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Nike007
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Default Apr 01, 2016 at 09:18 PM
  #1
Hello. So I am waiting for my assessment result that checks for neurodevelopment disorders. I believe I meet the criteria for ASD, and so does my pdoc. But anyways, did people treat you differently once they knew? Like, made fun of you or just negatively in general? I hope no one does this. Thanks for any responses Did people treat you differently once they knew you had autism.

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I have ASD so please be kind if I say something socially unacceptable. Thank you.
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Default Apr 01, 2016 at 10:24 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by Nike007 View Post
Hello. So I am waiting for my assessment result that checks for neurodevelopment disorders. I believe I meet the criteria for ASD, and so does my pdoc. But anyways, did people treat you differently once they knew? Like, made fun of you or just negatively in general? I hope no one does this. Thanks for any responses Did people treat you differently once they knew you had autism.

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I will see autism expert next week. I hope nobody is so insensitive to make fun of anyone with autism. But it is a weird world out there. Right now, I do not want to tell anyone that I have it. I don't think they would otherwise know, unless I tell. WHY TELL ANYONE? That is my question. Well, maybe if there is a good reason for someone to know. Like maybe relatives. I tried to tell my sisters and one went into a rage, a real autistic meltdown and the other one would not talk to me! They both have autism, I believe. I feel very alone in this. I cannot tell my brother, not yet, anyway. I think he may have it and I am almost positive that his wife has it. I am sorry I don't have a better answer for you. I have almost all that you mention above. Hugs to you.
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Default Apr 01, 2016 at 10:45 PM
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My best friend acted weird. Most days she forgets and is fine. But if there is conflict she always drags out the aspergers. Like I'm nuts and she is fine so everything is my fault.

Worst is volunteering. I had to tell once because if I was sent there through the autism team I would have work insurance, otherwise not. Once out there I was not allowed doing any important tasks anymore. It was like they thought I was a danger or would screw up completely. Being treated like that was quite bad even if they weren't mean about it.

I haven't told others but my friend tells everyone because she doesn't understand it is a thing you don't go round spreading. So far I haven't had any negative comments from her friends that she told.

If I was to tell family they would totally deny deny deny.
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Default Apr 01, 2016 at 11:47 PM
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It depends on the person you are telling, if they are a bit of a **** then don't mention it. The best way I find is asking them what their opinion is on Autistic people before you mention it, if they give a really negative response then don't. If they ask why you are asking them just say you were just wondering about it.

Frankly though, if you want a friend who accepts you being autistic then go make an autistic friend on the same kinda level as you - there are plenty of us out there, we really are quite common and they are usually the best kinda friendships I have.

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Did people treat you differently once they knew you had autism

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Default Apr 02, 2016 at 05:30 AM
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The few people that I've told have been very supportive - except my family. We don't discuss anything about it in the family.
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Default Apr 02, 2016 at 01:38 PM
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Nobody treats me differently and makes fun of me. People I am close to appreciate the way I am. There is definitely a positive side of ASD.

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Default Apr 03, 2016 at 10:27 PM
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Yes...my husband now resents me because of it. I have started avoiding all social situations and he hates this. I'm tired of it stressing me out. I told him to go to gatherings and do things...heck, leave if you're not happy, but he couldn't make it without my pension, so that's why he hangs around for now...

I got a feeling, when we hit our 10 year anniversary that he's going to divorce me and sue for half my pension. I better start saving some money...just in case.

My daughter totally understands me and helps me out sometimes. She has friends with Aspergers and likes them better than the NT people so we get a long really well.

My friends...well, I no longer have friends because they weren't real friends to begin with. When I told most of them that I was diagnosed, I was morbidly depressed about it and they disappeared. Good riddance.
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Default Apr 13, 2016 at 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by TheEbonyEwe View Post
Yes...my husband now resents me because of it. I have started avoiding all social situations and he hates this. I'm tired of it stressing me out. I told him to go to gatherings and do things...heck, leave if you're not happy, but he couldn't make it without my pension, so that's why he hangs around for now...

I got a feeling, when we hit our 10 year anniversary that he's going to divorce me and sue for half my pension. I better start saving some money...just in case.

My daughter totally understands me and helps me out sometimes. She has friends with Aspergers and likes them better than the NT people so we get a long really well.

My friends...well, I no longer have friends because they weren't real friends to begin with. When I told most of them that I was diagnosed, I was morbidly depressed about it and they disappeared. Good riddance.
--------------

Pardon me but why would you wait until your anniversary for him to divorce you and sue you for half your pension? If you really believe that, why not get out of the marriage now, if it is so bad? Why wait?
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Default Apr 17, 2016 at 08:42 AM
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--------------

Pardon me but why would you wait until your anniversary for him to divorce you and sue you for half your pension? If you really believe that, why not get out of the marriage now, if it is so bad? Why wait?
Because there is a 50/50 chance that I could be wrong. I don't know how to tell which makes me paranoid. I can't tell the difference if someone is plotting on me or just having a bad day. I can ask them, but if they have a hidden agenda, they're just going to lie and I can't tell if they're lying.

Paranoia sucks. Most of my problems stem from it...and I developed it when I was told that I have Asperger's. I'm always the last to know about everything....last to figure it out because I don't pay attention to people's drama, body signals, emotions, etc. I don't get it.... Don't understand it and can't figure it out. Makes me very anxious...always wondering....if he's content or if he's plotting something. It's a horrible place to be.

I could leave and make a huge mess, but if I'm wrong...

I should have never gotten married. Holy crap, young people reading this...if you have been diagnosed early, be thankful so you know not to make a mess of your life!
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Default Apr 21, 2016 at 03:01 PM
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EbonyEwe, I was on the other side with a H who I'm sure has Asperger's though I didn't know it until after I finally left & started researching why my marriage failed. I'm not sure if knowing would have changed anything as far as being able to deal with the behaviors but I think it would have helped to know why his behavior was what it was rather than thinking that he was being abusive or at best emotionally neglectful. Oh yes, the paranoia that I lived with. Anytime anything went wrong he was always telling me that they were out to get him when it reality it was a problem that he made himself but had no idea how to fix so I would have to end up the one that fixed every problem that happened. It's not easy being on that end of life especially not knowing why the person is so incapable of what seems to be common sense things.

It wasn't until after I left & started to live around people who weren't like my H or even my father as in researching information on Asperger's regarding my H, I realize that my dad also fit the descriptions perfectly. So living around that all my life, there was a tension but I had no idea why....but I fought it because I felt like I was being forced to live that way rather than being allowed to be myself even though I really didn't know who myself was, it was just in inside tension I couldn't define. Communicating was such a struggle, I had no idea that I wasn't the one with the problem until after I left & people had no problem understanding me.

Yes, we tend to only look at our side of the issue, but with every issue there are 2 sides that are being effected. I determined even at the beginning of my marriage that there was no way I should have ever been married. I had no idea what emotional connection was growing up with my parents & definitely NOT with my H. I know that it's something that I never experienced so I had no idea how to connect to people all my life because my parents had no idea how. The strange thing is that now I'm out of the marriage & away from that environment, am so happy & have wonderful friends that I do emotionally connect with for the first time in the 63 years of my life. It's taken me the last 9 years away to figure out HOW to communicate with people & to emotionally connect but I realize that it was there inside, it was just an aspect of me that had never been able to be developed in the environments I lived in all my life.

Honestly, I would think that if someone knows & understands that they would treat with more understanding. I know that understanding that my H's behavior was from Asperger's & not from abusive behavior would have helped my anger I ended up feeling toward him. Now that I understand, at least it's gotten rid of my anger though it would NEVER make me go back to wanting to live that way at least I understand his behavior & why he acts the way he does from 2100 miles away, it's a lot more tolerable though I will finally get a divorce when I can financially afford it.

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Default Jun 02, 2016 at 09:16 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
My best friend acted weird. Most days she forgets and is fine. But if there is conflict she always drags out the aspergers. Like I'm nuts and she is fine so everything is my fault.

Worst is volunteering. I had to tell once because if I was sent there through the autism team I would have work insurance, otherwise not. Once out there I was not allowed doing any important tasks anymore. It was like they thought I was a danger or would screw up completely. Being treated like that was quite bad even if they weren't mean about it.

I haven't told others but my friend tells everyone because she doesn't understand it is a thing you don't go round spreading. So far I haven't had any negative comments from her friends that she told.

If I was to tell family they would totally deny deny deny.
--------------

Can you tell your friend that your having autism is very personal and it is not something she should go around telling people? Ask her to please not do that? Maybe tell her that you are the only one who should tell people and only when it is necessary for some good reason. My family will not talk to me about autism; they have it, too. I think that we should not tell anyone unless they have a real, true need to know about it.

I have two male friends and I have told them about it. I am not sure it was the right thing to do. I guess I will eventually know. I am not so sure how we know when it's the right thing to do but these are fairly new friends and we are getting to know each other. One is a penpal and one lives where I do and both are very kind people. My therapist said to not ever let anyone into my life unless they are kind. Maybe that's a good rule to follow for all of us!

If anyone else has input on this, I'd love to hear it. Thank you.

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Default Jun 02, 2016 at 11:54 PM
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I wanted to add to my post. So I got an assignment in one of my classes today and my teacher said students would be mark on how you acted and would lose marks if you didn't do this. One of the things listed was make eye contact with others. I am bad enough as it is, but under pressure, I'm even worse. Also, we had to use hand gestures, which I barely use anything, which is apparently part of my ASD.

Anyways, and I didn't want to get like a level 1 or 2 because of my autism. So I asked to talk to my teacher "privately" and I told her I have autism and I was on the verge of crying due to previous stress and was going to cry earlier in the day but didn't. But she was grinning and stuff (I'm pretty sure my teacher already knew, but wanted to make sure), and saying that I can do what I want to be comfortable and stuff, but I'm so scared for this project. I really am. But I told someone and they seemed nice about it.

Social anxiety disorder, ASD, GAD, OCD, and panic disorder

Lexapro, 10 mg; Ativan 0.5 mg PRN

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DX: GAD; ASD; recurrent, treatment-resistant MDD; PTSD

RX: Prozac 20 mg; BuSpar 10 mg 2x a day; Ativan 0.5 mg PRN; Omega 3 Fish Oil; Trazodone, 50 mg (sleep); Melatonin 3-9 mg

Previous RX: Zoloft, 25-75mg; Lexapro 5-15mg; Luvox 25-50mg; Effexor XR 37.5-225mg


I have ASD so please be kind if I say something socially unacceptable. Thank you.
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Default Jun 03, 2016 at 01:28 PM
  #13
Some people treated me differently, yes. Not so much making fun of me as them acting I don't have as much potential as them. I do have as much potential, it's just different potential.
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Default Jun 03, 2016 at 01:38 PM
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Can you tell your friend that your having autism is very personal and it is not something she should go around telling people? Ask her to please not do that?
I tried but she doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. I think she has autism or something...
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Default Jun 05, 2016 at 01:19 PM
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No.

But it has provided an explanation for those who know me well.
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