[PennyD]

Hi guys!

I am truly wondering about a friend of mine..
I will keep this simple and just list a few symptoms and let you decide.

-extreme social awkwardness
-very inflexible
-very indecisive
-won't understand basic jokes, metaphors, comparisons (about 40% of time)
-OBSESSED with electrical circuitry (obscure facts, etc.)
-has trouble reading social cues
-easily frustrated/can't tolerate ambiguity
-disconnected from other people's perspective
-odd speech patterns/physically clumsy

About 30% of the time, he is really easy to get along with.
I just can't tell at this point.
His brothers also exhibit similar behavior, one being slightly worse and the other, slightly better so could it be genetic?

Please advise, Thanks!

[psychword]

Originally Posted by PennyD

Hi guys!

I am truly wondering about a friend of mine..
I will keep this simple and just list a few symptoms and let you decide.

-extreme social awkwardness
-very inflexible
-very indecisive
-won't understand basic jokes, metaphors, comparisons (about 40% of time)
-OBSESSED with electrical circuitry (obscure facts, etc.)
-has trouble reading social cues
-easily frustrated/can't tolerate ambiguity
-disconnected from other people's perspective
-odd speech patterns/physically clumsy

About 30% of the time, he is really easy to get along with.
I just can't tell at this point.
His brothers also exhibit similar behavior, one being slightly worse and the other, slightly better so could it be genetic?

Please advise, Thanks!

Hi Penny,

Do you know if his brothers have been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrom, or to they just have similar symptoms. How long have you known your friend? It sounds like there is genetics involved if the brothers have the same symptoms. How old is your friend? It definately sounds like there is something to at least be investigated. Have you discussed this at all with your friend yet?

- PW

[kim_johnson]

I can't imagine anything worse than lay people going around trying to diagnose others...

Why not just worry about you?

What good do you think will come of your calling them names?

[PennyD]

Originally Posted by kim_johnson

I can't imagine anything worse than lay people going around trying to diagnose others...

Why not just worry about you?

What good do you think will come of your calling them names?

-----

If you think trying to help a friend with mental illness is "calling them names" then you might need to worry a bit more about yourself as you said.

Thanks

-Penny D

[psychword]

Originally Posted by PennyD

-----

If you think trying to help a friend with mental illness is "calling them names" then you might need to worry a bit more about yourself as you said.

Thanks

-Penny D

I couldnt have said it better myself Penny!

[PennyD]

Originally Posted by psychword

Hi Penny,

Do you know if his brothers have been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrom, or to they just have similar symptoms. How long have you known your friend? It sounds like there is genetics involved if the brothers have the same symptoms. How old is your friend? It definately sounds like there is something to at least be investigated. Have you discussed this at all with your friend yet?

- PW

So far, him and his younger brother has been diagnosed with ADHD. He is a great friend I've known for a few years, and he is 24 years old. He has told me multiple times how much these symptoms get in the way of his daily life and this is what makes me wonder how I can help. We talk about possible causes but I've haven't been able to be direct about the possibility of mental illness/syndromes.

Thanks for the help, PW!

[phaset]

Originally Posted by PennyD

-----

If you think trying to help a friend with mental illness is "calling them names" then you might need to worry a bit more about yourself as you said.

Thanks

-Penny D

While I object to calling Asperger's a "mental illness", what you described could be Asperger's but there is no way for anyone to know over the internet. Have you talked to him about it? It's for him to find out (if he wishes to know), not for you to speculate behind his back.

[PennyD]

Originally Posted by phaset

While I object to calling Asperger's a "mental illness", what you described could be Asperger's but there is no way for anyone to know over the internet. Have you talked to him about it? It's for him to find out (if he wishes to know), not for you to speculate behind his back.

Thanks for your input Phaset.

Unfortunately, you've misunderstood the point of my post.
I am not speculating behind his back as we openly talk about these issues together and the possibilities regarding causes. He does wish to know as he has expressed this to me and has reached out to me for help. I am simply researching what fits the symptoms on a leading forum for psychological information.

Also, note that I specified "illness/syndrome" specifically to avoid such objections given we are speaking in a general sense and do not definitively know the cause yet.

-Penny D

[kim_johnson]

You come to a consumer site looking for consumers to diagnose your friend on the basis of a few symptoms that you judge he has.

With friends like these...

A syndrome isn't a cause of symptoms. It is the name given to a cluster of symptoms. To say that a substance is soluble isn't to explain the fact that it dissolves in water, or to say anything about the cause of it's dissolving, it is merely to repeat that it dissolves in water.

If your friend wants your help on this then perhaps you could help by encouraging him to get appropriate professional help instead of asking lay people to diagnose him over the internet.

You haven't asked anything about how you can help him in any concrete way... Seem more interested in putting (yet another) label on his head... If I had a 'friend' who thought this was an appropriate way to show friendship I'd be pretty angry. I'd ask how you would like it... But maybe you like the dramas so it doesn't translate...

Perhaps it's an autistic spectrum thing.

[-jimi-]

Maybe electric circuits are simply more interesting than people. I mean who gets to decide what is a good interest?

I can just say personality traits can easily run in families, my sibling is quite similar to me in many aspects, even if I have a diagnosis and he does not. In USA sometimes a diagnosis of ADHD is given out easier than one of autism. There is an overlap between ADHD and autism.

[PennyD]

Originally Posted by kim_johnson

You come to a consumer site looking for consumers to diagnose your friend on the basis of a few symptoms that you judge he has.

With friends like these...

A syndrome isn't a cause of symptoms. It is the name given to a cluster of symptoms. To say that a substance is soluble isn't to explain the fact that it dissolves in water, or to say anything about the cause of it's dissolving, it is merely to repeat that it dissolves in water.

If your friend wants your help on this then perhaps you could help by encouraging him to get appropriate professional help instead of asking lay people to diagnose him over the internet.

You haven't asked anything about how you can help him in any concrete way... Seem more interested in putting (yet another) label on his head... If I had a 'friend' who thought this was an appropriate way to show friendship I'd be pretty angry. I'd ask how you would like it... But maybe you like the dramas so it doesn't translate...

Perhaps it's an autistic spectrum thing.

Thanks for the chemistry lesson, friend.

However, as mentioned previously, he requested my help.

Thanks for your input.

[PennyD]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

Maybe electric circuits are simply more interesting than people. I mean who gets to decide what is a good interest?

I can just say personality traits can easily run in families, my sibling is quite similar to me in many aspects, even if I have a diagnosis and he does not. In USA sometimes a diagnosis of ADHD is given out easier than one of autism. There is an overlap between ADHD and autism.

Hi Jimi,

You bring up an excellent point. No one can decide what is more or less interesting as everyone is different. I think I failed in detailing why I mentioned that initially. He had mentioned that sometimes he is unable to meet deadlines and retain his focus on other vital tasks because of his fixation on circuitry. He described it as being "locked in his brain against his will". So in this case, it could be any hobby or interest so long as it begins to hinder him in other areas of life.

Your info about these traits running in the family is very helpful as well. As you brought up, the overlap makes it especially hard to find the culprit so everything helps. I truly appreciate your input, Jimi.

All the best.

-Penny D

[kim_johnson]

Maybe you could see if there is a consumer group that is local and ask them if they could recommend a knowledgeable clinician. Then you might be able to talk to your friend and see if they might be willing to go along and have a chat to the clinician.

Sometimes having a diagnosis can help someone get the support they need so that they are happier / more productive in life. So... It can be important and really make a positive difference.

It worries me that sometimes a diagnosis can be a bit of a... Well, can be fairly unhelpful. People use it to beat you over the head with it, if that makes sense. Write you off... Dismiss you... Not saying that that was what you were trying to do to your friend - but just saying that getting diagnosed can sometimes be ammunition for others to use against you.

If there does happen to be a sympathetic clinician who it is feasible for your friend to see... Then things could work out pretty well, though. At least... This kind of thing turned out to be very helpful for me.

Sorry if I was cranky before... I didn't mean to be... I was trying to help in my own 'special way'. Peace.