or not trying hard enough, they totally misunderstand my intentions.

Everyone needs understanding at times. If that is whining... than so be it.

The Asperger's was a portal or gateway in my life for a whole bucket load of other issues and demons. It's the underlying cause and it in itself is not an issue, it's actually quite cool being so "unique" but it has opened the door for other really nasty things to come into my life (depression, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, regular insomnia, addictions, etc.) that plague the hell out of me and virtually cripple me mentally.

I have to agree with -Jimi- and Hellion, none of us are under the impression that complaining will make things better but this is a support forum for mental health issues so if we can't complain about what's getting us down here then where the hell can we?

Also as has been pointed out, you don't really know anything about our lives other than what we post on here so assuming we're all limited to only having AS, or OCD etc based on this one thread is a pretty bad assumption to make on your behalf.

Like -jimi-, I too have physical health problems which 4 out of 7 days of the week leave me bed bound. On the days where I am out of bed I'm in constant pain still. I take so many pain meds that I'm on first name terms with the staff in my chemist and never come out with anything less than a carrier bag.

I also go to support sites for those conditions to complain about the symptoms those cause when they are getting me down. Sure, it doesn't stop the pain, or give me a tonne of energy and get me out of bed when my legs can't support my weight, but it does make me feel like I'm not the only person in the world who's going through it and that helps my general mood. But if you asked one of my friends from where I live, I bet they couldn't even tell you the last time I complained about how down I get or how much pain my body is in.

My best friend, who has a lot of similar mental health issues and has gone through a lot of similar things in her life (she lost both her parents a year apart and my dad died in between her parents when we were 20/21), often discuss the fact that everybody is different and everybody copes with things differently. But nobody has a monopoly on a 'hard life', we all have points in our life where we need someone to help us through.

I was happy about it at first, that autism is great. I’m not sure if I have it or not, but it seem I don’t have any special skills, and I don’t mind I just want to be like everybody else.

Maybe my previous post might have come across as a bit harsh and I apologise if I offended anybody here and you are right. I don’t know you just like you don’t know me and I wouldn’t have a clue what other problems you have or what is going on in your life but it appears to me from your starting post you are blaming all the problems in your life on having Autism which is rubbish and there are plenty of people in this world with Autism and other similar disabilities that are living happy and successful lives. I have Asperger’s too and even though I have had a lot of problems over the years because of it I have quite a few friends now, I am not lonely and I don’t have an inability to talk to other people and for the first time in my life I do feel accepted. Many of the problems you mentioned on your first post can be worked on and if you want to have more friends you need to work on your social skills.

The problems other members mentioned on this thread such as panic attacks and being bed bound have nothing to do with Autism and I am sorry you have them but blaming them on Autism is rather pointless.

I am hardly blaming all my problems on autism, but that is a contributing factor as its made me come off as being 'odd', 'weird' or 'a bit off' which unfortunately in this society seems to be something you get relentlessly picked on for...so going to public school I feel quite a lot of damage was done to my mental health due to that...so yeah I am a little bit bitter about that since it was not my choice to be exposed to that for years in public school, so it pisses me off that was done and there was nothing I could do about it....and I certainly can't go back and do anything about it now.

Also autism isn't a bed of roses...it has its own difficulties aside from people treating you like crap for being different from them or not 'fitting in' , like executive functioning issues, sensory issues, not being able to initiate a social interaction and things that can really make a day more difficult and complicated than one would think. I was in a rather bad mood when I initially posted this thread...but yeah I am not saying there are no positives, but its annoying when people act like autism is some special gift...when the truth is it would not be considered a mental disorder if it didn't cause some form of significant impairment in functioning.

Also I am glad there are autistic people who are happy and successful, I just happen not to be one. Also I am not really worried about having more friends at this point, I have a few friends/aqantinces and close family members to interact with I've also attempted multiple relationships...as for working on social skills not entirely sure how one would do that I mean I have became more concious of how I might come off and am better able to avoid accidently offending or seeming rude...but then there are other things like I simply cannot initiate an interaction with someone I do not know unless it is in the context of like a cashier at the store I have strained my brain very hard trying to force myself to be able to do that to no avail, then with eye contact...not only is it hard for me to concentrate on that, and the conversation at hand but it is extremely uncomfortable....so I guess with social interaction sometimes one has to choose their battles and realize you can't make everyone happy and some people are going to be jerks regardless.

Also I was not blaming anxiety or being bed bound on autism, those are obviously parts of the anxiety, PTSD and depression(though I am not ever really 'bed bound')...though I think being treated how I was going through public school due to seeming 'weird' because of my neurological difference certainly contributed to all of those however...so in a sense perhaps the autism plays a role but of course autism does not 'cause' depression, anxiety or PTSD...never really claimed that it did, looking back at my posts I can't even see anywhere where it looks like I have implied that.

One, anxiety and panic attacks are common with autism disorders. Two, I mentioned having other health problems which leave me bed bound when talking about not only having an ASD in response to your assumption that all of us only had ASDs. I at no point said they were related to my AS.

I think the anxiety and panic thing was pointed at me. Sure, anxiety and panic happens in other conditions else than Asperger's, but it does happen more easily in people who have low latent inhibition meaning their brains don't screen as heavily as other brains. This is a perfect setup for an anxiety disorder. It doesn't mean that all people with anxiety have low latent inhibition or that all aspies have anxiety... but it is more COMMON in LLI people to have anxiety.

I wouldn't trade my positives of my aspieness to get away from the anxiety... unless I have a real panic attack.... then I could probably offer almost anything to have that crap stop! I really really really hate panic attacks.

For what it's worth, I've just read this entire thread for the first time, and I didn't pick up on anyone blaming all the problems of their lives on Autism. How it factors into one's life, sure. But the degree of cause and effect being suggested above seems to me to be more a product of personal interpretation (and perhaps also a need to vent) than of the tone of the thread itself. IMO.

I for one find the candid discussions that happen here an incredibly valuable resource; an enlightening prism through which to more objectively see the way in which aspects of my own life, warts and all, may be affecting me as well as others. If it was just a big "rah-rah" fest, and "go team", with everyone only ever talking about how fantastic everything is all the time, there'd be no point all! It would just be a hologram of a pretend-conversation in which reality would become a half-alive prisoner. Right? The Prisoner? Anyone?

You are missing the point Hellion.

Why do you want to be normal? I spent most of my teenage years studying others and pretending to be ‘normal’ to hide my disabilities and it was boring and the only time I time I ever felt like I could be myself was when I was with my best friend because she never judged me for having ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or OCD and loved me regardless of them and if I could go back in time all these years later and change one thing it would be I never let anything my Father said about my disabilities get to me because every time he called me a ****up, a spastic or a retard and beat the **** out of me when he was drunk he wore me down and made me hate myself for not being the so called ‘perfect’ and ‘normal’ son he wanted but now I see I never wanted to be ‘normal’ and I like being different.

I am comfortable with myself and who I am and if people don’t like me because of my disabilities it is their problem and not mine because I have people like my Wife, my Sister, my daughters, my cousins and my close friends that love me and accept me for having them and they are the people that I love and mean the most to me and I don’t give a damn what others think. You said on your post you want to be accepted –accepted by who? The people that you said treated you like ****? Ask yourself if you were ‘normal’ Hellion would you really want to sink down to that level knowing full well what type of people they really were or would you want to be with people that accepted you regardless of having disabilities and didn’t put others down for having them? I just wrote a post on another thread about my Father never loving me because of my disabilities and I wouldn’t want to be normal to make him love me because I see that he is a prick now.

You sound young and I am assuming you haven't had much experience with people outside your age group but as you get older you will discover the real world is not like school and there are people out there that will accept you for having disabilities and some might even love you for them like my Wife and my Sister love me but if you become bitter you let them win. I think your parents shouldn’t have sent you to a public school and they should have found a school that was more accepting of children with disabilities or they could have home schooled you or paid for a tutor. My Wife was bullied every day when she was young and she didn’t send my step daughter to a public school because she didn’t want her to go through the same thing and with all the stories we have been hearing about them on the news and from friends we won’t be sending any of our children to public schools.

I am sorry if I misinterpreted your first post but judging from the heading and the sentence below I assumed that was what you were doing

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Sorry but aside from the few positives I have found in the disorder, it sucks over-all. Maybe some autistics are perfectly happy to pursue special intrests without other people around...but some of us are lonely, we want freinds and we want to be accepted.

As for the panic attacks, I respectfully disagree rosska just on the basis I have met a lot of people with Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, ADD, ADHD and OCD over the years and not one of them had panic attacks and the people I have met that suffer from panic attacks were suffering from anxiety disorders which is not to say you can’t have both but I don’t think it is a part of Autism.

Hi BobbyDavis, I don't mean to be argumentative, but OK, you say that Hellion, and others like her (us with autism/Asperg./ADHD) should realize that the world out there, especially when you get older, will contain people that will love you. I couldn't agree more, I don't think every other living person has bad intentions and that every normal person bullies people like us. There are good people in the world. But, to find them, it is the implication that we should not hide and be afraid of venturing into the world, we should be braver, go out there and then we'll find them. Still with you, I couldn't agree more.

However, then we get to the part where your wife says that she doesn't want to put your children through public school because it is hell for people with disabilities, and even normal children for that matter, so to avoid the children going through the hell of being bullied and all the stuff you hear on TV, she decided to protect them from that, and that is very honourable for her to do, because I'm sure private schooling works out a lot more expensive than normal school does. But, just reflect for a minute. Aren't you then doing what was mentioned previously, withdrawing and letting "them" win? The world IS nothing but a giant school-yard. People never grow up. They are the same spoilt brats at 50 then what they were at 5. Their "toys" and "wants" have just changed - it's just that now they are more expensive/more difficult to obtain adult-orientated things instead of a candy bar in a shop. They still walk over others, bully and torment people "weaker" than them (which will include people with autism) to get what they want. I'm not trying to argue, I agree with what you say, and I agree, you have the fullest right to protect your children from the "element" or "bully-in-a-hoodie" culture present in the school system, hell, even in the world's neighbourhoods, today. But, therefore, people like us need help and a little protection in the real world too. We are not well-equipped enough to deal with what the world is bringing at you all the time. I agree if we just try, we could probably cope with 95% of issues, but there will be that 5% where we fail, possibly even fatally so, you never know. People like us might have conflict with others sometimes, but we are naturally not "fighters". We cope rather ineffectively in confrontational or violent situations, and would probably come off worst if there was a fight.

^I don't really want to be normal, if I came off that way it wasn't intentional...my whole point of this thread is just that autism does cause difficulties, in reality it is a neurological condition and its diagnosed if the symptoms cause you impairment in functioning...its not all rainbows and butterflies, it comes with some very real struggles and unplesantries that should be acknowledged. When I posted this I was seeing a lot of stuff that ignores all the difficulties and tries to paint it as some amazing gift some people are lucky enough to be born with...rather than the condition it is.

Also growing up I got constantly bullied and ostracized throughout school, that was a painful experience...during that time I would have liked to have a friend or two rather then constantly being stuck around a bunch of people that didn't like me with no support of any kind. Just saying it really sucks when no one accepts you for who you are and just treats you like crap, its not like I want the acceptance from the people who directly caused me trouble...but a lot just didn't want to get picked on themselves or this or that so I guess I think it would have been beneficial if accepting peoples difference was encouraged in school more so maybe people wouldn't have seen my being different as a reason to bully and ostracize. Of course I prefer people who accept me for how I am disabilities and all....but I did not have the luxary of getting away from people who didn't accept me and picked away at any self confidence I may have had to go hang around accepting people being a child required to go to school....that did damage to my mental health whether I like it or not. Of course now I have more choice as to who I am around...but doesn't undue the damage from the years of bullying and ostracize.

Also I actually have had plenty of experience around people outside my age group....and sadly much of the time I am reminded how much like public school it can be in the real world....I used to look forward to the idea of 'oh well the real world is nothing like that.' But there is still lots of drama, people getting stigmatized for things like being mentally ill, homeless or struggling financially...lots of victim blaming, people ganging up on each other and immaturity. I also live around a city so I see a lot of people, and hear a lot about things going on since I tend to observe and hear a lot of peoples conversations.

My parents didn't know I had autism, and even if they had not so sure they could have afforded a school that dealt with people with disabilities...or what the state of homeschooling was in the early 90s or if they could have afforded a tutor....but either way they didn't know, I didn't get diagnosed till I was 23. Also though homeschooling might not have been much better since they ended up divorced and up until that point their relationship deteriorated with more and more arguing....for a while I would try to predict if they would be getting along with each other this week, or if they would be not talking to each other except for arguing.

Also I did not say panic attacks are caused by aspergers...I've already said I have anxiety and PTSD which would be the cause of those. However a lot of studies and such show that depression and anxiety are very common co-morbid disorders for autism...so there is some question as to whether having AS makes one more prone to those in general, or if its simply how a lot of people with autism are treated which contributes to those disorders or both...still don't think it is 'part of autism' per say. Though with sensory issues too much sensory overload has caused me anxiety/panic...not quite the same as a panic attack I suppose more meltdown, though it could easily look like a panic attack to an outside observer...also I have had times where not sure whether its sensory stuff getting to me, or anxiety stuff so not sure its even always apparent to the one experiencing it if its a panic attack or autism related sensory overload reaction.

There. You said it StbGuy. Most of us ‘aren’t’ naturally fighters and have trouble handling things such as conflict and violent situations like others but this was not what many uneducated journalists were writing the morning after Elliott Rodger went on his so-called killing spree and according to them you and I are psychopathic murderers devoid of any emotions and empathy for other people because we have the new disease known as Asperger’s Syndrome. The shock...The horror… Over the past decade various forms of American media have gone out of their way to put us down for having disabilities in everything from mainstream books, magazines, movies, newspapers and TV shows and it is this form of discrimination which is one of the main reasons why young people with disabilities are singled out and bullied on a day to day basis and the suicide rates continue to grow every year. This is seen as an acceptable form of discrimination by many people in high positions because we are the minority.

I believe it was Martin Luther King Jr in the mid-sixties that said the way African American characters were portrayed on TV was important because it influenced the way that the rest of society saw them as human beings and just looking at the way people with disabilities are being portrayed in TV shows now it is pretty obvious how they want us to be seen. Ask yourself, when was the last time you saw a character in a TV show or movie with Asperger’s Syndrome or a similar type of disability that was not used as the comic relief, the wimpy character that gets bullied or the weirdo that lives in his parent’s basement and is revealed to be the serial killer the cops are looking for? Where are all the successful people with disabilities that children like my step daughter can look up to because they are out there and there are more of them in this world than most people actually realise but they keep it quiet?

You might ask what this has to do with this thread. It has everything to do with it because if we want things to change we have to change them ourselves because the people in the positions that can are not going to change things for us and will only make things worse. The reason homosexuals are more empowered now is because the gay and lesbian community works together and stands up to various forms of discrimination and if people with disabilities were to do the same we could take that power into our hands and make the world a better place for future generations but you need to stand up to the people that put you down or they are just going to walk all over you. When someone pushes you around you need to push them back and by saying that I am not suggesting being violent but you can tell them you aren’t going to take their **** anymore and turn the tables back on them for a change.

My Wife had a lot of different reasons for not sending my step daughter to a public school and being bullied was only one of them and the other one was she is very advanced for her age like her Mother was but she is only 11 and she can already do Year 12 level English, Math and History and speaks in 3 different languages and she comes out with things that confuse me and my Wife. Courtney goes to a special school that does cost a lot of money but she is happy and even though she is very smart she’s still a kid and she likes many kids her age like. We haven’t withdrawn ourselves from the world and if anything, my Wife is a very public person now and wants to be Prime Minister but we choose to only associate with certain people and I have met many wonderful people going to our church.

Seems like i make it to coping with maybe up to 50%, and even that is pushing it...trying any harder past that point usually backfires.

To Hellion, thanks for that . I so get where you're coming from. It's the same thing with me, my parents were more interested in fighting with each other than ever noticing that I might be different to other kids my age, when I was still a little boy. Also, it's like you say, our family was just as poor, there was no money for such things as special school for me, I just had to go where all the other kids went. Hah, when I was 5 (1994), it was the first time they ever defined what is known as Asperger's syndrome today. When I was small (and you're roughly the same age as me) people only thought a child was either autistic (never spoke and never played with toys/lined them up, seemed oblivious to his/her parent(s) and didn't like hugs or showing of love to him/her) or normal (spoke, played, laughed, hugs, open to touch, etc.). There was no "spectrum" of in-betweens like there is today. Now only do people understand it. I had to go my whole life in frustration, trying to figure out why the hell I feel so isolated and different from all the other kids, why don't I just "get" it, like everyone else does. To this day I feel like some alien, rather than a human. That damage will never be repaired, no matter what disease/condition they diagnose me with. The label is not an answer, it's still just a label, a name to the thing that plagued you. It's like being attacked by a masked attacker that almost kills you and then flees. His damage he caused to you is permanent, and then one day after 20 years a police officer comes to your door and says "Here is a photo and the name of the man that attacked you 20 years ago." All you can say is "Sooo, this is who the son of a ***** was all along, oh OK". It doesn't solve anything, it just clarifies things a bit. It is actually rather pointless information to be honest and could even cause more damage than good in the end in my opinion.

You're right about the bullying. So many hugs for that, I know it well . My problem was I actually stuck around with the people who treated me like crap, because it was the only form of social attention I could get . Bad attention was better than none. I think many people don't realize that. People ask you why you stick around with them even when they treat you so bad and they don't understand that if you leave you'll have absolutely nobody left in your life at school. And, a loner gets bullied more than a group "satellite member", I know, because I was a loner for a long time. At least when I was with them, I was only the target 50% of the time.

To Bobby, yes I've got to agree with you about the media. But, do you know what I've noticed already, is that not only does certain "portrayals" lead others to view those being portrayed in a certain way, but even has the power to make those being portrayed behave in the way they are being portrayed!!! What I mean is people actually live out the character the media paints of them. It really happens. I think it's become so sick already that people become gangsters and murderers in certain places because they believe that is what the rest of the world sees them as, and they do, because it's on the media. Projection is a dangerous thing, so many people miss it. If you truly believe a certain person or group of people are a certain way, then they will prove you right!!! Why does it work? Because the messages are non-verbal. We as humans have learnt that speaking with our tongues is no longer a reliable form of information gathering or exchange. Our subconscious automatically is wired already to pick up implied messages and non-verbal messages, often in people's actions, even over long periods of time. The subconscious is independent of time, that is why trauma from your childhood can link and interfere in your adult life. My point is these messages can convince people of anything, and they'll believe it.

It happened to me already! It's so true the way you say people with certain personalities are linked to being murderers, serial killers/rapists, etc. I used to watch many crime channels on TV and they would bring up programmes called the most evil and bad men, or whatever. When they describe these people, they say he was a loner, didn't get along with kids at school, didn't ever have a girlfriend, close relationship with his mother, father is either an alcoholic or missing in action, etc. At the end of the program, they lay it down in such a way that I think "Oh ****!!! That is me they're describing!!! Down to the wire." Naturally, the questions soon follow "Can I be capable of such evil acts if left alone? Am I that sick? Do all women find me disgusting, overbearing, and giving unwanted attention? Can I be capable of rape?" "Maybe I'm a psychopath too." You lose touch completely with yourself eventually. Luckily, my mind is bright enough to intervene and present opposing evidence to some degree, otherwise I would be screwed. But, can you see how easy it is to unsettle someone just with subtle implications? They're not saying to me directly "Hey, Adrian, yes you, you are a murderous psychopath!", instead they are saying "You see this guy? He had the same problems you have, Adrian. How do you know that you won't commit such things one day? You seem to have all the right ingredients." Then I would say "But, I'm not like that, I would never do that!" Then the message says again "But, Adrian, can't you see? All that removes you from him is time. You are 25, he was 35. And, you've lived a more sheltered life than he did, with fewer childhood traumas, you've just been lucky, he wasn't. You know that with time comes problems, Adrian. Who says that it's not just a matter of time before problems overtake you and you go over the edge? Adrian, can't you see? Women hate you just like they hated him. You are 25, single, and almost at breaking point because of it. He lasted until 35 until he cracked. You, Adrian, are going to crack sooner!" At this point I'm sitting in front of the TV, in tears, thinking to myself "I'm such a monster, I'm no different than him!". But, over the past year or so, I must say I've been lifted out of this, and I can only attribute it to God's help. I've come to learn that it is Satan that tells us these things to make us believe things that aren't true. God has shown me, with little signs, that I'm not a monster, that women don't hate me. And, He also asks me to let go of all these things, although that is hard sometimes. I've come to realize I've been lied to so many times that I can't always do what I need to do to overcome. It is a slow and painful learning process, and all I can do is ask God to be patient with me.

So, I think what has happened to many of us is that we have accepted things about ourselves that aren't necessarily true. We assume since we have Asperger's or autism or ADHD, that when someone else suggest we have more problems, it's easier for us to just accept it as true without questioning it!!! Why? Because we are vulnerable. We have been told we are "ill" so it's not surprising that we can easily incorporate other "illnesses" into ourselves without thinking!!! And remember, if you are told so, and believe it, you end up living it (see above)! It is now quite clear how easy it is to fall for something, because it sounds so real. I've been fighting these demons for the last few months of my life, and I've decided to become a seeker of the truth in everything. I no longer accept anything without investigation on my part first. It's the only way you can be true to yourself, is to know everything about yourself and those influencing you.

I thank you Bobby for your insight into "media-message" type of almost mind-control of the masses. I'm so glad someone else can see what I see. I also firmly believe that this is a very real phenomenon and is going to cause massive problems in the future still, I'm talking world war type conflicts. It's coming, and we have media to thank for it, spreading lies and sensation across the globe.

I think you're right, I may have been a little optimistic .

Bobby I used to think generalising my health problem would make it more bearable and it never does, I can see where you are coming from, but i'd say with Aspergers some people's lives are governed by it all the time, even if they do seek help or try to improve it.
I have met people who have suffered greatly with the health problem and they are always constantly striving to do better but it is never enough for this society we live in.

Well done, this is inspiring to hear!

Sorry for taking a few weeks to reply to your last post but I recently had a death in the family and my step daughter has been having a hard time dealing with it.

I was never a victim of bullying when I went to school because I could pass off being normal so well it become quite difficult for anybody to pick up on me having disabilities and my best friend and one of my cousins helped me out whenever I struggled with things so I can’t relate to what you and Hellions went through back then but I can relate to being bullied and the feeling that I didn’t belong. Going to school was an escape for me from the hell my Dad put me and my sister through and I didn’t have to worry about people putting me down for having disabilities and being different there because only a few people I trusted like my best friend (Jackie) knew about them. It was her idea not to tell anybody about them because she saw how much other kids with disabilities were getting bullied and even to this day only a small number of people I know are aware I have ADHD, Asperger’s and OCD.

I have problems trusting the so-called ‘normal’ people because I have been letdown by them one too many times when I have told them I have disabilities but I do trust people like my Wife, my sister and my friends and having people you trust in your life is important because if you can’t trust people you are always going to be alone no matter how many people you surround yourself with. I understand it isn’t easy and there are pricks out there that will try to take advantage of you if you let them but you have to remember there are good people that won’t and it is just a matter of sifting through the dirt. My Wife and Sister are two of those people and my Sister has always been there for me and I think I would have killed myself if it wasn’t for her because after all the **** I went through with my ****ing useless prick of a Father losing my best friend on top of it was too much to handle.

**** what the media writes. Rebel. Most of the people writing those articles are notorious ‘yes men’ all working for some crummy old rich bastard that thinks he owns the world. Over here in Australia it is King Rupert and King Rupert likes to claim that he is a man of the people and he knows what every day Australians want to hear yet he doesn’t even live in Australia and the last time he actually got up off his throne to do something close to meaningful was to take a giant turd and clean the worms out of his wrinkled arse which by the way probably hasn’t seen the light of day since 1925. Don’t let their **** kickers decide your fate Adrian – only you can decide that and if Harold, Jeffrey and Eifel want to conform to their ways let them go ahead but be yourself because that’s all that matters in the long run.

As for war, I think we are already seeing that now with ISIS and ISIS is very similar to American media because they have managed to brainwash people into doing horrific acts to spread their message for them and these are the so-called normal people. Sorry if it looked like I ignored your last post Hellion but I didn’t see that when I replied to Adrian and I hope things are looking up for you now.