Just last night, my Mom said some things that basically revealed to me that she is essentially a phony who never really wanted me in the picture. (if you read my other posts, you'll see what I'm talking about) Now, she's trying to say that what I'm saying is ridiculous and saying, "love ya" and everything in that tone of voice she had when I was a kid that sounded so sincere but evidentially wasn't. I'm not buying it though, and I doubt I'll ever buy it. Once the truth about things like this are revealed either intentionally or unintentionally, there is no going back. In this case, it was a mixture of both, but it was revealed nonetheless. It's like one of those things you can't un-see. The change in you is permanent and the change in how you see things is always permanent. It does not matter what happens in your life, the realization sticks with you. However, these things always end up making you a better person. You learn from these kinds of things, and ultimately it will make me stronger. I am now permanently destined to a better man. I will be forever stronger, I will be forever more clear headed, I will no longer be muddled like I have been. It's crazy the way she's just still here with me in the same house, and I know I'm going to be out of this house within a couple months. I might never see her again after that, but I haven't officially decided on whether I will go no contact. I'll just be working hard and then chilling hard with my friends on my nights off, just being the man I was always meant to be. She's here in the house actually talking to me like the way she's always been, but soon she will no longer be a part of my life. In addition to being sad, I am happy for the life that awaits me.

My dad has also been saying he loves me for about the last year or so, something he never said before. I also don't know if I believe it. With me, the situation was somewhat inverted to yours, but the outcome remains the same. My dad was always distant and cold when I was a boy and I never thought he loved me. To hear it now makes no real difference, I've already grown up to be a man, so love or no love from him - makes no difference now.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Steve223

Just last night, my Mom said some things that basically revealed to me that she is essentially a phony who never really wanted me in the picture. (if you read my other posts, you'll see what I'm talking about) Now, she's trying to say that what I'm saying is ridiculous and saying, "love ya" and everything in that tone of voice she had when I was a kid that sounded so sincere but evidentially wasn't. I'm not buying it though, and I doubt I'll ever buy it. Once the truth about things like this are revealed either intentionally or unintentionally, there is no going back. In this case, it was a mixture of both, but it was revealed nonetheless. It's like one of those things you can't un-see. The change in you is permanent and the change in how you see things is always permanent. It does not matter what happens in your life, the realization sticks with you. However, these things always end up making you a better person. You learn from these kinds of things, and ultimately it will make me stronger. I am now permanently destined to a better man. I will be forever stronger, I will be forever more clear headed, I will no longer be muddled like I have been. It's crazy the way she's just still here with me in the same house, and I know I'm going to be out of this house within a couple months. I might never see her again after that, but I haven't officially decided on whether I will go no contact. I'll just be working hard and then chilling hard with my friends on my nights off, just being the man I was always meant to be. She's here in the house actually talking to me like the way she's always been, but soon she will no longer be a part of my life. In addition to being sad, I am happy for the life that awaits me.

After reading this, I'm wondering if the advice I gave you on another post would be relevant or not. The more I learn about your mom, the more questions I have about her. Sometimes it sounds as though she's tried her best, and is maybe feeling frustrated that she doesn't feel like it's been "good enough", and at other times I read something you say that makes me wonder if maybe you're right about her. I was hoping that her behavior had been misinterpreted due to a lack of communication. Like, maybe she wasn't telling you everything about her own personal struggles or something. Now, I just don't know.