Stuff are surfacing at this stage of my life only

Hi all. I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome about 3 months ago and it really explained many of the things I have been going through in my life. The problem is the therapist I was with told me that I should do some research on ADHD/ADD as well, to see if I match some of the symptoms. But, the thing is I've began to realise some stuff that might be going on but I don't know if it's at all possible.

I have had several hobbies in my life. Because I have AS, I intensely focus on a topic and obsess over it to the finest detail. But, this only lasts for about 2-4 years and then I bury the subject completely and focus on something entirely new, building an intense obsession over that subject until I lose interest again. What I want to ask is, can this be a form of ADD?

As I understand it, ADD is when someone loses focus or interest in something, like in class for example and find it difficult to concentrate. The thing is, this is observed over short periods of time, example people becoming bored after say 5 minutes in class or 5 minutes into an activity. But, is it possible that there is a variation or form of ADD that spans longer time cycles than these, like over a period of several years? I can't for the life of me stick out with something like other people do. I can't imagine myself doing the same job for 30 years for example, or even being married to the same person for so long. I know myself, I would just be able to handle whatever it is for 5 years maximum and then want to bail/exit, that's how I am. I've had this problem at university, I started off with a B degree in science and loved it, then did an honours B degree and loved it too. Then suddenly when I started my masters (M) degree, I began to lose interest completely in my chosen field and I lived in denial for over a year, because I couldn't believe it had happened. But, I sit here now totally uninterested in my subject field, I even hate it, because I am forced to follow it, I have commitments and contracts to fulfil. I finished the M degree now I'm doing PhD and I'm so unmotivated I have no idea how I'm going to pull it off this time. The M degree was pure hell, but only by the help of God did I manage it. Now I'm in so much trouble. The thing is I've always enjoyed research so much, it was my passion, but all this stuff has taken so much of a toll on me, I've had depression for the last 2 and 1/2 years already. I have no more passion for anything, I can't even fire up some of my old hobbies/obsessions. I wish to just do nothing and have nothing anymore. I feel dead inside. I've searched over the whole university for an answer or another field already but nothing does it for me. I'm so screwed I don't know what to do . How can my brain do this to me, just switch off and leave me high and dry? Especially now, at the time I depend on it most. If I don't complete my course, I'm in deep trouble because I'm studying on a scholarship. It feels like I can never ever make any sort of commitment ever, because some day I'll fail to honour it. I hate myself so much.

I'm almost convinced I've got some sort of long-term or long-period ADD or something. My question is thus, is ADD defined or constrained to certain time periods? I mean like 5 minutes, 30 minutes etc. or can it's effects manifest over several years?

Since I have depression, I show the symptoms of normal ADD, I can't even focus on my work for 2 minutes without procrastinating again. But, this is now resulting from my emotional state, before I did not have this problem, but maybe I did, just on a bi/tri-annular scale? Maybe the intense obsession and focus that AS can offer counteracted the effects, or prolonged the effects of ADD?

Does anyone have some insights into this maybe?

Hi there.

From what you describe, it sounds more like ASD related than ADD. It's pretty much a description of what we call our "special interests", these are things we enjoy or get pleasure from which can be obsessive to the extreme. Some special interests last a life time whereas others can last weeks, months, or even years and then as quickly as they started they will completely go away and we have no interest what soever in that thing any more.

I have a few special interests, my primary one which is what I dub my 'life long addiction' is Science Fiction. I love it, can't get enough of it. I don't think it'll ever change, it's the subject I know the most about (which you know, isn't very handy really for most areas of life) and I could talk about it for days without pause.

Over the years I've had many other 'passing' special interests, coding (C++) was a big thing for me most of last year. I started playing a computer game and then started working on coding for it and lost all interest in the game itself. I spent every day from when I woke to when I went to sleep sitting working on code for about 9 or 10 months. Then one day I woke up and I'd just completely lost interest in it, deleted most of the tools from my PC, backed up and then deleted most of the projects from my PC. Haven't touched it again since.

When I get immersed in any of my special interests, the world around me kind of becomes a bit of a haze. People can be standing next to me speaking to me and I don't even notice they are there. I forget to eat, go to the bathroom, even sleep. I've found that setting alarms on my phone for 2 hour timers can help force me into realising time is passing and take a break, but sometimes even those don't work.

Thanks very much for your insights, I really appreciate it . I guess you are right, these obsessions do last for different amounts of time. I've never had a lifelong one though, I don't think. The thing is now for me, I have no more, I haven't had one in years, they're all gone. It coincides closely with the depression I've been having. I also have ADD symptoms now, I can't concentrate on anything I do. I can't remember the last time I sat down and worked on something for hours like I did when I was younger.

You're welcome. Getting your depression treated would definitely be worthwhile. I can sympathise with how that just stops you being interested in pretty much anything, I've suffered with it on and off since I was 12 and about 6 years ago they eventually diagnosed me with Dysthymia. When I get really down, I just can't be bothered doing anything even if they are one of my special interests they don't usually appeal very much. Depression can also cause an inability to focus on tasks, so it's possible that could be causing the symptoms you're linking to ADD (not necessarily, but worth trying to find out maybe).

Thanks, I think you're right. I've never really displayed symptoms of AD(H)D as such, in fact I was more of the other extreme, too focused, too placid. I think it is the depression, I just can't think of anything or wanting to do anything except eat, sleep, watch TV and other mindless activities .

Haha yeah our 'hyper focus' tends to be the opposite of those with ADD. Where they see the big picture and then ignore the smaller details, we tend to focus intently on the small details and not notice the bigger picture. I hope you're able to speak to someone about getting help with your depression.

I have both AS and ADD. I do believe though some have more classic AS, and some have something slightly different. I don't think it's a coincidence the same brain has both AS and ADD. But according to how ADD is diagnosed I "have" it as well.

I don't even believe ADHD/ADD is one thing, I used to believe it was maybe two, but looking around I'm not so sure about that either. There seems to be more variants and some seem rare some common with AS.

I look forward to more research.

Thanks guys . Yeah, I've been going to therapy but stopped eventually, because it was all just cognitive-behavioural therapy stuff, I don't know, my mind just sees through it all. I'm very hard to "trick". Also, they keep on about my childhood which I would rather like to forget. It's all in the past. My problems are current. I think maybe the meds are a good idea, but then I'll have to go to a T again first .

I have a friend with pure ADD and no AS, he as a very strong and even destructive hyperfocus, and yea when he is in it he does details. So it does exist. To the point he can work on something and make himself sick.

Yeah, a lot of things I've read since my AS diagnosis have said that CBT is usually not very effective for people with AS because it's designed to work with an NT brain. Since our brains work differently, it's got a lower chance of being effective. I'm slightly worried because I'm currently waiting on a referral to start CBT for my OCD and DID, but if they don't work then I don't know what other options will be available to me other than medication which I really would like to leave as an absolute last resort. I already take enough pills for pain management due to other health issues.

My comment was a generalisation of AS and ADD, since hyperfocus is usually pretty common in AS but less common in ADD, I should have made that more apparent. I was also basing it on the differences I've noted between myself and my cousin. I have AS, he has ADHD, and he can't focus on pretty much anything for more than half an hour before looking for something else to do whereas I focus so intently on things I don't notice an entire day has passed and then get annoyed I have to go to bed because I'm not finished yet haha.

Obviously a PDoc is the best bet, since he's already been diagnosed with AS and Depression, they can make a better individual diagnosis based on one to one interactions etc.