[kala83]

so my boyfriend contacted me today while at work needing cigerettes which I was all to ok wih helping him get.

but we are considering the idea of moving in together. And discussions need to be had.....

espically since there is not a lot of time before the lease is coming up and its gotten on my nerves some that....no one has truly given me a good solid straight answer.

and I kind of want one so I know if i need to pack some **** up or not.

but I kind of ended up putting my foot in my mouth and talking to him while at work for too long, and apparently his boss is saying I do this too often and cut into the company time and money and that I need to stop coming by as much....pretty much told BF that if I showed up at all in the span of two weeks he was going to ban me from the place.

I don't know what makes me feel worse the fact asperger's makes me do dumb things like this that get me and other's in trouble.

or dealing with on top of all of this having a mood disorder...and trying to cope with how I feel and 9/10 times epically failing at it.

I truly do hate how this makes me feel to I mean most times it makes me feel like I have failed as human being on a social level.
And I genuinely feel like I just want to lock up myself up inside the house and not deal with other people at all.

I mean just some time genuinely feel like I do not deserve human contact cause I do not conduct myself in appropriate ways, and I feel epically dumb for doing so.

[jelly-bean]

There is no need for you to feel dumb about your behavior. It sounds to me like you are doing well considering you have Asperger's. You may make mistakes sometimes with regard to your behavior but even those of us who do not have your problem make mistakes and behave improperly too. You will learn just like all the rest of us. All you need to do is stay away from your bf's work place and hopefully things will work out fine for you. I hope you both sit down and have a good talk about moving in together and get that item settled so you know whether to pack things up or not.

[kala83]

as if feeling the way I did about all this did not make me feel really badly anyway. I wake up early this morning to find my girlfriend of nearly two years....maybe even three saw my post on this on a website and specifically told me she wanted to personally mesage me instead of posting it publically.
"Okay I decided telling you this on here is better then fetlife. Follow this rule. If you like someone or are going out with them, Do NOT go to their place of work unless invited to or for an emergency. Dropping off cigs is not a emergency. This has happen 3-4 times in 2 years dear."

it was not so much what she had to say to me that bugged me it was how she said it...of course this is not what I responded back to her with cause I knew in the over all long run reacting emotionally how I wanted to would solve little to nothing for the most part.

I just find it really hard to deal with people saying things along the lines of "well we understand you feel shittty about something but come on you kind of brought this on yourself at this point" which was how this comment from her made me feel.
but this is why I am commenting about this here and not somewhere she could read I love her, just as much as I love my boyfriend but it seems often at times when or if you are poly.... sometimes the people that love and care for you the most can be the most brutal and cruel about things I guess cause they don't feel the need to hold back on things as much.

[unaluna]

Idk. I think youre lucky you have a friend who will risk telling you that. I still feel embarrassed about going by a former bf's work, and that was over 20 years ago. I wish i had known that rule then!

[kala83]

lol that’s more how I feel yes that I am clueless to these rules that other people are aware of and that I am not....but as hard on me as my partners are they care about me and want to help me and I am lucky to have that

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by kala83

lol that’s more how I feel yes that I am clueless to these rules that other people are aware of and that I am not....but as hard on me as my partners are they care about me and want to help me and I am lucky to have that

Plus this rule makes sense to me now - at my last job, i used to talk to this guy in the hallways. We worked in different departments. But one time he came to my desk, and i was really embarrassed in front of my coworkers! But the way your friend puts it - he was not invited, and it was not an emergency. So now i dont feel so bad about not wanting him there. Your boyfriend DID invite you, so thats kinda on him. Its funny, i was just thinking about this incident the other day. Its been over ten years and i still hadnt resolved it. But now you did, thanks!! (((Kala83)))