[ToeJam]

Baring in mind that I am 37 and if anything comes of this it's going to be a very late diagnosis I am writing this for a bit of feedback and to just offload somewhat.

Come what may, my T is convinced I have Asperger traits (high functioning) that she wants to address but she believes it is in my best interests (since completing a test where I scored well above the threshold) to be screened properly and will be making a referral via my GP (with my permission) once I've been discharged from hospital where I am being treated for Depression, anxiety and have also been referred by (the ward psychiatrist) them for personality disorder assessment.

My T and the ward Psychiatrist have been in communication regarding this and the Psychiatrist agrees it is something that requires investigation and complimented my T to me on appearing very experienced.

Anyway, probably preaching to the converted but this is all new to me... the aspergers test was broken down into 3 subsections: Social communication, social interaction and social imagination.

I scored very low on communication and this was why my T believes it has been missed for so long, I am very good at one to one communication and through life experience have adapted simply to get by and fit in.

However I scored really high on social interaction and social imagination... in addition to this what triggered the link for her was my sensory acuity, in my case it's noise... I am very easily distracted and distressed by noise (something that would be easily missed in a calm one to one session in a quiet t session) that has overwhelmed me while in hospital.

Not entirely sure what this all means for the future, nervous with being screened - be it a confirmation or unconfirmed. If the former, totally clueless what this will mean for the future... if anything major will change in regards to employment, general functioning or how others view me (socially, medically, community). If the latter and it's just traits that will be left for my T to unravel then I could find that scary in itself while I manage the other diagnosis's I'm having to deal with.

So yeah... will leave it at that and got it off my chest for now.

[BobbyDavis]

Having bad communication skills or being easily distracted doesn't mean you have Asperger's Syndrome. I have great communication skills thanks to my Sister and my best friend growing up and the majority of people that I work with don't even know I have disabilities and are surprised when they find out. It could just be you are a shy or antisocial person and you need to get out and talk to more people.

Let us know how things go and good luck.

[ToeJam]

Thanks for the reply, didn't quite address my concerns (well aware that for now it's a 'what if' rather than a confirmation). I would not say I am shy (perhaps antisocial, but that's down to getting tired fast)... as I've said, I've adapted... but I tire very very quickly in group interactions and have a lot of trouble reading situations.

By and by. Will see what happens.

Does mildly amuse me (and this isn't directed at you specifically, noticed it else where on the boards) how quick people are to down play or disregard concerns when people are in the midst of having traits or disorders explored by professionals that are yet to be confirmed. It is quite a bewildering state to be in for the person concerned, with the wait for appointments and wondering what the hell is going to happen. As such my topic here was more to explore both avenues rather than having it just put as 'could be nothing' which sends a mixed signal and makes me edgy... so, I apologise if this comes across as narky.

Oh and I think you misread... my communication skills (one to one at least) was scored as good... it was the other 2 areas that threw me over the threshold for screening

[phaset]

Hi ToeJam,

In December the psychologist I was seeing for my diagnosis, who I had some major problems with, told me that I had Asperger's, in the end though he didn't diagnose me with ASD because he wasn't sure if I met the new requirements. I was officially diagnosed by an psychiatrist in March. The period in between was horrible. "Almost but not quite" sucked. I've told no one but my wife, and she still seems to be in denial. I can't say anything changed with my doctor, but I did notice him explaining the difference between SSRIs and SNRIs yet again when I saw him this week. Also my wait time at his office has gone to almost nothing.

I doubt much will change for your employment. If you are diagnosed, will you share it? No one will treat you differently than they do now if they aren't told. You have been in the hospital for quite some time, I would expect to be treated differently because of that.

I hope you are out of the hospital soon and your testing goes well.

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by phaset

Hi ToeJam,

In December the psychologist I was seeing for my diagnosis, who I had some major problems with, told me that I had Asperger's, in the end though he didn't diagnose me with ASD because he wasn't sure if I met the new requirements. I was officially diagnosed by an psychiatrist in March. The period in between was horrible. "Almost but not quite" sucked. I've told no one but my wife, and she still seems to be in denial. I can't say anything changed with my doctor, but I did notice him explaining the difference between SSRIs and SNRIs yet again when I saw him this week. Also my wait time at his office has gone to almost nothing.

I doubt much will change for your employment. If you are diagnosed, will you share it? No one will treat you differently than they do now if they aren't told. You have been in the hospital for quite some time, I would expect to be treated differently because of that.

I hope you are out of the hospital soon and your testing goes well.

Thanks very much for this reply. I'm not shy or ashamed of my mental health, and as such I probably would disclose it to work (manager rather than floor staff)... he's more than aware that I am a bit 'quirky' (as he's put it) and it would protect my employment rights... for example (based in the UK) our company has had to lay off staff... my job was safe, but with the long term sick leave and hospital admission they would be treading on egg shells to make my position redundant at this time... in addition to that, there were triggers from work that contributed to my admittance and this will need to be addressed between my work and the mental health care team when I go back. My psychiatrist is wanting certain things addressed so that once back in the community I stay there rather than have another melt down and come back to hospital or worse.

RE the time in hospital, no doubt other staff are aware. As such that is going to be a bridge I'm just going to have to cross... will just have to see how things play out.

Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.

[Cinderella678]

Toejam, I agree with you. People absolutely downplay other's symptoms or disregard certain traits. I find this true when I make mention of the stroke I had a few years ago. It causes me at times severe and very annoying memory lapses and inability to recall names of people, places or things. They brush it off by saying, "Oh that happens to me, and I never had a stroke." I want to reply with a curt, "Yes but it doesn't happen to you every 5 minutes, now does it?" Most of the time, I'm cognizant enough to restrain myself from saying anything. But people do minimize or trivialize our concerns! Often times, I think they are doing it to me in an attempt to make me feel better about my lapse and to identify with me, maybe even to take away some of the stigma I feel. And it is true that it happens to everyone from time to time but not all the freaking time. Why can't people just listen? Or find some way to relate? Oh, but that reminds me, we are talking about Asperger's here. We often have trouble relating to people.

Speaking of which, I really related to what you had to say, especially that you're about my same age and trying to wrap your head around this. Aren't we figuring things out a little late in life? I don't know about you, but I'm tired of not living up to my potential. There has to be an answer, and I'm bound and determined to find it. I took the Asperger's quiz today. Scored high, as I knew I would. I've been very familiar with the DSM-IV since I was 22 years old due to my degree and the work I've done. I've lived in denial long enough.

I am similarly going through some issues with employment where I've been "let go" for not fitting in. It's been nothing they can put their finger on specifically but in CO, if they don't like you, they let you go. It's an "at-will" state. I was told that "it's not a good fit" at 3 of my last 5 jobs. The job this spring, administration kept me on but transferred me to a different department. The administration really liked me. I do an excellent job. The ironic thing is that I was working with children, many of whom have autism. Since I was doing an excellent job, meeting all the necessary objectives of my job assignment, I had a great review but was advised to open up more and be myself, be more sociable and relational. However, I find when I do that, I really mess things up by saying awkward things or making others feel awkward, nothing inappropriate but just well I am into very nerdy, scientific stuff, I reckon. I have no idea. I can't figure this out. I really feel stuck in my head unable to see what other people are seeing. And to be honest, some of them are really weird or REALLY trivial, fake, superficial, and mundane, in my opinion. But I keep that opinion to myself and just listen. Oh and I'm too honest, or blunt or lack tact, whatever label various people have given it.

So here I am, 38, started counseling today, trying to get all of this figured out, wondering what am I doing wrong. I didn't realize it in myself until I saw it in my son a few years ago. At that time, I was "let go" from another job for not "fitting in." I think its time to accept the facts. I'm tired of trying so hard to just fit in. I really just want to be myself and not conform to society's ideas of "normal." Really, really tired. I'm sure you know how I feel. Thank you for listening. I appreciated your post.

My big question is if Asperger's and ADD are related. I feel like they are. At least in my case. Any feedback or websites to research would be awesome!

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Thanks for the reply, didn't quite address my concerns (well aware that for now it's a 'what if' rather than a confirmation). I would not say I am shy (perhaps antisocial, but that's down to getting tired fast)... as I've said, I've adapted... but I tire very very quickly in group interactions and have a lot of trouble reading situations.

By and by. Will see what happens.

Does mildly amuse me (and this isn't directed at you specifically, noticed it else where on the boards) how quick people are to down play or disregard concerns when people are in the midst of having traits or disorders explored by professionals that are yet to be confirmed. It is quite a bewildering state to be in for the person concerned, with the wait for appointments and wondering what the hell is going to happen. As such my topic here was more to explore both avenues rather than having it just put as 'could be nothing' which sends a mixed signal and makes me edgy... so, I apologise if this comes across as narky.

Oh and I think you misread... my communication skills (one to one at least) was scored as good... it was the other 2 areas that threw me over the threshold for screening

[The_little_didgee]

An assessment can be very helpful even if you don't meet the criteria for ASD, because it gets you to think about your personality. It's revealing. I finally had the words to describe some of my personality traits that I couldn't vocalize. Identifying those traits can really improve psychotherapy.

I was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 34 by a psychiatrist. She interviewed my mother and had us fill out questionnaires about my developmental history. Since I am a woman it took longer to get diagnosed, even though ASD was suspected back in 1994 when I first went into psychiatric treatment for 'depression'.

Getting diagnosed really helped me heal and it answered so many of my questions. It explained why I always felt different. It also got rid of my personality disorder diagnosis that I never agreed with.

ASD is much more than communication troubles. What other ASD traits so you have besides communication troubles?

[ToeJam]

Well, that's the thing that has been puzzling me. Was my T who initially connected the dots and got the ball rolling as it were... she noted that I was very sensitive to noise (in terms of distraction... i.e. other peoples conversations, the dog barking or whining while I try to think and talk, people walking by outside the window during our sessions (just the clip clopping of their shoes))... but as you said, 'communication' was not something she'd noticed at first as on a one to one basis I have adapted and managed very well as I've grown older... I've learnt to pick up on cues in a pattern sort of way much like I was forced to do with my colour blindness and other issues as I was a child.

She got me to do the AQ test by Simon Baron-Cohen Aspergers Adult AQ Test Quiz Online: Autism Spectrum Quotient and I scored 39 out of 50 (32 being the threshold for suspected Aspergers) and then after speaking to my p-doc, they got the ball rolling for me to be screened (which still hasn't happened yet... waiting times are long).

In terms of 'what other traits I have'... I don't really know... I'm me... saying that, I am repetitive in routines and hobbies and I get very anxious if said activities are disrupted.

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

An assessment can be very helpful even if you don't meet the criteria for ASD, because it gets you to think about your personality. It's revealing. I finally had the words to describe some of my personality traits that I couldn't vocalize. Identifying those traits can really improve psychotherapy.

I was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 34 by a psychiatrist. She interviewed my mother and had us fill out questionnaires about my developmental history. Since I am a woman it took longer to get diagnosed, even though ASD was suspected back in 1994 when I first went into psychiatric treatment for 'depression'.

Getting diagnosed really helped me heal and it answered so many of my questions. It explained why I always felt different. It also got rid of my personality disorder diagnosis that I never agreed with.

ASD is much more than communication troubles. What other ASD traits so you have besides communication troubles?

[RichardBrooks]

I, too, am in my mid-thirties and was only diagnosed early this year, at which point the diagnosis was little more than a confirmation of my own suspicions. I had learned some coping skills over the years, but they were self-taught and lacking. For instance, while I could communicate fairly well on a one-on-one basis and had decent public speaking skills, trying to carry on an actual back and forth group conversation generally left me silently fuming at being interrupted so much with no idea of how the topic had gone from how the influenza virus mutates to the latest episode of some reality TV program I had never heard of. Also, and most importantly, almost every social interaction left me full of self doubt and mentally exhausted.

And that's what being diagnosed has changed for me. I realized that I was exhausted because I wasn't being myself but playing a character of myself. I learned that my coping mechanisms were limited because they weren't addressing the true issues (e.g. what I had thought were panic attacks were actually autistic meltdowns). I learned that it was okay to be me, and I got okay with being me. Today, I know when I am getting overwhelmed and that It's okay to take a step back. I know that it's okay to let myself stim when I'm alone or with people who know about and accept my quirkiness. I am repairing relationships that were nearly destroyed by what I refer to as my social flatline (my lack of recognizing, and recognizing the importance of, certain social complexities such as telling my girlfriend I love her). My business is doing better because my relationships with my customers have improved.

I like to say that being diagnosed and all that's come of it was like reading my life story and having it make sense for the first time. Yeah, it was scary letting go of some firmly held ideas, but today I am me --the real me --living in the world --the real world (as opposed to the one where I felt like an alien stuck on the wrong planet).